With You // J.G

Chapter 13

Jack's POV

I'm such an idiot. How could I let Kate in? I should've known she would say something to Gabrielle. I regret everything I've ever thought or said about her. Everything makes sense. All she needed was someone to care. All she needed was someone to look her in the eyes and tell her that they're here for her. I could've done that, but I didn't and I regret that.

"What the fuck Kate?!" I scream as she's laughing.

"What? You really do hate her," she says in a bitchy tone.

"No I don't. You hate her. And I really don't know why. You don't even know the first half of who she is."

"You don't either. It's not like she actually told you anything. She doesn't speak."

"You're such a bitch Kate. Get out." Her face goes from humorous to seriousness.

"You don't mean that Jack. You love me." She begins to walk towards me. Kate starts to pull me into a kiss. I really want to kiss her but I don't. I have an internal fight with myself.

Kiss her, you love her!

No you can't. She was a complete bitch to Gabrielle.

But she's so beautiful.

Gabrielle is beautiful. Maybe you love Gabrielle.

She hasn't even said one word to you. You can't love her!

But that feeling you had while holding her...

I mentally slap myself causing the voices to stop. I still love Kate but I can't date the Kate I just saw tear down an innocent girl.

"I hate you Kate. Leave!" Maybe the I hate you was a little exaggerated but it slipped out. I point to the door and then she walks out. I take a deep breath once she leaves. It feels like a huge weight was just lifted off of my shoulders but at the same time I feel my heart breaking.

Gabrielle's POV

I make my way into my bathroom and pull out my blades. I take the first pencil sharpener blade and the last one. What's the point? Maybe I should just end the pain. End everything. Instead of taking the blade to my wrist, I lift Jack's yellow shirt up and slice across my stomach. I pull the whole shirt off and I'm left in my only bra. I stare into the mirror in my bathroom. I hate myself. I hate everything about myself. I hate the way my ribs show. I hate the way my collarbones show. I hate my hair. I hate my eyes. I hate the creases in my neck. I hate my personality. I hate the person I have become. I cut my stomach a few more times with the two different blades. The blood slowly runs down my stomach.

All of a sudden, my knees buckle beneath me. I fall to the ground and I slam my head onto the ground. I wish someone was here with me. Someone who cares.
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The next day is the last day before winter break. I wish I died last night. What the fuck will I do for a week? I can't go to the mall everyday...

Christmas is the one day that I hate. I just want to sleep through all of Christmas. Everyone comes to school bragging about what they got. They play top that present while I always hide my present which is usually a new bruise, cut or broken arm.
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Once again, Jack picks me up. Fuck. I'm wearing his shirt. I get into the passenger's seat and instantly look out the window.

"Gabrielle..." his voice trails off. I don't want anything to do with him now. I can't even imagine what else he could have said. All I want is to die right here right now so he would feel responsible. I just want to disappear right now.

"I'm sorry," he says. Yeah right. He's not sorry. He doesn't care. I shake my head. He stares into spaces, speechless. Does he think that we can just become friends again because he apologizes? It's not that easy.