Summer Before Her (Completed)

24 - His Crime and Sin

Novak's POV

She sat on the dusty concrete, her head resting against the wall, arching her neck and pointing her lips towards the sky.

I stood at the entrance as if waiting for permission to be invited, I felt like I was invading her space despite being asked to be here.

A few seconds later she tapped the space next to her, dust flying out from underneath her hand as she said "Come here" without facing me.

I sat down next to her, tentatively. Ensuring distance between our bodies so as to not elicit an unwanted reaction out of her.

This was awkward, this was painful. This was uncharted territory, I had no idea how to approach the topic and what was sensible to say and what wasn't? I have never felt this unsure of myself.

"Cigarette," she asked, extending her hand. I reached into my pocket and handed her a stick wordlessly.

After observing her roll it around between her fingers, making the motion feel familiar, she looked at me pensively as if asking for something.

"Oh, the lighter" I exclaimed awkwardly, fetching it from my pocket, clicking it out of habit before handing it to her.

"Do you know how to light it though?"
At this question, she wordlessly passed the cigarette as well as the lighter back to me.

I held it between my lips, inhaling as the flame set it alight.
One long drag later, I passed it to her, pocketing the lighter.

She looked at my lips, waiting for the smoke to spew out of it. Despite knowing why she was looking at me, I felt a warm uneasiness gather in my stomach, it was perhaps from holding my breath this long.

I let go, as my lungs screamed for oxygen, my bloodstream saturated with nicotine. The smoke blew out in a stream as she silently watched.

She brought the cigarette to her lips and sucked in shortly, before inhaling between her teeth.

It was a majestic sight to behold, the sun glinted on her face, highlight her raised cheekbones, glinting off her tamed red hair, the cigarette sticking out between her puffy lips. I could kiss them.

What? I did not just think that. It's probably a hormonal reaction due to a girl smoking. I need to maintain a fifty feet distance before I say something inappropriate— I chided myself mentally.

"So what did you figure out?" she asked, remarkably calmly.

"That I have an urge to kill," I said bluntly.

"You have to make a few promises first," she said.

"Yeah?"

"You will not 'kill' anyone"

"Don't you think you are asking for too much?" I responded playfully.

"Nova, I don't understand how you function, one second you are barely my friend, the next you are drunk and flirting and then the next you are sober yet concerned" she stated, curiosity pooling in her eyes. I could see the flecks of golden and black in those greens.

"Novak, you are staring" she blurted out.

Oh.

"I am sorry about my drunken call, I didn't mean to be crass" I responded averting my gaze from her face.

The bell signalling the end of the class could be heard ringing away in the background. Both of us ignored it as if we never heard it.

The silence between us grew, the whisper of our breaths leaving between puffs of smoke was the only sound to be heard.

"He kissed me" she blurted out in a whisper.

My attention snapped back to her face as I tried to meet her eyes, but she kept staring off into the distance as she recounted.

"H-He kissed me a-and I didn't want him to" she continued, stuttering as her voice cracked and faltered.

I held my breath as every muscle in my body screamed to strangle 'His' neck.

"He touched me," she said, now breathing calmly.

I didn't know how to react, I just felt blinded by rage. I didn't know if I could keep my promise of not killing him.

She looked at me, her hand reached out to touch my thigh "Nova, He made a mistake"

"Ki, Why are you reassuring me? I have a right to be mad and to want to strangle him, you should be mad too, you should cheer me on as I punch his face into a smush"

Her hand still resting on my thigh, she moved her fingers slowly, as if lost in thought, her eyes downcast. The cigarette lay forgotten close to her feet. I focused on my breathing trying to reign the rage in, committing homicide is not going to help anyone.

She looked up a few moments later, her eyes filled to the brim with unshed tears as she said "But it's my fault, Nova. I flirted with him for three years. I wasn't dressed appropriately when he came over. I wish I could take all of it bac–"

"No No NO, you don't get to do this to yourself, Kirsten. Not now and Not ever. It wasn't your fault, none of it was your fault."

The tears flowed down her face dripping on her shirt as her hair hid her face. The hand on my thigh now turned into a fist.

"Kirsten, Look at me" I begged.

She raised her head once again, wiping her wet cheeks with the back of her hand, as the tears kept flowing relentlessly, giving up she let her hand fall back into her lap.

"I wasn't your fault, I don't care if you were wearing a bikini or that you filtered with him for a decade. You didn't want it and that's enough. You didn't give consent, what he did is a crime and it's his fault and sin.
It isn't your fault. Capiche?"

Her fist on my thigh slowly relaxed as she nodded her head, scooting closer to me, resting her head on my chest as her body angled towards me.

My hands still lay by my side, aching to hold her close and tell her a million more times that it wasn't her fault.

"C-Can I hold you?" I asked, awkwardly stuttering.

At that she further relaxed, sinking into my chest, I took that as consent and gathered my around her back, holding her.

My breath in sync with hers, my heart thumping out of my chest, consumed by rage and at her proximity.

We just sat there for quite sometime before she said— "Fred"

I wanted to say that yes, I know, and I will make sure to make a dent in his face.

Instead, I held my tongue and said, "Yes, It's his crime and Sin"

Deep breaths Novak, deep breaths.

"It's not your fault" I whispered again, my chin now resting on top of her head. It smelled like lemon and peaches.

I could stay like this forever but I had a crime to avenge.

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End of Chapter 24.

This was really difficult to write.
Leave a vote and comment, please.

Until Tomorrow
Elle.