bulletproof [riot×tank]

chapter 18 - losing touch to reality

When I woke up, I just stared straight ahead for a few minutes. It wasn't very bright in the room I was lying in, which somehow matched my mood.
Surprisingly, nothing hurt me at all. My cheek was swollen but that was probably due to the blow I had received when I was arrested and not because of Tank.
I closed my eyes, but I immediately saw Tank laughing at me. I sniffed quietly.

"Riot?"
I flinched and quickly straightened up. I immediately retreated to the corner where I was lying and tried to see something in the light.
Tank was on the other side of the room on his back and had turned his head towards me.
His hair hung in his forehead and he breathed irregularly.
I couldn't say anything.
Didn't do anything. I just stared at him. I don't know how long we've been looking at each other. My brain was running at full speed and I lost track of time.
Then Tank tried to straighten up slowly. He moaned softly as he finally sat upright. His shoulder was covered, but the white bandage was already half red.

I began to shake my head gently.
"What happened..." I rather asked myself the question and tried to get my eyes to stop seeing everything twice. Tank seemed dizzy.
"They hurt you", he muttered quietly without looking at me.
"Is this real?"
Something in his voice made my fear diminish.
His eyes rolled back and he fell back on the ground.
"Tank!" He was hurt and confused. More than I was. Out of reflex, I quickly moved towards him and brushed his hair out of his face.
He breathed heavily and looked at me like he couldn't believe his eyes.
"Hey... what happened?" I repeated my question and raised his upper body.
He seemed different from the last time.
Less threatening.
Much weaker. Like another person.
He blinked and held on to me before his head fell limp onto my chest.
"It's my fault. I'm sorry"
I didn't understand anything.
I carefully but hesitantly buried my hand in his hair to give him hold. As if by itself, his hands were more firmly wrapped around my shoulders and an exhausted moan came over his lips. I briefly closed my eyes and felt only his warmth, his heartbeat and nothing else.

Tanks hand wandered up my neck after a short while and cupped my face. I immediately retreated and felt guilty.
"Riot..." Tank whispered again with his weak voice. I wondered when he had been drinking for the last time, that's how dry he sounded.
"Hi" I muttered softly and looked down at him. He raised his head and straightened up a bit to look into my eyes.
I swallowed. His hair was stranded and sweaty. His green eyes were reddened and had huge shadows under them.  But the worst part was that they were full of fear.
"Hi", I repeated with a firmer voice and tried to smile. The hand on my cheek felt wrong and caused a slight panic in me. But I tried to stay calm.

"You're here..." He sounded as if he had awakened from anesthesia or been snatched from deep sleep.
"Yes... Yes I am"
His eyes drifted off briefly before he tilted off sideways.
"Hey hey hey, Tank?" I gently raised him up again.
"What happened, sunshine?" I stroked his hair back without paying attention to what I was saying and looked testing in his eyes. His pupils were huge.
"What the fuck did they give you?" I gently stroked his cheek. It was much clearer to see than the cheek of the other Tank. His skin was adorned with small wounds and his shoulder was actually shot.
I breathed in trembling. It couldn't be the same person who...
"Everything" replied Tank muffled.

He briefly pushed himself away from me and stroked my arms down to my wrists. He blinked multiple times to stay focused. He pulled up my sleeves and turned my arms like he was looking for something. But he couldn't find anything but the old scars. He put my wrists in his lap and stared at me.
"Everything okay?" I asked insecurely. My head was pounding.
"No... yes... you-" He squeezed my hand and then snak back into my arms.
"I told them" It came muffled from him.
"What?" I asked quietly.
Something was different after he looked at my arms. He didn't feel so strange anymore.
"What did you tell them?" I put my hands around his face and raised it to look him in the eyes.
"Tankie? Talk to me. Please!"
He had closed his eyes and seemed to be able to think more clearly now.
"Who I am. And... about Anonymous. I told them everything I know."
He shook his head as if he were disappointed in himself.
"That's... well... unfavorable. But we can fix it, okay?" I tried to calm him down. He looked at me briefly doubting.
"Fuck" he hissed and hid his face behind his hands.
"I-I... they've hurt you and haven't stopped and-" He looked at me with teary eyes.
"Hey... Look at me" I raised my wrists as proof.
Tanks eyes twitched briefly to them but he didn't seem convinced.
"I'm fine. They... didn't hurt me" At least not the way you think. "It's all right. Better worry about yourself."

I nodded to his shoulder. Tank followed my look.
"It just didn't hurt so much" He sighed.
"I don't understand that. I... they said they'd torture you, too. I thought they meant what I was looking at, but... then I was... another I was the one who... it... I saw it, for sure" I frowned.
"I... I'm really fine" I muttered and didn't look him in the eyes.
"I thought you were dead" I admitted after a short while. My voice trembled.
"What?" He sounded surprised. "I was shot in the shoulder."
I nodded.
"You... collapsed and... that's not norm-"
All of a sudden, I got it. My eyes widened.
"Oh, shit."
"What?" Tank looked around frantically. "What's wrong?"
"They drugged us" I muttered.
"Uhm.... What?" Tank looked at me in disbelief.
"We were hallucinating" Tank kept looking at me stunned.
"Think about it. It all makes sense. I don't have any injuries, and you don't have a doppelganger. These were just hallucinations"

Tank shook his head slightly.
"But how could they control the hallucinations so that we were really... well, hurt?" I frowned.
"Good argument"
"Unless..." Tank bit his bottom lip before he spoke further.
"The drugs were just a form of protection."
I looked at him confused. (I wish I could put ??? into words)
"Well...there are so many ways to show something that isn't there. Holograms, greenscreen, masks, drugs..." I stared at him, that's all I could do.
"Do you think they prepared holograms before and then drugged us so we wouldn't notice any small discrepancies?"
"Yes. Maybe. I don't know. But we know better what each other looks like, even without clothes. Without drugs, we would have noticed mistakes much sooner."

I turned a little red and quickly looked away.
I remembered very weakly when Fake-Tank had lifted his arm and his shirt slid up I hadn't seen an Anonymous tattoo on his hip. I had been disturbed by something in this picture from the beginning, but I had never thought of what was wrong with it.
"You're right", I whispered, and slowly the tension dropped from me.
"Of course I'm right. I'm right in ninety-nine percent of the cases." He grinned lightly and I had to smile.
But then I got sick. I had really believed Tank would have lied the whole time and-

"I'm so sorry"
"What-woah... hey, is everything okay, darling?" Tank sounded worried when I put my arms around him and pulled him towards me. I nodded weakly and then shook my head.
They were trying to turn us against each other, and I fell for it.
"Hey..." His soft voice drove tears into my eyes.
"What's going on?"
"I-I thought... I did... My torture was that you never-...we both...god I'm so stupid"
I felt Tank freeze for a moment when he realized what I was talking about and then pull me even closer.
"No, you're not. It wasn't real. I'm here now. I'm real, okay?" I wiped over my eyes and detached myself from him.
"What if it's just a hologram again?" Tank shook his head.
"No, it's real. I'm much too relieved for this to be a trick." I smiled. He was right.
"I would never hurt you, darling" I lowered my head and nodded timidly. Tank lifted my chin and smiled slightly.
"May I kiss you?" I got lost in his eyes for a second. Then I nodded and already closed my eyes before he kissed me. I sighed in relief and gently kissed back.
He took my face into his hands and for this little moment everything was perfect.

Of course I noticed how he flinched when he moved his body. How weak his arms were compared to the rest and how exhausted he was.
I also noticed how something in me frightened back from him and the kiss and wanted to run away. How I had a hell of a headache myself and was on the verge of a panic attack.
But he lived, he was with me, he was him.
He gave me a kiss on my forehead before whispering softly in my ear: "We're real. I promise"
I got goose bumps and buried my face in his neck.

I was about to answer him when someone started clapping. We flinched apart.
A figure leaned against the door (When the hell was it opened?) and giggled softly.
Tank took my hand and squeezed it. I felt his fear.
The figure stood against the light and we could not see more than a black shadow.
"You guys are smart. Really, really smart" We knew the voice. Of course we did.
My hand cramped and my heart started racing as the boy stepped so close that we could see his face for the first time since we met him.
"Didn't expect anything else from you"
Tank snorted and laughed joylessly.
"Thank you for trusting us, Faceless."

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Sorry for the late update.
Hope you like it :)
Have a nice day <3

~anon