Waiting for the Sun

14. A Night To Remember

I could hardly open my eyes and when I did the bright light made it too painful for them to stay open. I gathered myself for a few seconds and then peeked under my eyelids. After a while the blurred edges of a room appeared. After a few more seconds I could open my eyes completely and saw that the room only had a dresser which was open and most of the clothes were on the floor and the bed I was in.

There were no windows, only a bright light bulb without a screen. Where the hell was I? Why was I so bloody cold? The room oozed of vomit and cheese pizza and I tried to breathe through my mouth. Damn my head was pounding. I remembered getting to Mike’s place, taking some pills, there were other people there and then… I tried to recall the rest but it only made my headache even more. Maybe I’d just passed out and someone brought me to the bedroom? If I just closed my eyes and tried to get some rest I would feel better. I turned over to the other side and nearly screamed. Who the fuck was this? He was pretty with dark blonde hair and tiny dimples but he had to be over thirty. We probably both passed out and… It was then I realised that we were both butt naked. No wonder I was cold.

I suddenly felt sick and sat up while I took deep breaths, trying to ignoring the stench. What had I bought from Mike? Had I even asked? And where were my clothes? I started to look around on the floor but couldn’t see them. Slowly I stood up on my wobbly legs and walked around to the other side of the bed. I thought I would find at least one piece of my clothing and not another naked man. This guy wasn’t pretty in any sense of the word and looked closer to my dad’s age than mine. Fuck, fuck. I felt the scream in my throat trying to get out but then I finally saw my t-shirt buried under a pair of trousers. My small victory made me feel a little less suicidal but my skirt was still missing.

     “Where you goin’ babe? You don’t wanna have some more fun?”

     The blonde guy had woken up and when he turned to face me I could tell that he was definitely ready for more ‘fun’. He looked at me like he would eat me up and I had never felt more naked.

     “I gotta go but eh.. I can’t find my skirt.”

     “Behind the dresser.”

     Thankfully it was there and I was nearly out the door when I remembered my purse. The guy seemed to read my mind because now he just smiled and pointed to the edge of the bed. The awkward position forced me to get a bit too close and before I knew it he had grabbed a hold of me and pulled me next to him. Under a wet kiss he mumbled: “Stay babe.” It brought back a flash of us making out on a leather sofa with his hands up my skirt. I pulled away, shook my head and he sighed but then let out a chuckle.

     “You crazy you know that?”

     When I got out in the hall I realised the party was still going strong with at least twenty intoxicated people in Mike’s living room but I couldn’t care less. I pushed through the people and stumbled my way to the entrance where I spent ten minutes looking for my shoes. When I was finally out the door I stood outside the house, thinking about where I actually was and where the hell I was going. Who the fuck were those guys?

As the breeze cleared my head I started to remember even though I didn’t want to. Flickers of me downing vodka, making out with the blonde guy on the bed, giving a hand job to the old guy while the other one was fucking me from behind, calling me his ‘dirty bitch’, and the other way around. My legs crumbled underneath me and I fell down hard on the cold pavement shaking. It was fairly warm for the season but the winds were still chilly. What was wrong with me?

After a few minutes a sound from my phone got me out of my trance. The time said 10:12 and also revealed a text from Joe. I know we’re not talking but tonight’s the night. Come. Several months ago Joe and his band had signed up for an open-mic night which was a huge thing in a tiny town. They were getting pretty good. Joe spent all his time rehearsing with the band and he said that with his guitar he could finally get out of here. I stared at the letters and then I scraped myself off the ground. I wanted to go home and smoke what was left of my stash and go to bed but something made me walk the opposite way. My skirt was on inside-out but luckily you didn’t notice if you weren’t standing too close. Was I really doing this? I thought about taking the bus but the chilly air appeared to clear my head in a good way now. When I was outside the town hall half an hour later I couldn’t make myself go inside. Why was I here? I certainly didn’t want to see Kit who always was with Joe nowadays I guessed. The panic struck again but still I decided to walk in. The rock music blasting and the crowd jumping around was too much and I managed to get myself into a corner where I could breath. I started looking around for at least one familiar face and sadly I found it. Tracy and Sam were standing a few feet away looking more in love than ever in each other’s arms just the way I’d left them. Their bodies were swaying to the music that had now turned into a row of ballads. I couldn’t help but stare and it didn’t take long before she noticed me. She didn’t move, she didn’t scream, she didn’t make a face, she didn’t punch me. She simply stared at me and I stared back. Then Joe was there. He touched my arm and when I saw his familiar face something snapped inside.