When They have Heart and Money

I Wasn't Gone

Amidst the ruckus and ramble of those whooshing wheels, I noticed a certain model passing by for the sixth time. It caught my eye since it looked so.. sleek. There weren't any logos I could manage to recognise but a name plate which I didn't bother to read as it passed by swiftly. Though, I noticed a structure, somewhat a B with wings at the front of the car.

Mysterious.

I decided to ignore it as soon as it disappeared from my view, just like it had before.

I had finally made it to my home after walking a mile and a half. The hollowness of the street haunting me and the emptiness of the home mocking me. It felt so cold.

My legs hurt so much after a long walk and a busy day. A day, which didn't seem good at all. A day where I had to clean love beds of strangers and beer bottles kissed by unknown hands. Not to mention the stench of it which I wasn't very fond of.

Just like that, I began to give up as tears rolled out, letting the weight in my chest lighten. I was tired. I was unhappy with my life. With work. With no one to look after me. I took this moment to complain about the shortcomings of my life to myself.

After crying for about twenty minutes, I dozed off to my bed without bothering to eat or change.

The next morning I woke up as usual with my alarm blaring off but a splitting headache accompanied me as I opened my eyes. Heaving a sigh, I got off my bed and walked in the bathroom. I came out damp 20 minutes later and prepared my breakfast. The weather was oddly chilled.

A hot glass of milk along with some cookies. Perfect.

I finished in time and walked out, feeling the cold wind igniting the goosebumps on my body. I reached the hotel in time. The place was less pervaded than usual. I walked inside to the designated room to get my supplies for cleaning and became almost as sad as last night when I came to know that Phoebe had her day off. I was handed over the list of rooms to be cleaned by the same petite woman whose name I didn't remember.

"12th floor.. Room 1234, Room 1237
17th floor.. Room...."

I took a look at the list and trodded off. There was no one around the lift. Or in it as it opened.

You can do this Asteria. You're not weak.

Breathe. Breathe.

Get inside.. You can-

A man walked past me inside the lift, looking back at me contemplating whether I was going to walk inside or stick to my standing position.

No way!

I turned around, indicating I wasn't interested in going inside and walked to the next lift.

*Sigh*

You can do this.

Just once. Try it for once.

Try.

Try.

The lift opened. Empty.

Yes!

My chance!

Walk in.

Closing my eyes, I gradually began to drag myself in. My heart knew that I was walking into that doomed. The inside of my mouth churned.

Before I could even step in, the anxiety gave in its best, making me open my eyes before I could even get inside.

Cool.

How long are you going to be a coward?

The inner me answered, probably forever. I felt like smacking my head right then, muttering cusses to myself.