Imperfect

19

Half a month later...

My life has been so different. Every day seems exciting, challenging and sweet. The word dangerous has been replaced by the word sweet from the day I fell for Alec.

Two days ago Alec bought some alcohol. God, I was so pissed off. He can't just keep drinking. He is so young.
I had two choices. One, stop him and two, be like him. I chose the second one. I sat next to him and I drank half a bottle. He tried stopping me but I didn't. Both of us knew how harmful it can be for a person who is already dying.

I'm already dying, right? Why don't I live until then? I want to do everything. Even if it's harmful. There is nothing wrong in it.

Well, we had to do another important thing. We had to make an answer for "what in the world happened with Carter?". I guess we made one.
Alec went to Bryan and Shaun, he told them that I killed Carter when he was chasing me that night.

I've been going through some minor problems, which I can't tell him. Sometimes, my head starts spinning. So I just lie on the bed so that he doesn't get to know. I still think I'm a one huge burden on him. But he is still getting a habit of me. I don't understand why. What will he do without me?
Well, he always says that he will never live without me. When I ask how, he never answers.

"Harmony, pass me the cigarette" he said, breaking me from my thoughts. Yeah he is being smoking from sometime. I can't just stop him from doing everything all the time.
But that's not the problem right now. I can't see anything clearly, my head is spinning and the cigarette is kept next to a chalk piece. Both look very similar to each other. If I pick up the wrong one, he will get to know that I'm having some problem.

I picked up the one which is kept on the right. I'm don't know if that was a cigarette or not.
I started walking towards Alec to hand him the cigarette when I realised it's too hard for being a cigarette. Shit! It's the chalk. I stopped.

"What happened? Harm, stop acting" he knows me too well. "You think I'm a fucking fool? I wouldn't be knowing that my tumor head has some problem?" Ha-ha very funny. Calling me a tumor head in such a serious situation is not funny.

I sat on the bed. Looking away from him.
"I'm dying. No one in the hell world can change that fact. I'll be going to a place from which, no one ever returns" I said.

"I don't fucking care. I already said you that I will never live without you Harm" he stood up and grabbed the cigarette himself.

He taught me to live with the truth. I don't ever have to regret my cancer. I don't have any problem even if I'm reminded over and over about me being dead.
Life is too short, it will be over before you will realise it.

"Harm, come here" he sat on the bed. I walked towards him and he made me sit next to him.
"I don't have anybody in my life. No family, no friends, no girlfriend or anything else. I just have you. You are the only one I have. I don't know what will I do after you. I can't see you like this, vomiting, fainting and dying infront of me. I love you the most in this world" his were eyes filled with tears. I raised my hands to wipe his tears.
No, doesn't have any rights to cry or to feel weak. Im the only one who can do such things. It's not the time for him to feel weak. Who will take care of me?

Ugh! That's the reason I didn't want him to know anything about my disease.
"I don't want you to get attached to me Alec. I don't want to stop you from getting things which someone else can give to you better than me. Someone who is normal and will live with you throughout your life. You have to live for 200 years right?" I chuckled. " So I don't want you to end your life with mine".
I wiped his face with my hands and I lifted his face up to look into my eyes. His eyes are like a deep ocean of drugs. I can dive into them and never come out. And keep craving for more and more. His tears are so rare. His red nose with his tearing eyes looks so sorrowful but, divine. God! How can someone look good all the time in all the expressions?

My heart started beating faster when his white face came down to me. He knew that whenever I kiss him, I'm totally into his unutterable world.
With the touch of his lips, I blossom like a flower.

The tip of his fingers were stroking up and down my hands. I was enjoying his touch with total ecstasy.
"Banana head" he whispered with a chuckle.
I punched him hard on his stomach for ruining this moment.
"Dickhead!" I rolled my eyes as his laughter filled the room.