3 Way | Michael B. Jordan |

There is peace in solitude ...

Scarlett

I sat wide awake in the middle of what had now become my bed. Listening on as the wind blew about, throwing the branches of the nearby tries against each other. Each gust roughly howling through the small openings in the wooded cabin that had now become my home. 

Three weeks. It had been almost three weeks since the last time I had seen or heard from Michael. And at this point I was slowly starting to become undone. 

Three weeks in the woods. No phone. No WIFI. No means of communication with the outside world. Just me left all alone with my thoughts. All alone for three weeks. In the woods for three weeks. 

Other than the occasional grocery delivery to keep me sane. Which was barely helping at this point. The person never spoke much. Just dropped the food off and went about their way. Regardless of how chatty or nice I attempted to be. I'm guessing Michael had a very specific set of instructions for me.  

It had been raining cats and dogs since I got here. Only clearing on occasion. Just enough to sneak in the occasional hike. Which ultimately started to make me feel more detached from the rest of the world then I already had been feeling. 

Don't get me wrong I enjoyed nature. If this were a planned trip and I had access to my phone I'd probably be able to make this best of this experience. There was peace in solitude. Something I had recently learned during my separation from Derrick. 

I had always been so needy and clingy. Afraid to be left alone for to long for fear of ... what exactly I was not sure. 

I guess the unknown. I had always had someone. I had always had tons of friends and an awesome family. Growing up I had been mildly popular. In college I was in a sorority. Surrounded by a lot of amazing women. Then I met Derrick who was amazing himself ... at first anyway.

Then one day he changed. Started planting seeds of doubt and insecurity in my head. Reminding me daily of who I wasn't or of the things I lacked. Started telling me how much I needed him. And how no one else would want me the way he did. And I believed every word of his lies. 

And soon the fear of being alone out weighed the fear of being with someone who didn't value nor respect me. A tragedy in one simple sentence. 

But even after finding the courage to move on and forward, I had quickly gotten entangled into yet another web of misfortune. First with Michael and Tessa. Then with Michael and Andrew. Ultimately ending in this whole Michael, Andrew and Terra fiasco. 

And at this point I just wanted this all to be over. I was ready to move forward in my truth. Because if this is where lying would get me then I wanted no more parts of it. 

There was peace in solitude.

I'd have to just keep telling myself that even after this was all over. If I was left without a man I'd live. The goal wasn't to secure a man at this point. The goal was to live. 

I had managed to get myself caught up in something way bigger than me. And the most messed up part about it all was the fact that I knew better. I should've stuck to my first mind. And avoided Michael like the plague after our first night together. 

This was supposed to be fun. Just one wild night to remember. But due to greed and lack of restraint here I was. Sitting in the middle of nowhere. Alone. All alone.

 In the end I hadn't managed to escape being alone. I hadn't managed to escape the one thing I feared most. 

Michael was a wild ride. He was young, handsome and successful. An amazing lover and kind ear. But so much came with the idea of being with him.