bulletproof [riot×tank]

chapter 12 - goodbye darling

Tank:

"Tank?"
"Wake up" Riot shook my shoulders as I persisted in squeezing my eyes together. Maybe he’d just stop and go on to sleep.
"Come on! I know you’re awake"
I moaned and turned to him.
"Riot, it’s in the middle of the night. There are people who need their beauty sleep"
Riot glowed at me.
"You don't, Sleeping Beauty. The others are already awake"
"This is their problem" I pressed the pillow over my head to protect my eyes from the sun in the room. "Let me sleep"
"Nope" He pulled the pillow off and I stared at him with a look that was usually reserved for people who made pineapple on pizza (the worst of all sins).
"It’s half past seven in the morning"
"Yes, I know" The mattress squeaked when Riot got up. "I’ve overslept"
"You- overslept? What is wrong with you?“
"I like you, so way too much" he joked and bowed to me to give me a kiss.
"I hate you" I murmured.
"Don’t be so grumpy, sunshine"

"The flourishing life" Scorpion noted as I sat down with a cup of coffee at his bed. I stared at him badly.
"As long as this one" I held up my cup.
"isn't at least half empty, don’t talk to me"
"Well you're clearly not twenty anymore....it shows"
"You know for someone who lies helplessly in bed, you’re pretty cheeky"
He smiled mockingly.
I was thinking about how inconspicuous it would be to throw him out the window. Before I could do something I regretted in the end, Riot came in and sat next to me.

"He’s mean to me" I complained and put my head on Riot’s shoulder. My eyes almost closed on their own. Until I realized that Riot might not find it so great if I made it so obvious to Scorp. I was just about to sit back as usual when Riot buried a hand in my hair. I smiled.
"I should become a prophet" Scorp laughed and smiled at us.
"Shut up" Riot and I said at the same time.

Scorpion was forced to stay in bed (very much to his lamentations) and was not allowed to go to any demonstrations.
After a week and a half he was allowed to visit us after a protest where he had first been scanned by Faceless.
He had explained to Scorp all the 100 ways he had devised to kill the police officer as slowly and painfully as possible.
Riot got a little nervous when Faceless went a little too much into detail.
We agreed that he had probably (hopefully) just watched too much Netflix.
Faceless quickly evolved into Scorp’s personal bodyguard, not leaving his side during the two hours he spent with us. He also insisted on escorting Scorpion home.
Maybe he had already planned the proposal, who knew that so for sure?

I had given Scorpion, Faceless and Riot my address so that they could escape to a house if something like what happened to Scorpion happened again and nobody was there.

A few days later, Riot and I were alone because Scorpion couldn't get out and Faceless didn't have time. Because there was not a single demonstration in our area, we actually had nothing to do and just walked through the streets without having a real goal. We didn't even had our gear with us.
Riot was weird. He seemed nervous and a little clingy. Not that I thought it was a little bad, but I was still worried.
"Everything okay?" I asked and looked at him worried. Riot held my hand and looked at me in surprise.
"Uhm... yeah... yeah... well-"
I stopped immediately.
"What's wrong?"

"Tankie... I have to tell you something"
Oh man. This had some really bad vibes. I got nervous and waited for him to continue.
"Okay...?"
"Uhm....I didn't tell you that... I actually moved from Maine to Washington a few months before George Floyd was... Well you know." I slowly nodded. I had no idea what he was talking about.
"And?"
"Anonymous has sent me... And... They need me back in Maine now. They say the work here is done for now"
I stared at him and couldn't force my mouth to say something.
"I have to go back"
I blinked. Maybe it was just a dream.
No it wasn't.
"But it's not over. I mean there are still protests and-"
"It's final" I closed my mouth.
"Oh"
"Yeah..." Riot looked away. He started to scratch his wrists again. I took his hands.
"When do you have to go?"
"Tomorrow morning"
I closed my eyes. Panic rose in me.
"F-For how long did you know?"
Riot shook his head and I knew I wouldn't like the answer.
"Five days"
"Five days..." My voice broke.
For a second I felt a sting in my heart. And them I became numb.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked.
"I-I just didn't want to... I wanted everything to feel normal and not like our last days together..." He tried to explain.
"I know I should've told you but I couldn't- I'm sorry."
Riot looked like he really regretted it. I lay a finger under his chin and made him look in my eyes.
"Hey... It's okay." No it wasn't.
"I know you're lying" He sighed and lay his forehead against my chest.
"I'm sorry" He mumbled again and I struggled to understand him.
"Do Facelsse and Scorpion know?"
"Yes... I... Told them yesterday. I wanted to tell you in person..."
"You'll... You'll see your family again" I tried to make him feel better.
"I know...but I-I won't see you... For a long t-time..." His voice was shaking.
"I don't want to go. I don't want to leave you"
I gently lay my hands around his neck and he looked in my eyes.
"I know, darling. I know.
We'll meet again... I promise" I said quietly and looked into his hazel eyes, saving every detail. I felt like I was getting the chance for the last time.

I looked down at him and wondered what he was thinking right now.
"I'm so sorry" He whispered. Tears shimmered in his eyes. He took a deep breath and looked down. Slowly he raised his hands and put them around mine.
For a moment, we both enjoyed the touch. Then he pushed them off his face.
My jaw was unintentionally tense.
I realized how hard it was for Riot to do this to me but that didn’t make it any better or easier.

"I have to go now" He said quietly. I slowly started to shake my head. I wanted to beg him to stay.
"Please don't" I've never begged for anything and I promised myself that this would be the first and last time.
"We need you here" I need you here.
It wasn't fair from me that I pulled Scorpion and Faceless in all this. It wasn't fair from me to make him a bad conscience.
But I didn’t know what to do.
"Please-" I started but Riot lay a hand on my mouth. He squeezed my hand again and again like a stress ball.
"Don't...make it harder than it already is" He said, looked up to me and smiled slightly. He tried to smile the sadness away.
He stood on his tip toes and kissed me. This made it a lot harder but I loved it too much to admit it to myself.
He pulled away and we just stared in each other's eyes.
My brain was empty except for two sentences:
Please don't leave me.
I love you.

The sun shone and his eyes looked like a pool of honey. This wasn't fair. How can life give me someone like him just to take him away from me  the next second?
I inhaled deeply to pull myself together.

"Goodbye sunshine"
Riot gently took a few of my hair out of my forehead before he let me go, turned around and left.
"Hey Riot..." He turned around and looked surprised.
I pulled the cream for his scars out of my jacket and threw it at him. He catched it and when he realized what it was he began to smile.
"Thank you"
"Don't forget it, darling" I didn't even try to smile.
I really didn't have the strength for that.
"I won't"
"Great" I looked to the ground.
"Now go and make the world a better place" I mumbled.
"Always" After a few seconds I looked up again but he was already gone.
I looked around as if I'd hope he would stand right behind me and tell me that everything was just a (stupid) joke or something. But he disappeared.
Grow up and accept the truth. He doesn't need you as much as you need him.

Goodbye darling I thought and ran my hands through my hair. I crouched down and hide my face behind my hands.
I felt like I'd fall to pieces any second.
I never realized how much addiction I've developed in the past weeks.
Strangers gave me weird looks.
I could almost hear their thoughts.
I stood up, put on the hood of my hoodie, stared to the ground and put my hair infornt of my eyes so I definitely wouldn't have eye contact with anyone.

When I came home I thought that a shower would help me feel better. I couldn't be more wrong.
In the end, I squatted on the floor of the shower, pulled my knees to the chest and let the hot water flow down my body.
How could he leave so fast?
What has happened?
What did I miss?
It was one of those days again when I was glad I didn't have a mirror in my bathroom. But I still knew that I had to look terrible.
When I lay down in my bed, the doorbell rang.
It was late and dark.
I never got any visitors.
Especially when it was late and dark.
I just decided to ignore it, but it rang again and again. I moaned loudly and got up again. I opened the door and started to complain before I could see the person outside the door.
"I hope you have a damn good reason to ring here, otherwise- oh."

_____________________________________
What's a soulmate?
Well... It's like a best friend but more...

~anon

Y'all sorry for any mistakes. I'm way too tired right now... :)
Have an amazing day/night