Tattoos and Skinny Jeans [ NovaHD ]

Chapter F o u r

- James POV -

After Aleks had finished making the lasagna he scooped me out a dish. He also poured me a glass of milk. The smell was fantastic and he hadn't even burnt the lasagna one bit. I took my fork and made myself a decent sized bite. Quickly, I shoved it into my mouth and enjoy the flavors that bursted within. "Holy shit, this is really good, Aleksandr!" He turned around and smiled.

"Really? Good. I'm glad you like it!" He chimed out as he motioned for me to follow him. We sat down on his couch in the living room and he turned on his giant flat screen. Where the hell did he get money to buy this? Damn.

"Is it safe to be eating this out here? I wouldn't want to get a stain on the couch..." I looked down and admirred the soft fabric.

"No, it's fine." He muffled because, he had shoved a giant piece of lasagna into his mouth. I chuckled as I watched him.

I must thank Seamus later for getting me to give him a chance. He isn't at all what I imagined. He makes me happy; genuinely happy. I had actually forgotten about the bad times in my life. I looked over at Aleks and I was finally able to get a really good look at his face. 

He had sort of a baby face. He had small strains of hair breaking off from the stuck up gel strands. His eyes were small but beautiful. His eyebrows sort of thin but went on an arch towards the end. His lips weren't pencil thing but they were kissable. Rather kissable. He noticed me staring.

"Uhm, James? What? Do I have something on my face?" He asked me as I smiled and shook my head.

"No...you have nothing on your face." I whispered as I breathed in. I sat my plate on the table in front of me and then sat so I was facing Aleks.

"Something wrong?" He asked, taking another big chunk of lasagna and stuffing it into his mouth. 

"No..." I rubbed my hands together. "Look...I'm going to try to open myself up to you. This isn't an easy thing for me to do. Especially because well...I've only talked to you for two days. I know nothing about you but that makes it slightly easier if you decide to leave me afterwords..." 

"James, I do--" I cut him off.

"Just let me speak..." I took a deep breath in and swallowed the fear that was invading my body. "I'm...sad. Really, really sad inside. Not as sad as I was before I met Seamus and Jordan. They were the reason I'm here today. I had it all planned out. I had the pills I had stolen from my mother and I had a knife in case it didn't work. I even had the rope hanging. I was sitting on the cold cement in the garage when I heard the door open. My wrists were cut and the pills were already in my system. All they did was make me dizzy and I cut my wrists the wrong way. Seamus rushed in and brought me to the hospital. He said the pills were from me trying to get a buzz and my wrists were cut from falling on broken glass. They didn't admit me to the psych ward but that is only because of my story."

I took a moment to breath. Aleks was looking as if he was going to burst out in tears.

"He never let me out of his sight again til he knew I was stable enough...even now I'm not stable. He calls me once every three hours. The only reason he hasn't called me now is because he knows I'm with you." I rubbed my hands on my face and through my beard. "I'm still not okay, Aleksandr...I told Seamus that I was fine on my own and he told me I wasn't. He was right. I'm not fine on my own. I'm just so fucking scared that if I let someone in...they will leave me. I can't take that." 

I scooted closer to Aleks and I put my hand on his thigh. "That's why I can't be your friend. I don't want to get close to you and lose you. I know your kind...It will happen eventually...even if you don't want it too." I stood up and turned around. To be honest, my heart was already breaking because I was leaving this man. "I'm sorry, Aleksandr..." I was about to walk away when a hand gripped my wrist and brought me back. I was engulfed into a bubble of warmth. I never knew such a skinny man could have such warmth.

I looked down and Aleks had his head buried into my chest and his arms tightly around me. His hands were gripping my shirt. 

- Aleks POV -

I sat there, so surprised. I didn't even have to bring the crowbar out and bust his chest open. He did it all for me...He explained his story and now I knew. I knew why James Wilson was so quiet. I knew why he tried his hardest to push me away. He stood up and he was about to walk out on me. I couldn't let that happen.

Now my hands were gripping this mans shirt and my head was buried in his chest. I knew he wasn't going to wrap his arms around me. Why would he? He wants to leave. I looked up at James and frowned. His cheeks were a tint of red. 

"James...I am so sorry." I let my hands release his shirt but my arms were still around him. "Killing yourself is never the answer...if you killed yourself...so many people would be devasted. So...many..people." He looked away and shook his head.

"You don't understand, Aleksandr. Nobody would care."

"Seamus and Jordan would have. If they didn't, they wouldn't of tried so hard. Especially Seamus. I see the way he looks at you. You're his special friend. He needs you. He wants to protect you with every inch of his body. I know that I would care. I mean...right now I would. If you walked out that door and then the next day I hear you killed yourself?" I stepped back from James and sniffled. "I would feel horrible. You're an amazing person, James Wilson. You are someone who can change the world...I know we don't know each other and we aren't friends but I care for you." I put my hand on his cheek and I rubbed it gently against his cheek. "Please don't walk out that door.." I pleaded. I begged. 

James...he was someone who was changing bits and pieces inside of me. He was making me drawn to him. 

He smiled at me and stepped closer, accepting my hand against his cheek. He pulled me closer to his body and hugged me so tightly. "Thank you so much, Aleksandr...for you, I won't walk out that door." He whispered into my ear and I tightened my own grip around him. We stood there for a minute and then released each other. Our faces still close. God, how I wanted to kiss those ever so perfect lips. I knew this wasn't the time for that. 

"Come on...you are spending the night at my place. We are going to have a blast tomorrow." I smiled as I wiped my eye again. I guided him upstairs and to my room. "I understand if you aren't comfortable if I'm in the room with you." I turned to let him have his privacy and he pulled me back. 

"It's your room. It's not like we are going to do anything." He laughed a bit and I nodded nervously. 

He crawled in bed after removing his pants and shirt. His bare skin was showing and it was slightly tanned. He had a beautiful build and I loved that. I then removed my pants and shirt. James was already in bed and I crawled in with him. My room was lite up by the moon light. James was already asleep and I smiled to myself as I was laying, facing him. 

Today must've been hard for him...spilling his chest open to me like that. So unexpectedly...God, I would never leave this boy. 

I leaned in close and places my lips gently against James. I was hoping this wouldn't wake him up. I kissed him, just for a few seconds. I pulled back away and smiled. 

"I never knew that someone I barely know...could mean so much to me."