''YOU WHAT?'' Tay screamed as she almost choked on her soup. I went to see how she felt and brought her some of the soup my momma made, it did wonders.
''It was a kiss on the cheek'' I said, defense mode activated.
''Are you sure?''.
''Yes, I am one hundred percent sure. I would've remembered if I kissed Jeffrey Dean Morgan on the lips''.
''But like...he didn't say anything about it or something? Has he texted you today?'' Tay was really excited about Jeffrey and I hanging out all day the other day.
''No, he always had that smile on his face. He hasn't texted today though, maybe he didn't like the way I was last night, I don't know'' I shrugged my shoulders.
''I think he will, he is so nice to you. I think he likes you'' Tay smiled widely and clapped her hands. ''And you like him too'' she said before I could answer.
''Yeah, as a friend. He is a nice person'' I answered.
''Oh my god, Hazel. Stop lying to yourself'' she rolled her eyes, genuinely annoyed.
''I'm not. I don't like him that way, I don't care about all that stuff''. I felt like I was about to cry and didn't know why. I had no reason to.
''How many times are we going to talk about it? It's been so long, Hazel. It's been five years, not all men are like that, you know? I'm not forcing you to do anything, I just want you to realize that there is nothing wrong with letting yourself catch feelings for someone again. Your eyes literally sparkle when you talk about Jeffrey''. Oh for fuck's sake.
''No they don't. I've said it before and I'm going to say it forever: Jeffrey and I are just friends. Period'' I exclaimed as I headed towards the balcony and was met with a rush of air. Taking in a deep breath I felt a tear fall down my cheek and sighed. There was nothing to be sad about, why was I so upset? It wasn't me, it wasn't Hazel at all. I was strong and didn't give a shit about love.
''He's fucking calling you, Hazel'' I heard Tay yell from inside and I went in to see her holding my phone, Jeffrey's name on the screen.
''Hey'' I answered, trying to sound normal.
''Hey, doll. What are you doing? Am I bothering?'' he asked and I felt like melting for a second. Doll.
''No, not at all. I am with Tay, checking on her''.
''Tell her I said hi. I hope she's feeling better'' he took a pause before he continued. ''I just...uhm, wanted to say that I had a really good time yesterday. I haven't felt so good in years''. His voice was soft yet raspy and he sounded relaxed, content. The image I had in my mind was one of him laying on the sofa, phone in one hand, a Coke in the other. Meanwhile I looked like a mess, standing there in the middle of the room, hands trembling, feeling helpless because something was going on with me and I didn't want to accept what it was.
''I'm glad to hear. I had a lot of fun too'' I smiled as if he could see me. I then realized that I actually didn't know what else to say, which was a first. ''I'm also sorry if I was weird somehow'' my voice trembled and it made me sick to the stomach. I was never nervous to talk to a guy and I absolutely never apologized to anyone for the way I was.
''Nothing weird about you, trust me. Not in a negative way'' he giggled and my stomach felt like it was being tickled. I felt bubbly inside but it was surely because of something else. Whatever. ''Also...'' he paused a bit. ''...I would like to see you again some time soon''. Fuck. I could hear my own voice inside my head saying tell him no, tell him no, tell him no.
''Of course, I'm one text or call away''. I laughed weirdly and once again I felt sick to my stomach because of the way I reacted to him sometimes. Really, Hazel? How difficult could it be to say no?
''Phew, glad you don't find me annoying'' he joked. Ugh, never.
''Are you kidding? I would never, that's impossible'' I kept talking and I needed someone to stop me. Looking at Tay I saw her staring at me with big eyes and a stupid ass grin on her face. I was afraid to hang up knowing what would come after.
''Alright, Hazel, I'll let you do your thing. I'll talk to you later''.
''Have a good one, talk to you later'' I said before I hung up. Turning around, I saw Tay open her mouth so I put my hand up in the air and shushed her. ''Shut up. Nope. I don't want to hear anything. I'm going home before you have the chance to open your mouth'' I said as I hurriedly put on my shoes.
''Bitch, you're gonna fall for this guy and I'm here for it'' she said with a stupid smile on her face.
''I love you but right now I fucking hate you, byeee'' I said as I closed the door after me and left. She was going to terrorize me until the day I died.
On my way home I felt so desperate to take my mind off of everything that I texted Rob and told him to come over to...well, to fuck.
He did come over in the evening and we did have sex, but my stupid, stupid mind thought about Jeffrey during the whole sex session. I hated it. I didn't want any of that.
It was time to get my shit together again. No more soft Hazel.
