Child Of The Future

Episode 19: Feelings

               "Well, isn't doing it once enough? What's so great about orgasming?" I scoff and play off Estela's dedication to sex by downgrading something I've never felt before.

               "Oh Spes. Innocent, virgin, Spes. If you flipped the bean one day, you'd understand." She giggles and I don't even bother glaring at her for using such weird innuendos or whatever in my presence, instead, I grab a cloth and bring some extra shine to my sword, thinking that, sex, it can't be that addictive.

               Not as addictive as Estela makes it out to be. Not as continuous as all the women that warm my father's bed at night whenever he decides to put his test tubes in a fridge.

               I'd rarely ever wonder about it, but sometimes I'd become curious.

               What is it that's so hungry in people's bodies that...they constantly crave, and never get bored with sex? What must it feel like? Is it like a mood? That's what I gather.

               Always being in love, and sometimes falling into a state of sexual need for that person?

               I wonder, what it feels like. Description of it.

               I've never asked Estela for the main purpose that, I never wanted her to touch that part of my learning. I don't know why I cared to keep it sheltered for finding out one day by myself when it was one of the farthest things from my mind, but it's just...

               Something I always wondered about.

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               The restlessness is like a tease. The first step. It doesn't go away unless you really want it to. Unless you distract yourself. And then, it's only a matter of touch.

               It becomes hard to think about anything, except for one single fantasy. One reality, one idea...anything. It's so powerful, the thought of Carl.

               The sound of him whining in pleasure without even being conscious.

               "Oh..." I drag out a silent moan that's mostly covered up by the rain.

               I can't help how my body feels like it's burning, like my body is being flooded with ecstasy induced chemicals that start from my sensitive spot, a simple wet stroke which is so strong, so indescribably fulfilling, that it shakes and moves my entire anatomy.

               It feels hot, and I'm sure I'm sweating even if it's cold rain splashing onto my long wavy hair, my waist is following the direction of my chest, bending back a bit, while I try to reach something that I just know is waiting for me, my teeth biting into my lower lip, a quick taste of blood leaking into my mouth from my canine puncturing my skin at the imagine of Carl blushing and the thought of him doing the same thing, by himself, somewhere.

               5 years of growing up, knowing what sex is, being a guy?

               I'm sure he's done it. I'm sure he's felt this way.

               Sh1t.

               I wanted to know what this felt like, just wondered, that's it. Just a simple one time curiosity that was stirred up because of Carl. I'm trying to understand, savor it, really get what the fuss is about, but the feeling, it's like an ache, except it feels good, especially when I think about Carl, and I can't stop myself from hurrying to finish this.