The Intoxicating Affair

Chapter 14

We've been to a couple of pubs. It was just after 9pm. I was already starting to get tipsy. I should settle, we still have a few pubs to get around to. Luke's friends seem nice. Another girl was here with her boyfriend and a couple other guys. They are all around Luke's age, not too much younger than me. While I was drinking, dancing and having a pretty fun time I couldn't help but think about Julia. We made our way to the next pub. I walked past a restaurant and to my surprise saw Julia through the window. I froze. She was too distracted to see me but I had my eyes glued to her. She was having dinner with another woman. The other woman had her hand on Julia's. They were smiling. The other woman looked around her age, blonde, black dress and heels. She was pretty. Luke broke my stare.
"Hey, you coming?" He asked
"Uh yeah I'll catch up" I replied as our pub was right next to the restaurant.  I couldn't help but feel saddened that Julia is seeing other women still. I know her and I aren't exclusive but I suppose I didn't think she'd want anyone else. I should've known better. She's only just come out... Ofcourse she'd want to experiment. I shook my head and continued walking, not looking back. I stood at the bar. I ordered a tequila shot and an apple cider. I licked the salt, did the shot and sucked the lemon. I shook my head in disgust as I quickly had a sip of my cider. A woman beside me spoke.
"Not a fan of tequila?" She smiled. I turned to look at her. She was tanned skin, brunette and had gorgeous brown eyes. She was wearing a cute crop top with some jeans and sneakers, she pulled the outfit off well.
"Not really, can you tell?" I replied
"It will come with time. You'll do it enough times where you literally won't even taste it anymore" She spoke, I admired her facial features.
"I'm Summer" I held my hand out to shake hers. She smiled and shook my hand.
"I'm Mariana" She replied, her accent when she said her name was amazing.
"Where you from?" I asked
"Here" She smiled, I raised my eyebrows as if to say... No really...
"Nah I'm from Sonora, Mexico" She replied, I nod my head.
"Who are you here with?" I asked her as I looked around.
"A lot of people. We are all kind of spread out around the town though for a friends birthday. I'm here though with a couple of my friends, they're over there" She pointed to a couple girls who were dancing on the dance floor.
"What about you?" She added, I pointed at Luke and his small group.
"Having a good night?" She asked, I shrugged my shoulders as I took a sip of my cider, thinking about Julia with that woman.
"Ah one of those nights" She replied as she gave me one of her tequila shots.
"This will take the edge off" She smiled as she took her shot then looked at me to take mine. I smiled then took the shot, tried my hardest not to make a face after it.
"See, you're getting better" She spoke
"Want to dance?" She asked, I looked back at Luke.
"Sure, I'll meet you on the dance floor" I spoke as I walked back to Luke to let him know I'm going to dance. Him and his friends joined. I located Mariana. She was absolutely stunning. We danced for a while before I got hot. I let Luke know I was going outside to get some fresh air.
"Want me to come?" He asked
"No it's okay! Keep dancing" I smiled.
I walked out and took a big breath of fresh air" I leaned against the brick wall of the pub. There were a few people smoking out the front. It was a busy night tonight for the town. I looked to my right and ofcourse I see Julia out the front talking to that woman. I hid behind a table while watching them. I felt someone tap my shoulder, I jumped. Mariana laughed.
"What you doing there?" She asked
"Uhh just getting some fresh air" I replied
"Looks like you were hiding from someone" She spoke
"Yeah and that..." I smiled
"From who?" She asked as she looked in the direction I was looking at.
"That woman over there in the red dress, brunette..." I spoke as I turned and looked at Julia.
"Your boss? Your mum?" She questioned
"Oh god no" I replied
"She's sort of... I don't know what we are. I suppose she's not my girlfriend nor is she my ex but we were... an item for a while. She told me she wasn't going to see anyone and I just saw her with this woman and now I don't know what to think" I blabbered on. I looked at Mariana who looked surprised.
"She's beautiful" She spoke, I didn't expect her to say that.
"She is but it's very complicated" I replied
"It always is... So why don't you say hey" She stated
"Nah. I don't want to ruin her night. She deserves happiness, even if it's not with me" I spoke
"That's sweet... Very selfless of you" Mariana replied.
"Come on, come have a few drinks" I looked at Julia once more before walking back inside. I drowned out my thoughts with alcohol. It's not like me to do that but why the hell not.

I awoke in my bed, alone. The sun streaming through my windows, I could barely open my eyes. How did I get home last night? What even happened last night? My head was a blur. I finally sat up and checked my phone. I had a few text messages. Mainly from Owen and Luke, also from Mariana. It looks like she added me on Facebook. I scrolled through her photos. Wow, she really is beautiful. I checked Luke's message.
Hope you got home okay! Thanks so much for coming out for my birthday! Hope you had fun! x
I replied;
Thankyou! I don't remember much! I hope I didn't embarrass myself too much.

I had some Advil to clear my head as well as some toast. While I was showering I remembered seeing Julia with that woman last night. I don't know why it hurts so much to think about. I need to talk to her. I need to explain my feelings. After my shower I messaged Julia asking her to meet me for a drink tonight. Meanwhile I called Owen to give him the weekly spill on my emotions. Poor guy, always gets the shit end of the stick when it comes to listening to my problems.
"What are you wanting out of this?" He asked. That question turned into an hour long conversation of me blabbering on about my thoughts and feelings.

Julia agreed to meet up with me tonight. I picked out my outfit. Black jeans, black suade dress shoes and a long sleeve Ralph Lauren button up shirt. I put my hair in a bun, it was messy but it looked good. I sprayed my favourite cologne on... I was ready to go. I drove to the hotel where I asked her to meet me. They had a really nice bar down there and as expensive as the hotel looks, the drinks are actually quite affordable. I walked in and couldn't see Julia anywhere. I sat down at the bar and ordered a quick shot of vodka, downed it quickly. I needed it to give me the buzz to get through this conversation that was about to come. I also ordered a beer for myself and a wine, ready for Julia. I was spinning my drink around on the coaster when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned to face Julia. I admired her. My eyes scanning her. She was wearing a red, business-like dress, something that she'd wear to work but it just made her look incredibly sexy. Red was her colour, it complimented her very well. She gave me a kiss on the cheek as she sat beside me.
"Is this for me?" She asked
"All yours" I replied
"So, whats the occasion?" She asked as she took a sip.
"No occasion... More so of an understanding and mutual agreement" I stated. Oh boy. I was nervous, I could feel the sweat pouring out of my hands.
"What's going on Summer?" Julia asked with concern.
"I saw you last night... With a woman, she was blonde" I stated
"You seemed close and it just made me think..." I added, she looked at me intently.
"I think we should stop seeing each other" I spoke as I quickly took a sip of my drink. Our eyes connected. She looked upset and confused. I was trying to hold myself together but on the inside, my heart was crushing.
"You have two kids Julia. You've just come out... You're wanting to experiment and I understand that completely. I didn't think I would be bothered but I am. I didn't want anyone else touching you and that's when I realised I can't be selfish. I think this needs to end... Whatever 'this' is" I explained- Julia went to open her mouth to say something before I stopped her.
"I love you and without sounding cliché, they say if you love something, set it free so that's what I'm doing. I want you to be happy. I want you to find yourself" I added as I choked on my words.
Our eyes met once again and we were both teary.
"If that's what you want" Was all that she replied with.
"I think it's best, don't you?" I replied, she shrugged her shoulders. We sat silently for a couple minutes. I stood up from the stool.
"Goodbye Julia" I spoke as I leaned down to her and kissed her. I didn't care that people could see us. As I was grabbing her face I could feel a tear on her cheek. I continued kissing her until I finally pulled away. She didn't face me, just looked down. I think she didn't want me to see how upset she was. Her being upset made me even more upset and so I left, without looking back.
I drove home. Listening to depressing songs and crying. Typical...
I fell straight onto my bed and stared at the ceiling. Memories were flooding my mind. I think she may be the only woman I've ever been in love with.

It's been a couple months since I had my last chat with Julia. Life has been good. It almost feels like something has been lifted off my chest. I was in love and tried to make something impossible work with someone that was destined to not work. Now that I have let this go, I feel free. I definitely have my nights where I remember the past and I feel my heart crumble but I'm sure she's happy and as am I with my life. I started talking to Mariana. She's absolutely stunning and I wanted to get to know her more.