Summer Before Her (Completed)

36- Is this how it ends?

Novak's POV

I couldn't believe how my life had changed, At the beginning of the year, I was uprooted out of Newyork and thrown into this small town. I was angry, lonely and someone who looked forward to numbing away the day by whatever means I could find. Be it a bottle of pills or booze.

So much happened, Old man has found love again, living the perfect American life. I have my own place, I am acing school and best of all, this girl sitting next to me. She had become the light of my life, she makes me want to live every moment, makes me long for a forever.

"Heyyy" she greeted me, looking up through her eyelashes seductively while her hand rested on my thigh.

A thousand and one not so innocent thoughts ran through my head. If only she knew what she does to me.

I placed my hand on her and raised it off my thigh and placed a kiss on it.
"Heyy Baby" I responded back.

She rested her head on my shoulder and hummed to herself as I leaned back into the bench, taking a bite out of her salad.

Talia and Wani on the opposite bench, contently bickering about their science work.

How did I get so lucky? Even after every fucked up thing I went through, I never imagined in a thousand years that someone like her would want someone like me.

Soon lunch came to an end and as we were exiting the cafeteria, Kirsten looked at me with conflict written all over her face and said: "Can we talk after class?"

This doesn't sound good.
Did her parents say something at dinner yesterday? Is that why they wanted her back so soon after the date? Shouldn't they just not have let her go?

I watched her walk away, heading towards the school's main entrance. What was up with this girl? Wasn't she supposed to be in class?

Ah, maybe she forgot something in her car.

I ignored all dialogue and doubt in my head and headed straight to class. Time to tackle some differential equations.

**

As the bell rung, I dragged my heavy feet to the door, I had been overthinking the conclusion of our talk for the remainder of the classes.

Dread filled me when I saw her hugging Talia, a sobbing Talia. What was wrong?

I stood across the lot watching her say her goodbyes before Talia drove away.

I walked up to her expecting to hear the worst, I asked her "What happened to Talia?"

"Oh her mother isn't feeling well" she dismissed it.

"Ah, What is it you wanted to talk about? Should we go somewhere?" I asked, unwilling to discuss our personal affairs in the middle of a parking lot.

Just then Fred walked past with a weary face, he made eye contact with me briefly before turning his eyes down.

What is happening? What do I not understand?

"No, we have to talk here and talk now."

"Oh.. Sure, What is it?" I asked, quite jittery now.

She looked cold, conflicted and hurt.
Why was no-one telling me what was up?

"You and I, whatever this is can't be any more"

"Wha—Why?"

"I just can't stand your narcissistic, self-absorbed personality anymore"

"Wha—What's going on Kirsten?"

"You have consumed my life and I can't deal with you anymore, I am just so done with you and your sob story" She declared, turning away and walking towards her car.

I grabbed onto her hand and begged her to understand, asked her to explain, what was going on? I couldn't understand. We were floating away on a cloud yesterday and today I was too bad for her.

"Leave me alone, You are a fucking drunk who needs to get his head in order" she snapped, snatching her hand away from my grip before getting into her car and driving away.

Several students had gathered, looking on silently. I stood there stunned. What was I to do?

I couldn't comprehend anything and I needed a cigarette, so I walked back into the school building, up to the second-floor shaft.  The place where she smoked her first cigarette.

I let myself fall to the ground and lit up a cigarette. Every drag was punctuated by a regret I had.

Inhale
Why wasn't I a better person? Why was I so self-absorbed?
Exhale

Inhale
Why did I let my dad down? Why couldn't I have helped out around the house?
Exhale

Inhale
Why was I a fucking drunk? Why did I not do better in school?
Exhale

Inhale
Why did I deserve this? What were my wrongs? How can I retribute them?
Exhale

**

After barely making it through the day, I was at the bar. In for some heavy drinking.

Kirsten was unreachable. My number had been blocked, Talia claimed to know nothing. I was just short of walking up to her door. I couldn't bring myself to do it as the hate and hurt that dripped off her face when she spoke to me pierced my heart.
When had I become so pathetic? Maybe it was when I fell in love with her.

I love her. It was a sore realization.

But nothing to make of it now, the hour called for it to be drowned in whisky and vodka.

Seth saw me and walked over from his place behind the bar counter and placed some neat whisky.

Glass after glass, he kept refilling it without question. Is that how transparent I was?

And with each sip, I was more lulled than before. The burning pain in my chest simmered as I lost coordination of my limbs, the comprehension of my own words and my ability to think.

God really did hate me, just as this horrible day was coming to an end, as I was moments away from passing out, someone sat next to me.

And it was none other than our darling Fred.

Knowing the limits of my inebriated body, I asked him "What do you want?"

"Man, I came to talk about Kirsten" he uttered, almost in a whisper.

"You don't know what happened between us man, leave her out of it" I responded, angered yet aware of my inebriation. I couldn't hit him, not today.

"She doesn't hate you man, She is sick," he said, his face pained as if delivering a blow.

"What do you mean Sick?" I questioned, now intrigued.

"Leukemia, she was in remission, its back" he declared.

It felt as if the world stopped spinning, and everything came rushing back. Her fatigue, her sleepiness, the rash on her thigh that we had joked about being an STD, her hesitation to run. How long did she know? Why was she hiding it? I had to go see her right now

"You okay there, man?" Fred asked, his face pained as he evaluated my condition before calling out to Seth.

And that was the last thing I remember before I passed out.

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The End.

A/N: I know it a very disappointing end, but I have plans.

Check out the announcement in the next chapter.

Elle