Hey, Cupid (COMPLETED)

Chapter 3: The Childhood Friend (Part 1)

Hey, Cupid:

Would it be fine if I use love as the only reason why I am trying to stay alive despite of the voices inside my head telling me that I deserve to die?

~-~

Feb's POV

I saw Vernon looking serious but I just let it slide because he's been like that ever since forever. I greeted him with a smile.

"At last you have noticed my existence here." He smiled at me. While Vernon's serious looks could scare anyone because it seems colder than Antarctica, once you see him smile, the warmth coming from it would be enough to melt all the ice in the said continent.

"Who's that guy? The one you had shared a table with?" He asked, putting his arms around my shoulder. Sanay na rin ako rito sa pagka-clingy ni Vernon. He's not just a friend but rather, he's my childhood friend kaya saulo ko na 'yong mga mannerisms n'ya and I don't really mind it. We're like siblings after all.

"Him? Oh, that's Neville Park. A new friend of mine." I said as we walk towards his car.

"Feb, how many times do I have to tell you not to befriend someone that easily? You might get taken advantage of. You are a girl, you should be more careful of the people around you." He scolded me using his serious voice.

I placed my left hand on his waist slightly hugging him. "Trust me on this one, okay? I know medyo clumsy ako but I'm a good judge of character. I promise I would not do anything that might put me in a potential danger." I told him and I squeeze his side gently. I grabbed my phone because it suddenly beeped and Nonie (Vernon, it's the nickname I gave him) opened the door of the car for me.

~-~

Vernon's POV

Friend? I doubt that. I caught that Neville guy staring at Feb's back and I could say that it is not only friendship that he wants from her. After all, ever since we were young, I have always looked at Feb the same way. Masyado lang talaga siyang dense.

I was about to start the car when I noticed that she hasn't put her seatbelt on. I leaned closer to her. I could smell a sweet scent of strawberry. I could feel my heart beat faster due to this close contact. I steal a glance at Feb. Funny how she wasn't even affected by my presence. It is only I who feels this way. She didn't even react when I came close to her. For her, I am just a brother whom she adores. Nothing more.

"Look Feb, hindi ka na naman nag-seatbelt." I scolded her once again. Like a concerned 'brother'. Lol.

"I don't have to, do I? I know you'll do it for me. You love me after all." She flashed a really adorable smile before me and then focused on the screen of her phone again.

Growing up with her, I had already received that exact same smile countless of times and yet I can't seem to get tired of it. It never fails to bring the same effect to me. While I now managed to successfully hide the sudden gush of blood whenever she's giving me that sweet smile, I wasn't successful on learning how to control the effect that it has on my heart.
I looked at the road ahead of me and then I started the engine.

'Yes, Feb. I love you. So much. So damn much that I might have crossed the line of brotherly love. But you don't know that, do you?' I sighed.

It was just a short drive from the coffee shop to our condominium building. Feb and I or more like, our families (the Lopezes and the Ayalas) are friends with each other because of the long business partnership that they had. A month from now, we (I had to stop a year at school which was also recommended by Feb since I have to take care of my mental health during that time) will be college students so Feb decided that she would live alone so that she could be independent and for some reason, even if she's the most eligible candidate to be the heiress of the Lopez group, they allowed her to be away from home. As for me, I just followed her here so that I would be able to ensure that she's always safe. We share the same floor but different units just beside each other.

"Feb, you didn't forget our movie date today, do you?"

"Of course I did not. It's the reason why I texted you to pick me up in the coffee shop. Let me just change my clothes. You can choose whatever movie you want." Feb said before going inside her flat.

~-~

"Love, Rosie! That was such a nice choice of movie!", Feb said as she sits in the couch and scoots beside me.

"Always the tone of surprise. Don't you trust my movie taste?" I teasingly asked her, pretending that I was hurt.

"Parang tanga 'to. Hindi, kasi matagal ko nang gustong panoorin 'yan because I thought the trailer was really nice, kaso alam mo naman, masyado maraming ganap sa buhay ko."

"I know, I was just kidding." I chuckled. "You and your busy ass."

"Well at least I always find time to spend with my whiny best friend, right? And also, hindi ba sinabi ko sa 'yo, you should always smile. Lagi na lang poker face 'yang mukha mo. You don't get to have other friends tuloy.

"Whatever Feb. Eyes on the screen." I told her as I got the remote and played the movie.

'I don't need other friends Feb. As long as I have you. They'll just judge me anyway. I've had enough of that.'

~-~

[Flashback]

"Don't you ever dare leave this room Vernon. The Lopezes will arrive any minute from now so I expect you cooperate since it's the least you could do to pay back our generosity of giving you shelter."

I just blankly nodded so they would leave me in my room. I don't even know why they have to remind me of that when I have always been invisible in this house. I...I was sheltered but never once have I felt loved.

Everyday was an endless struggle of living even if I'm already dead inside. It was as if breathing was just my sole reminder that I'm still alive.

'You should have never existed in the first place.'

'They despise you.'

'Nobody would notice even if you would disappear.'

'Die'

'Die'

'Die'

'Die'

'Die'

I was nine when I had the courage to end it all once and for all. You see, I was hurting myself whenever I tend to have these episodes. I was always hurting myself, but the funny thing is, I'm afraid to die. I was only doing that because physical pain is more bearable than listening to all those voices. Emotional pain is harder to heal and since I am now certain that it would be impossible for me to be healed from all these, I decided that I would do them a favor and disappear from their lives forever.

And so, I got up from my bed and I reached for the rope that I was hiding under my bed. I was busy setting things up, when I heard someone entered my room. It was a little girl holding a frog stuffed toy.