Patience & Love (title change: Breaking the Nerd)

Chapter Two: Seeing the Nerd

Chapter Two

Abella's POV

    Hiding. That is what I am doing right now. That is what I do most of the time. I pull the covers closer around me and shut my eyes. Today marks day three of locking myself away in my house, the one place I can be myself. I know I have to go back to school soon, but do I really want to face the world?

    I miss the old me, I miss the happy, outgoing care free me. I wish this monster that has taken over my body would go away. I wish medicine worked for me. Instead I can deal with my paranoid, hair triggered anxiety, or I can take medicine and become a walking zombie. I have spent too much of my time being a zombie since my diagnoses, and finally I decided I was tired of just being completely useless. There are days I want to take the medicine just to push away the constant fear, but I don't. Knowing what that road looks like keeps me off of it.

    Taking a deep breath I feel my dog nuzzle up against me. "It's okay Sadie, I'm okay," I whisper softly as I stroke her head. There is more than one thing that keeps me sane and happy and that is my mom and my animals, especially my therapy dog Sadie. She senses when my anxiety peeks or my emotions changes and tries to comfort me.

    Giving Sadie a kiss on her head I crawl out of bed feeling a more like myself which means today is a good day. Good days have become few and far in-between so I try to enjoy them while they last. Walking over to my closet I pull out a grey hoodie and some black leggings and carry them over to my bed where Sadie still lays, looking at me with her big, brown, puppy dog eyes.

    I tug my t-shirt over my head and put on a plain black bra and some deodorant. I pull the grey hoodie over my chubby body and it hangs off of me because it is two sizes too big, but it covers how big I am. Grabbing the black leggings I tug them on to my body and pull them over my stretch mark covered stomach. Walking over to my dresser I grab a hair brush and put my long blonde hair in a bun. I cannot help but grimace when I look in the mirror at my chubby face. With a sigh I slip on a pair of brown, mid-calf boots because it's fall and a little chilly sometimes. Pulling my book-bag onto my shoulders I walk down the hall of our small double wide to the kitchen, Sadie follows me the whole way.

    My mom has on a blue button down and black jeans with black heels. Her dirty blonde hair is loose falling in perfect curls just above her shoulders. For the record my mom is a school teacher, elementary education to be precise.

    "How're you feeling today sweetie?" she asks sliding me a bottle of water.

    "Yeah, it's a good day mom. Thanks," I tell he and she nods. Grabbing her school bag and purse she nods. "Are the cats and dogs fed?" I ask looking around for any of our other animals. They must be asleep somewhere because they don't like to get up in the mornings. Sadie sits at the side of my legs and I smile down at her and then look back at my mom.

    "Yes they are all good, ready to go hun?" she asks with an encouraging smile and I nod my head as a response. Mom walks around the counter and loops her arm around me walking me out of the house and to her beat up little Chevy car.

    She pulls up in front of the high school and gives my arm a gentle rub. "It'll be okay you can do it. If you need me I am a phone call away. I love you sweetie," my mom says and I close my eyes fighting off the anxiety as I look at all the people at school. "I love you too," I tell her as I take a deep breath and open the door getting out and walking towards the school. I cannot help but constantly check over my shoulder and just keep an eye on my surroundings. I hurry down the hall and to my first class where I sit in a back corner to hide. My government teacher pays no attention to me, mainly because she's been instructed not to. I just sit where I am so I don't have to worry about anyone else bothering me and I can see everyone.