With You // J.G

Chapter 18

Gabrielle's POV

I hear voices in the same room as me. My eyes are too heavy to even open.

"I'll tell her," a deep voice says. I know it belongs to Jack.

"No, Jack. I will." Jack's mom? Why'd they both come and what do they need to tell me? It takes everything in my system to open my eyes. Turns out, I was right. Jack is standing at the foot of my bed talking to his mom who is standing closer to the side of my bed. I clear my throat as a sign that I'm awake and listening to them. Jack's mom walks over to me.

"How are you feeling?" she asks. I give a thumbs in the middle. To be honest, I'm feeling like crap, as usual.

"Well Jack told me that your parents are gone for a while. Is that right?" I stare at him. He mouths the words Say yes to me. I furrow my eyebrows at him. Then, I quickly nod.

"Well since you're getting out of the hospital today, we want you to stay with us. We can take care of you until your parents get home." I quickly shake my head. She shoots me a look of confusion. I point to Jack. Well, his phone. He quickly throws it to me and I catch it with my right hand. These white bandages are really annoying me. I just want to rip them off. They're already wet from the sweat and blood. It feels gross.

I quickly type.

I'm fine. Thank you. I can take care of myself.

I show the screen to her.

"No but I insist! We have a guest room that you can stay in." I try to think of an excuse, but I can't. I slowly nod.

"Good!" she claps her hands together once. "We can stop by your house so you can pick up some clothes and what not." I look at Jack. We can't go back to my house. I don't ever want to go back to my house. But I need my school things. Ugh fuck.

"Mom, I can just stop by her house later."

"No you're not. Your license is gone for three months." What? Why? What happened?

"Just one time."

"Okay but you better be back at the time I tell you." Jack holds his hands up in surrender and then agrees. I get dressed in my clothes that I came here in. Which was the yellow t-shirt that Jack gave me and then slipped on the black shorts. It's winter so I was pretty much freezing my ass off. I sit in the back seat of the car while Jack sits in the passenger seat.

We get to the familiar mansion. Jack leads me back to the guest room and it's beautiful. It's better than anything I could have ever dreamed. The walls are painted a tan-ish color. There is a big lounging couch in the left corner of the room and in the right corner there is a queen sized bed. The closet is a huge walk in closet.

"You like it?" Jack snaps me out of the daze I was in. I nod. I sit on the edge of the bed and look around the room again. Jack takes a seat next to me.

"About the party..." his voice trails off. I scoot away from him and then walk to the other side of the room. I'm still afraid of him and the fact that I'm staying in the same house as him for, who knows how long, makes me even more scared.

"I remember what I did and I regret it. I'm so sorry for doing that to you. Please forgive me. I love-" he pauses and shakes off what he was about to say. "I meant, I hate the fact that I did that to you." How could he say the word love instead of hate? I'm not afraid of what he did when he was drunk! Can't he see that? I'm mentally screaming at him right now. How can he be so clueless? He walks towards me.

"P-please get o-out." I back up and point to the door. I can tell Jack is surprised I spoke but he also seems regretful. He doesn't know what he did and even if he knew, he wouldn't understand. I check the high-tech clock on the nightstand and it's 4:36 pm, two days after Christmas. I'm allowed to take my bandages off at 8:00 tonight but if my wrists start bleeding again, I have to put on new bandages.

I plop onto the bed. It feels so soft and fluffy. It's been too long since I've been in a bed. I almost forgot how comfortable they are. The pillow feels as if it's a cloud and the blankets are layered like a sandwich. I wish I could just have a normal bedroom, normal parents and a normal life. Too bad wishes don't come true. If they did, I'd be dead by now.

The sad thing is, I would rather be dead than have a normal family and normal life. I'd rather hurt myself than be hugged by someone who claims that they love me. The reason for that is because no one could ever love me. Everyone who "loved" me left. They're lying. I don't trust anyone. I'm stuck in my own little box full of darkness and hate. I can't love. I can't care. Everything hurts less when you don't get attatched; also, when you don't care.

That whole, pain demands to be felt shit is a lie. Pain doesn't demand to be felt. You let it take over you. You have the power to stop it. I've learned to stop the pain. The way to stop the pain is to not care and to not love. No one can hurt you that way. And if they do, it won't hurt because you don't care.

I pull out my notepad that is still in the pocket of my shorts. I search the whole room for something to write with and I find a red pen on the desk. I've been working on a poem for a while. I didn't finish it yet. It sort of represents my life. Well school life at least. I don't like to write about my parents. They don't deserve to be written about. I'd be doing them a deed if I wrote about them.

She walks down the hallway.
She keeps her head low all day.
Everyone seems to laugh as she passes.
Something was falling off her face, it was her glasses.

Sitting in the back of the room isn't so bad.
Scribbling words down onto her notepad.
Little do they know, she's drowning in the words she writes.
She always seems to turn off the lights.

When she gets home, she'd cry.
Hoping one day she could fly,
Away from all the wrong things in life,
While she wishes to die.

The silence in her room is deafening,
She just wants to be venting.
No one is there though.
It's not like they'd show.

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~A/N: Hey sorry I've been gone for so long! Hope u guys liked this chapter👍 Don't forget to check out bballgurl26 's fanfic! Haha the poem that Gabrielle's writing is actually a poem that I wrote for english extra credit😂 What do you guys think?

Please check out my story "Constantly" it would mean a lot!