Child Of The Future

Episode 15: Something To Forget

               I practically swatted Carl's hand like it was an oversized fly trying to land on me. He didn't bother to rub it because of the sting. He just retreated his knuckles and gave me a last glance before leaving me to get up by myself.

               He thinks he can touch me after what he just did? Like, lifting me up off the ground and doing who knows what?! What got into him? I know he probably thinks that he can control my temper but he's wrong. I won't be controlled by anyone.

               Not anymore. My father's had his fun doing just that my whole life. I'm not about to let some jerk physically force me to do something when he has no right whatsoever and has already burned whatever bridges we were starting to build towards a friendship that was stupid anyway.

               "Somethin' goin' on I need to know about?" Rick begins with the leadership role.

               "Sp-"

               "No!" I frown, cutting Carl's attempt to explain my disappearance short which gets me a few looks from the group. Pretty much all of them saying, 'Gosh does she ever lighten up?' or 'She's such an annoying b1tch'.

               Ok. They're not really looking at me like that but, they do look pretty fvcking tired of me. The only reason they're actually allowing me to stay, is, Jesse's theories not mine, is that they either think I'll go off and bring back trouble to reign down on all their as$es, my words not Jesse's, or, second possibility, they either do or don't believe me about everything I told them, but they still don't mind me hanging with them either way, or, last, they believe me or are thinking about it, and are keeping me around in case they want to elect to escort me to D.C. themselves instead of just me and my first civilized friend trailing off on our lonesome.

               Even Jesse thinks we'd have way better odds of getting me there with these people than by ourselves. I have my doubts, but that's obviously influenced by the fact I don't feel welcome at all with this giant group of strangers.

               Jesse seems to be blending all right. First steps are always extending yourself to make relationships, and sooner or later, it's just natural for, say Carol to call to him for help, or Glenn to start up a conversation, he's paired off with anyone who needs someone to back them up in checking out a house, etc...

               Me? Nothing.

               Aside from feeling like a minor outcast, the familiarity of being examined and studied till a decision is made, this group is slow, and cautious. I can accept that they've been through some stuff, who even knows what, but, fvck it's driving me crazy to just be stuck in the middle of not knowing where my fate lies.

               Always taking my time, dragging my feet, wondering what Rick's thinking. Wondering what most all of them are thinking. I've seen the constant, back and forth between Abraham and other members of the group.

               It's pretty hard to miss. He's got opinions. Urging them all to listen and consider.

               "We're gonna have to find a place today. Snow'll start to drop before long. Maybe even this week." Daryl's rough voice graciously slides the attention away from me and towards our 'urgent' and 'possibly dire' situation to himself. Well, it must be dire for the baby anyway. At least it's in good hands. Maggie's been like a mom to it from what I've seen. I'm not sure if that's because she's insane or because it's helping her fend off insanity.

               To be honest, the last 5 years of my life, the only contact with frigid temperatures, besides Carl's recent attitude, and the first few seconds of morning showers, was drinks and ice. I wouldn't know anything about running for shelter like a cockroach, which these people have apparently gotten used to.