The Downfalls Of Being Me (On Hold)

Chapter 4

I stared at the clock with all my concentration, watching the second turn to minutes, silently counting down the last few seconds until the bell rang. The past 2 hours had been hell. Whitney had passed notes to her friends the whole lesson, and by their sniggers and glances at me, I knew the notes contained comments about me. As soon as the loud bell pierced the quiet class room, everyone jumped up and hurried to pack their bags, before scurrying out. Just as I was heading for the door, Mr. Hues stopped me.

"Skye, could I have a word?" I sighed and turned to face him. He didn't look cross, so I didn't believe I was in trouble. "I've heard you have a passion, or talent for writing. I was wondering if you would like to show me some of your work sometime?"

Though I was passionate about my writing, it was something I usually kept to myself. I didn't like the thought of people judging me or my writing. I hesitated before replying.

"I usually don't like to share my writing, but I might bring in a short story for you to read." His face lit up in anticipation.

"Wonderful! I can't wait to have a read." Teachers always surprised me with their enthusiasm for a certain subject. English, art and music I could understand, but history, math and science? I didn't see how it was humanly possible to like those classes let alone teach them.

I followed the huge body of students towards the cafeteria. At my old school we usually had to bring our lunch, or we were allowed to walk to the shops. But the principle had informed us that eating was to be done in the cafeteria. From what I had heard and seen in movies, cafeteria food was usually rubbish. But my nose said otherwise. Delicious smells wafted around me, and I couldn't help but take a big lung full of the air.

Just as I entered the food hall, someone shoved past me, causing my books and pencils to fall to the ground. I scowled and glared at the back of the girl who had so rudely pushed me. Kneeling down, I gathered my belongings and stuffed them into my backpack for safe keeping.

I couldn't resist the smell of the food much longer, and followed my nose to the back of the huge line. The line wasn't moving very fast, and I watched in dismay as the food got less and less. I guess that was why everyone was in such a hurry; first come, first served. By the time I had grabbed a tray and got to choose my lunch, there wasn't very much left. But everything looked delicious, so I settled with Lasagne and a green salad.

Now came the hard part. I scanned the room and soon saw everyone was sitting in their groups, like I had seen outside. Where would I fit in? None of the groups or tables looked very inviting, and any spare chair was blocked by a bag when I got close. I noticed an empty table at the back and made my way over there. There's nothing wrong with sitting by myself, plus it would give me time to figure out the stupid time table.

The piece of paper still made no sense to me. The words were jumbled and abbreviated to letters that I couldn't figure out. On the other hand, the lunch tasted as good as it had smelt. It was amazing, and now I understood why no one wanted to leave the school grounds for lunch.

I didn't like to judge people, but when I had given up on time table, I decided to study the students. Whitney and her group were gossiping, probably about broken nails and split ends, or how gross certain people were. Like me.

I had read a lot of high school drama books, and seen enough shows to know that this was where my Prince, or best friend should waltz up to me and start a forever relationship. But this was reality, not a story, and reality was I was sitting alone, and getting kinda cold.

No one talked to me, and I wondered through the halls waiting for someone to direct me to my next class. When the bell rang to notify us that lunch was over, the students rushed back to their classes, and I was pushed around. I didn't really want to talk to anyone, so I just walked through the empty halls, kicking rubbish around.

I had expected a bad day, but not this bad. I thought at least someone would notice me, or ask me something. I couldn't hold the tears back any longer and I let myself slide down the corner of one of the halls. I didn't want to be there anymore, I just wanted to go home, where I could delve into my online life and escape this shit.

I must have been sitting there for a while, lost in my thoughts. I didn't notice Jake until he was looming above me.

"Are you ok?" He asked, crouching down so he could see my face. I refused to make eye contact. He sat down next to me, which surprised me. Why would a prefect want to sit down next to some pathetic girl on a dirty hallway floor?

"What's up?" His tone if voice was like a big brother, caring and gentle, but not in the slight be seductive. I liked it. I decided to spill everything to him. Well my mouth had decided that, my mind  didn't totally agree on the decision.

"I've never fit in at school, so when we moved I thought it could be a fresh start. But no one talks to me, and Miss princess- I mean Whitney and her gang just pick at my faults and tease me for my hobbies."

I turned to study his face. He had a look of understanding and a kind smile directed at me.

"I was once that kid too, you know. Hey, how about tomorrow, you join us guys, see if you fit in there. But be prepared for a lot of dirty mindedness." He said winking.

I knew what guys were like, and I knew they were a lot less judgemental towards their friends. Maybe I could fit in with them.

"Thanks." I tried my best to give him a big smile.

"Now, school is almost finished, so why don't you clean yourself up, and go home early?" He stood up and held out a hand to help me up. Taking his hand I gave him a thankful smile and dusted myself off.

"I'll see you tomorrow then?" I asked, picking up my bag.

"Sure will."

On the walk home, I had time to think about what had happened during the day. Jake was nice, and I could see he was a brotherly figure to a lot of students at the school. I was excited, yet nervous for tomorrow. I hoped the guys didn't judge me in the wrong way.

When I got home, I didn't really feel like telling mum how it had went. Knowing her, she would feel bad about moving, and just get down about it. I opened the front and plastered the biggest smile on my face, trying to look convincing.

"Oh hey Skye! How did it go?" Mum gave me a  huge hug. I loved her hugs, they always made me feel safe. I knew I could trust her with anything, and I usually did, but I didn't want to put more stress on her, the whole moving thing was enough.

"It was great Mum." I replied, grinning. I didn't know how much longer I could keep this fake happiness up.