Requested by: @bvbluver71
*Trigger warning self harm/suicide*
You've been friends with the guys in BVB for a few years now. You also lived in the same house. They were gone at the venue getting ready for their show. They are super awesome people who help so many people. You've had a super big crush on Jake for a while though...
You've been depressed for a few months and that caused you to start self-harming again. At this point, you were done. You didn't want to live anymore. You have no idea how hard it is to hide this from the guys. There was only one thing stopping you from ending it all...Jake.
You went into the bathroom and plugged in your straightener to heat up while you began working on your makeup. The guys were performing nearby tonight and they had got you a backstage pass so you could watch them perform.
You finished your war paint and started on your hair. When you got to the back, you accidentally got your fingers with the tool. You jumped and pulled your hand away, looking at the bright red mark it had left on your skin. The pain soon subsided but you were left craving the feeling once again.
You bit down and held the straightener in front of you, slowly bringing your arm in between the hot metal plates. You quickly closed the straightener around your arm and jumped away. It stung for a few seconds and then stopped. You repeated this a few more times before looking at the time and deciding you had to finish getting ready.
You had to wear a long sleeve BVB shirt to cover all the red marks the straightener had left, hoping the guys wouldn't notice. You put on some black ripped skinnies and your favorite black spiked boots and were ready to go.
-----at the venue-----
You got backstage just as the guys were getting ready to run out. They greeted you quickly, but didn't have much time and ran out, causing an eruption of cheers and screams.
They played their set and had finished when Andy turned to look at you and said something that surprised you.
"BVB Army! We have a little surprise for our friend (Y/N) who's right over there." He pointed at you. "So if she wouldn't mind coming out here for a minute..."
You shook your head and walked out towards Andy. As you walked out, everybody clapped. Jake met you in the middle of the stage as Andy handed him a microphone. You were slightly confused.
"I am the one that actually has a surprise for (Y/N)." Jake said, turning to Andy who shrugged at him. "(Y/N), will you be my girlfriend?"
You covered your mouth with your hands, shocked that Jake felt the same way about you as you did about him. You quickly nodded, as you were at a loss for words, and the fans went crazy. Jake held his hand up as if to quiet them and the noise came down a bit.
"I have one more thing to ask." He said. "Will you stop harming yourself? Please?"
You felt tears beginning to roll down my cheeks. You couldn't make them stop no matter how hard I tried. You also couldn't stop your self-harm. It was part of you at this point.
"You know what? I think I've changed my mind. Sorry." You said.
You turned and ran off the stage and heard a couple of the guys call after you. You got outside and were just trying to see through your tears well enough to get to your car. You drove back to the house and ran up to your room, slamming the door behind you. You flopped down on your bed and cried.
About an hour and a half later, the guys got back. You heard footsteps come up the stairs and a knock on your door. You got up and opened it to find Jake standing there. The moment you saw him, you tried to slam it shut again but he put his foot down in the crack before it could close all the way.
Jake was not the person you wanted to see right now. In fact, he is the one person you DIDN'T want to see right now. Jake pushed the door open all the way and walked towards you. You couldn't move.
Soon, Jake was standing right in front of you, your chests almost touching. He leaned down and pressed his lips softly against yours. You were shocked for a moment before finally kissing back. You pulled away after a few moments and you spoke first.
"Jake I'm so sorry for embarrassing you on stage tonight. I would love to be your girlfriend." You said.
Jake smiled at you and kissed you again. A couple seconds later, you heard noise coming from the doorway and looked up to see the guys watching.
"Go the fuck away!" Jake yelled.
The guys immediately got up and ran downstairs as Jake closed the door. Jake turned back to you and went to kiss you again but you held your hand up to stop him.
"I also won't hurt myself anymore." You said.
"Promise?" He asked.
"Promise."
Jake smiled and grabbed you in a tight hug and kissed your cheek.
"Thank you." He whispered in your ear.
The two of you went downstairs to see all the guys on their phones on the couch. They said a few different greetings to you, pretending like nothing happened. You rolled your eyes and suggested you all go get ice cream, which Cc was WAY too excited about.
-----2 weeks later-----
You were self harming again. Sometimes you would use the straightener, but mostly it was a razor blade. Jake didn't know and you felt so guilty for it but you couldn't stop.
The guys were downstairs doing who knows what so you were upstairs alone. They didn't know you were awake yet since you hadn't come downstairs.
You were scrolling through social media when you saw some of the fans' comments on a picture Jake had posted of the two of you a couple days ago. There were some nice comments...but there were more mean ones. There had been a lot of hate directed towards you ever since you and Jake started dating. The guys had asked everyone to please stop but that didn't change anything.
You kept scrolling and the comments started getting to you. You knew you should just stop reading them but you couldn't.
Kill yourself
Jake is too good for you
She's so ugly
Why does Jake like her?
This wasn't the reason you were suicidal. It just made it worse. You felt hot tears streaming down your face as you put your phone down and looked for your blade. You found it and held it to your wrist, the cold metal almost comforting your pain. You were ending it. If people really wanted you out of the world, you would do them a favor...
