Never Alone || Fourtris

Chapter 19

The world is a dark and empty place. No one you can trust. People are selfish, even the good ones. They all have a want, and what that want is are things for themselves. They thirst for want and sometimes their want can leave scars. No one is perfect, but then again no one is safe from the dangers of the bad ones. I alone have been left with scars from people who just want things for themselves. Again, to this day, I am still getting scars from the people who are thirsty for more want. This world is becoming curler by the hour and there is nothing we can do. I am trapped in the misery of my life and all I can do is wait, wait for one day to free me from all this want. 

I finish writing in my journal, putting my pen down and tracing my fingers over the cover. The journal with the torn edges and faded covers lays still on my lap and I close it putting it in my cache, the one hidden under my bed. As the lights shut off the cold December air nips at my bare arms and face, trying to wrap itself around me. I nestle up in my covers, listening to the sounds that are not usually heard. 

Its probably the middle of the night, maybe one in the morning. Bud usually watches whatever is on tv, suffering from insomnia. Thats what happens when you get high while drinking. Everything has its consequences. That got me to thinking the consequences my mother faced. Because she chose to stay close to that awful man, she faced the consequences of her children being separated from her. After the playdate Caleb and I had with her, I haven't seen her since. Six years. As I start to drift off, I hear my mothers voice in the distance, singing her favorite song when she thought everything was upside down. I would've sang it back to her, but the weariness got to me, and I am out. 

*****************************************************************************

December is the best time of the year, the air cold and that christmas feeling you get. Snow everywhere for children to build their snowman. Im surprised we are not all dead, suffering from hypothermia probably. The puddles that were formed from the snow last night is turned into ice. The one sweater I have is the only one Bud allows. Christina offers me her spare jacket in the trunk and I take it. Wrapping it around me, letting my body absorb the heat keeping me safe. We can barley see the school as we approach it, Christina desperately wanting her windshield wipers to hurry. 

Once we park, I step out into the cold air and it doesn't affect me as much as with the small sweater. No one is outside, except for the students getting dropped off who are quickly entering the building. As Christina and I enter, a flash of heat hits us both and we sigh in relief. The students are not as rowdy as they usually are, probably cooling their now numb hands. When I touch the cold metal of my locker, Tobias sneaks up behind me, ticking my sides. I laugh and turn around to push him. 

"Dont do that," I say.

"Sorry, hey did you hear what we are doing in English today," he says. 

"No, what?"

"Word says that we are doing secret santa. That in two weeks before break we all have to give our presents to our buddy and have this party and whatever," he says, his eyes lit up.

"Thats sounds awesome, hopefully your my buddy,"I say jokingly. 

"I'll see you later in class," he says and takes off, talking to his other buddies. 

I shake my head a bit and grab my english book from the locker and close it, following right behind. As I walk, all the thoughts go through my head and then I remember the pictures. Its been two weeks. A small drop to my stomach happens then I recover. My breathing however is still shallow and my walking becomes slower. I know I thought this was ridiculous, but what if something bad happens to Caleb? Stop it Tris, you will find the person who did this and you will figure it out. My brain yells at me.