Summer Before Her (Completed)

13- What Dreams Are Made Of

*Trigger warning: Description of suicide *

Novak's POV

Her hand gnawed at the rope around the neck as her legs writhed in the air, flailing wildly, searching for a footing to hold on to.

Her scream choked by the rope closing in, her finger still clawing at the rope, face scrunched up in agony, she let a noncommittal sound, one of struggle.

Her body thrashed around to get some air into her lungs, she continued struggling for a full minute before she let out one last gasp, a few sickening cracks later, her body fell limp.

I woke up covered in cold sweat, my lungs heaving as I gasped for air, the feeling of the rope all too real. How did this happen? Was I not blackout drunk last night? This wasn't supposed to happen- my mind screamed, reliving the trauma, again and again.

My alarm still blaring away, unaware of my relief at having woken up.

My body shook like a leaf in the wind, too weak to support its own weight, I fell back into bed in a heap.

I spent the rest of the morning cocooned up in bed. Usually, I would drag myself out of bed and get through the day, dealing with whatever was served but today, I didn't have the mental or physical energy to move, let alone go through an entire day of school.

**

I slowly drifted out of sleep as I heard the door slam shut, that must be dad.
Being aware that I had the house to myself, I willed myself out of bed and made it to the scantily illuminated kitchen.

There's only so long one can go without fuel, I made myself a classic sandwich and pushed myself to eat it as I settled on the couch with a beer.

I pulled out my phone to be met with a barrage of texts from Kirsten:

Kirs: Where are you? Next lesson is bio
7:55 am

Kirs: If it's about last night, let's forget that happened
8:10 am

Kirs:Novaaaaaak
8:15 am

Kirs: you better not be sleeping in
8:30 am

Kirs: I am waiting in bio
9:00 am

Kirs: Any changes you want to make on the project?
9:05 am

Kirs: Mr.Cyr is here
9:07 am

Kirs: He is looking for you, what do I tell him?
9:08 am

Kirs: project submitted, thanks a lot🙄
9:20 am

Kirs: Seriously, are you okay?
2:30 pm

I clicked my phone shut and brought my attention to the sandwich, I had to eat it, lack of appetite isn't an excuse- I reasoned with myself.

My phone buzzed in my hand and the screen lit up, it read :

Kirs: I KNOW YOU ARE READING THIS, RESPOND ARSELOCH.

Ooh, wasn't she a bundle of sunshine?

I lacked the mental strength to deal with Kirsten's theatrics so once again, I clicked it shut and continued nibbling at the sandwich. I looked at it to find less than one-fourths gone, huh how? I had been effectively nibbling at it for half an hour now, I bet a hamster ate faster than me. As for the beer, it was gone. I debated grabbing another bottle, having a light buzz would make it easier to navigate life.

Four beers later, my sandwich was gone and I had a slight buzz, enough to make me text Kirsten back.
What should I tell her? Hey Kirsten, I had a nightmare so I ditched you on the project?

After much thought, I formulated a response and hit send.

Hey, yeah I am okay, I slept in, sorry.

Short, sweet and non-descriptive, that should do.

Almost immediately she responded:

Cut the crap, is it because of last night?

This is the second time she mentioned this, what the hell had happened last night? The last thing I remember is being at Seth's drinking myself sleep.
How did Kirsten come into the equation? Did I buttdial her or something?

I looked at my call history to find the dialled number.

It was Kirsten.

With a call time of twenty minutes, What in the world was I thinking? What had I told her in those twenty minutes?

I was freaking out. Being a very private person, this felt like a great invasion of privacy, I felt empty, as if someone had robbed me of the moments that weren't supposed to be shared.

Could today get any worse?

With a jingle of keys, the door creaked open and dad came blundering in.
He returned early today, I wonder why. My wonderment was shortly answered when a petite yet plump woman followed him, her filthy fingers wrapped around his arms, her nail clinging to maintain hold as he walked past me without sparing me a glance and into the bedroom.

Great. Now I have to leave.

Just as I was planning to leave, I remembered that my wallet and keys were still at Seth's, I would have to retrieve them before I could go anywhere.

I was too tired to walk, I settled for blocking out my thoughts as well as giving them privacy by blasting some music in my headphones.

As if mocking me, the lyrics to the song on discover playlist blared out

Dreams.. Dreams.. Dreams.. I've been
having dreams

At that, I pulled off the headset, only to have Dad walk into my room

"Start paying rent, or pack up and leave" he declared.

What? Where did that come from?
Why now? I don't even have a job. Where was I supposed to go?

"What happened?" was the only response I could muster, too tired by the day's revelations.

"I am sick of you eating and living off me, you are old enough to be a waste of space somewhere else. I don't want to see you here when I return from work tomorrow" he said venting his anger.

Oh boy, what am I to do now? I did foresee this day coming but not this soon.

Dear Universe, 'Could today get any worse?' was a rhetorical question, you don't have to go all out and actually make it worse.

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Hey Guys,
As I said, new phase, things are gonna be pretty grim for a while.

Writing Novaks POV is very difficult as he lives an isolated, self-consumed life. The only piece of dialogue in this chapter is with his father, you can comprehend how alone he truly is. Was my writing able to convey this?

I hope you guys enjoyed reading this, I delved into some of my darkest thoughts writing this.

Leave a vote and comment if you liked it.

Until Tomorrow
Elle