I turned around to leave but he grabbed my hand gently and I turned around again to face him. Please don't kiss me. ''Go on a date with me''. His face was serious and my stomach did flip flops as he kept eye contact, but I did my best to stay as neutral as possible. Him asking me out on a date meant that he liked me more than as a friend and I didn't really know what to do with that thought.
''I don't do dates'' I answered shortly. ''But we can hang out'' I smiled because I didn't want to come out as rude.
''You don't do dates, I see'' he spoke so low I could barely hear him. ''So it's better if I say let's go get some food and hang out?''.
''Yeah, I guess. Just no fancy restaurants, nothing like that. I just don't do dates. We can go play bowling or something. You name it. Anything but a date''.
''I see'' he looked down at his feet again and I didn't know what to do. I didn't want this moment to destroy our friendship, I didn't want to stop hanging out with Jeffrey. ''Anything but a date? Then come over to my place tomorrow. We can have wine, play something?''.
I thought about it for a second and because I didn't want to be a shitty person I said yes.
▪
I knocked on the door twice before he answered. As soon as he opened the door I could hear LA Guns from inside and I smiled; he had good taste in music.
''Welcome'' he said as I stepped inside. His apartment was gigantic and smelled like clean cotton, decor on point. ''You look beautiful'' he told me after closing the door.
''Thank you'' I responded. ''I brought chips''. Change the subject, Hazel, just do it all the time and everything's going to be fine.
''Cute. Let me grab a bowl. Wanna order pizza?''. I nodded and watched him walk to the kitchen, eyes on his ass for some reason. ''Pepperoni?'' he asked and I nodded once again. Placing the bowl of chips and two wine glasses on the table, he took a seat and invited me to do so too.
''You have a beautiful apartment''.
''Thank you, I love it here'' he poured us some wine. ''Here, let me show you the view from the balcony. I think it's the best part of it'' he grabbed my hand just like that and we went to the balcony. Every time our hands touched my skin felt different in a positive way; it was hard to describe. I gasped at the view, but what left me without air in my lungs was when I felt Jeffrey behind me, his body almost closing the gap between us. ''There, you see the moon?'' he leaned down to my height as he pointed at the beautiful full moon that seemed to be perfectly in the middle of two buildings, as if put there by hand. ''That's my favorite part every night''. His mouth was close to my ear, warm air tickling my neck.
''That looks like a painting'' I admired the view but I could barely concentrate on it as he kept being close to me. What was going on? I had to stop it all before it was too late. ''So...'' I stepped aside and turned around. ''...what's the plan for tonight? Video games?''.
''Yeah, if you want to'' we sat back on the sofa before Jeffrey grabbed two controllers from the sideboard.
''I'm kinda bad at video games so you have to teach me'' I laughed as I felt my face turn red. The actor came close to me, put his hands on mine as I held the controller and started explaining what each button did. I could honestly say that none of it got into my head because all I could think about was his warm, big hands on mine. His insanely comforting and sexy scent didn't help either. I could hear him speak but I didn't know what he said. Get your fucking shit together, Hazel.
''Are you with me, doll?'' he giggled in my ear. Doll. Call me doll one more time and I...I...
''Yeah. No. Sorry'' I laughed in embarrassment. ''Sorry, it's hard to concentrate''.
''Why? Look, there aren't too many buttons'' he started explaining again. God, he was so patient. I looked at him, ready to listen carefully, but our faces were so close that I almost lost it again. I needed an explanation on why half of me wanted to kiss him then and there. All at the same time, half of me wanted me to fight against that urge and get my shit together; I couldn't get soft again.
We played for a while until the pizza came and we ate so extremely much that I had to lay on the sofa because I literally couldn't move. ''Damn, I'm so full I need a nap'' I said as Jeffrey smiled at me from the chair next to the sofa.
''Come 'ere'' he motioned for me to come over and I looked at him with a question mark on my face. He motioned with his finger and although my mind kept repeating no over and over again, my legs were taking me towards him. ''I've been told I'm a good pillow'' his voice was soft and raspy at the same time and I was going crazy for some reason.
My legs found their way on each side of his and I sat on his lap, unable to get myself to move away from there, to leave. I had never been that close to him, heart beating in my chest so fast I thought I'd die. Friends did that, didn't they? Friends cuddled with each other. Tay and I did. It was fine.
''Now put your head here'' Jeffrey whispered, goosebumps all over my body. I laid my head on his chest and closed my eyes as he placed his manly hands on my back and held me. It was comforting, it felt like home, it felt good.
It felt so good that I panicked big time and got up, thoughts all over the place, heart pumping in my chest. I couldn't let myself do that. ''I think I have to go'' I said panicked.
''What's wrong, Hazel?'' he said, eyebrows furrowed. ''Did I do something?''.
''No'' I answered shortly.
''Then what is it? I thought you...you know''
''You thought I what?''
''I thought you liked me. All these mixed signals you're giving me, you know what I'm talking about''. God, his voice was so low and his eyes confused and I was going crazy.
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Someone had to wake me up. I couldn't catch feeling for anyone. I just couldn't.
