A/N: Happy New Year! I combined both the lines about Wyatt into one chapter. Enjoy! :)
“Are you Wyatt? Because you won’t leave me alone.”
“Are you Wyatt Blue? Because you are hairless and so annoying. But I love you.”
“Scottney!”
“What?”
“Come look at this.”
Scott emerged from the kitchen a couple seconds later, a glass of chardonnay in each hand. Mitch was feeling a little under the weather, so they’d decided on a boys’ night in with Netflix and wine. “What is it?” he asked as he sat down next to Mitch on the couch, handing him one of the glasses as he peered at Mitch’s laptop screen.
“It’s a blog called “Pet Shaming.” It’s people taking pictures of their pets next to a little card saying what they did wrong. Look, it’s fucking hilarious,” he giggled as he let Scott scroll through the blog.
Soon enough, they were both pretty much out of breath from laughter. “This is fantastic! Can we submit one of Wyatt to them?”
“Oh my God, yes!” Mitch exclaimed, scrolling up and clicking the “Submit” button on the blog. “Okay, first we need to think of something funny he did.”
Scott snorted. “Oh, that’s not hard. A couple months ago he turned the stove on by accident, remember? He nearly burnt down the house.”
“Oh, Jesus. And then the time he pounced on the vet and scratched her right here, like really deep?” Mitch exclaimed, tracing two fingers down the side of his face. “That was mortifying. I felt so bad.”
Scott laughed, trying to think of something else their nutjob Sphynx cat had done recently. “Ohhhhhh, wait. What about yesterday?”
It took Mitch a moment to understand. “No.”
“Please! Mitchy, it-”
“Absolutely fucking not, Scott! Are you crazy? Do you know what would happen if the fans find it?"
"Pleeeeease? It’s so funny!” Scott begged, wrapping Mitch in a bear hug.
Mitch sighed heavily, giving Scott a sharp glare before rolling his eyes and accepting the hug. “Fine. But if one of the fans see it and they figure out it’s us, I will fucking. Murder. You.”
“Yeah, yeah. Go get some paper and a Sharpie; I’ll find Wyatt.”
***
A few minutes later, Mitch was trying desperately to get Wyatt to sit still on the ground in the corner while Scott scribbled their tale of woe onto a piece of paper. “Is this good?” he asked, showing his finished product to Mitch.
Mitch studied it, laughing. “Yeah, yeah. That’s perfect. Okay, so put the paper next to him and keep him still. I’m gonna take a picture real quick, okay?”
It took a couple tries, but Scott managed to keep Wyatt’s attention long enough for the paper to stay balanced against the cat’s body while Mitch snapped a picture on his phone. “Got it! It’s perf. Okay, I’m gonna upload it. Are you sure that it’ll be impossible for the fans to tell it’s us? I mean, Wyatt’s in so many of our videos, and there’s like a million pictures of him circulating all over the place...”
“Oh, my God, Mitchy, quit worrying about it. It’s not like they’re not assuming it’s happened already. Plus, the site might not even publish it at all. Just chill.”
“Yeah, you’re right. Sorry, babe,” Mitch agreed, giving Scott a peck on the cheek before going back to the laptop to submit their creation.
***
Mitch woke up to the sound of his phone buzzing non-stop. He stretched out his legs a little before reaching over and unplugging his phone to see what all the fuss was about. As he read the dozen-or-so texts from some of his friends, he sat bolt upright, his heart nearly stopping as he went over and checked his Twitter notifications. Fuck. I was right. “Scott?” he yelled, his call traveling out the cracked door.
“Yeah?”
“People are tweeting the picture!”
He heard footsteps outside the bedroom door until Scott burst in, looking even more panicked than Mitch. “Are you fucking serious?”
He nodded, holding his phone towards Scott as he came over to look. “Yeah. See? Someone was like, “Found this gem on the Pet Shaming Tumblr account, hashtag Wyatt, hashtag Scöm-”
“Okay, I get it,” Scott snapped, scrolling quickly through Mitch’s notifications. “Shit.”
“And then I got a lot of texts with screenshots of it saying stuff like “Guess the cat’s out of the bag, congratulations!” and shit like that.”
Scott groaned, squeezing his eyes shut and pinching the bridge of his nose. “Fuck. And we were gonna make a Superfruit video about it eventually, too!”
“I know.”
They sat in silence for a few moments, Scott absorbed in the Twitter fiasco and Mitch just sitting there, thinking about the effect it would have once they did make that video. The fans would go nuts. He didn’t even want to think about it. And that’s when it hit him.
“Scott?”
Scott didn’t look up from Mitch’s phone. “Yeah, babe?”
“Why are we even so worried about this? I mean, it’s our business if we’re together or not, right?”
Scott looked up from the Twitter feed to shoot Mitch a look. “Well, I mean, we did just broadcast the details of our sex life via pet shaming, so it’s a little different than that.”
“Still! It’s our relationship, you know? Just live and let live, is my motto.”
Smiling, Scott gave Mitch his phone back, leaning in to kiss him. “For someone who got a D in Health freshman year, you’re pretty damn insightful.”
“Shut the fuck up. We can’t all be Einstein!”
Scott laughed, standing up and motioning for Mitch to do the same. “Come on, loser. I made coffee.”
Mitch grinned, following Scott out into the kitchen and sitting down at the table. He saw their pet shaming sign on the other side of the table and smirked as he read it again:
“Whenever my dads have “alone time,” I sit outside the bedroom door and meow like I’m dying. I’m not too popular with them right now.”
YOU ARE READING
75 AMAZING PICK UP LINES
Fanfiction**This story is being put aside for now, but feel free to read what's already here! :) A Scomiche one-shot story where each one-shot is based on the pick up lines from the Superfruit video "75 AMAZING PICK UP LINES".
