As You Wish Upon the Stars [ON HOLD]

[008]

Things were alright before it happened.

Or so I thought.

You won't really know when someone dear to your heart leaves you. It was unexpected—a sudden turn of fate. I should've said all the things I wanted to say to mom on the night we last shared together. If I only knew.

After I heard the news, all I know is that my mom died because of a car crash. I don't know if there was someone behind it or not. I didn't read the whole article. I don't want to find someone to blame on the cause of my mom's death because she knows my habit to put someone at fault especially if what they did hurt me emotionally.

That's the last favor that I will do for my mom, to be forgiving.

I decided to leave social media to avoid meddling with the press. I also asked my dad to switch my learning methods to home schooling immediately. I don't like to talk to anyone right now. I'm longing for her.

A month has passed and the memory is still fresh to me. It seems like it happened yesterday.

My mom was always there for me. She would always stay by my side until I fall asleep on a stormy night. In her I found comfort and peace—she was my haven and she will always be my safe haven.

I'm currently writing an endless letter. A compilation of my unsaid thoughts to my mom.

Tonight will be a full moon. Plano kong pumunta mamaya sa paborito naming puntahan. I wasn't there on her funeral. I want to be alone, for now.

"Are your things ready, Lyrica?" tanong ni daddy.

"Since last week." sagot ko habang patuloy na nagsusulat.

"I'm going to transfer your things to the car now. Let's go when you're already done with what your doing."

"I'm sorry, Lyrica." dagdag pa ni daddy.

Napatigil naman ako sa pagsusulat dahil namuo ang mga luha sa mata ko.

"How many times do I have to tell you to stop apologizing? Dad! Walang may kasalanan!" iyak ko.

Ayokong tignan si daddy. He always think na siya 'yung may kasalanan. I can't comfort him now because I'm also trying to build myself up.

"Oh my gosh! My letters!" sigaw ko nang makita kong nagiging blurry na ang mga salitang sinulat ko.

Kalma, Lyrica. Kalma.

I'll continue writing my letters once I'm fully calm. And I think it won't be now.

"Dad, let's go."

Niligpit ko na ang mga letters at siningit sa journal ko. Narinig ko namang sinarado na ni daddy ang pintuan.

We'll be going to my Nanang's house. I'll be staying there until summer ends. Tahimik doon at malapit din ang stargazing spot namin doon, so I'll be bringing my bike para hindi na ako maglalakad papunta doon.

For the last time, chineck ko kung kumpleto ang mga dala kong gamit sa backpack ko.

It's all set.

Tumayo na ako at sinuot na sa likod ang backpack ko. Binuksan ko na ang pinto at tinitigan sandali ang kwarto ko bago isarado ang pinto.

I used to sleep with my mom on that bed. We would also gaze upon the night sky every time a meteor shower occurs and wish until we get tired.

My mom used to teach me some of the lessons I can't understand on that study table.

She also used to plan my outfits for some days and those were my best fits. I got my sense of fashion from her.

Namuo ang mga luha ko habang tinatandaan ang mga memories namin ni mommy sa kwarto ko. Pinunasan ko na ito bago pa ako humagulgol ulit.