Who We Were Before

A teary reunion

Shuichi didn't remember how he responded to the question. Probably something super intelligent like "Ko-Ko-What? Why-how-HUH?!" before he promptly collapsed on the ground.

After Atua knows how long he woke up on a comfortable couch, Kokichi leaning over him,  golden eyes meeting with purple ones that lit up with excitement and something else he couldn't quite put his finger on.

"Rise and shine sleeping beauty!" Kokichi half said, half yelled at him. The bright smile on his face made Shuichi's heart flutter, a strange feeling he couldn't seem to pinpoint.

"You-you're alive!" Shuichi's voice was barely more than a whisper but somehow Kokichi still heard it. His smile faltered a bit as he looked at Shuichi with worry, his bright purple eyes displaying just the smallest hint of sadness.

Just as soon as the vulnerability graced his face, it was gone, replaced with Kokichi's trademark grin.

"Nishishi of course I am Saihara~Chan! You think a big hunk of metal could defeat the ultimate supreme leader? I may be in a wheelchair now and can barely walk across the street and back before falling but a stupid press couldn't take me down that easily. Wow Shumai for a detective you're pretty dense!"

Shuichi didn't say a word. Before he could even think about what he was doing, he lunged forward, crushing the smaller boy in a bear hug as tears rolled down his face.

"Kokichi I- I'M SO SORRY!" Shuichi felt Kokichi jump a bit at the volume of his words but he wouldn't let go of the boy. He never wanted to let go again.

"Shumai it's okay! You've got nothing to be sorry for! I brought it all on myself after all. It's not your fault I decided to bother everyone so much!" Of all the confrontation scenarios Kokichi had prepared himself for, this definitely wasn't one of them. He'd have to think fast on his feet.

"NO KOKICHI IT WAS ALL MY FAULT!"

The detective was full on sobbing at this point, clutching onto Kokichi as he let loose everything he had felt those days after Kokichi was gone. All those hours of overwhelming grief and regret personifying themselves in hot tears as they soaked into Kokichi's shirt.

"You trusted me. I was the only one you trusted and I-I broke you. I-I told you you'd always be alone. And then you-you sacrificed yourself. You sacrificed yourself after everything I did to you! After what all of us did to you! After all those harsh words and screaming and yelling and punches and death wishes, you still tried to save everyone! Why on Earth would you do that?"

Shuichi finally pulled back from the hug slightly, letting Kokichi breathe. His vision was still obstructed by tears as they poured free, but he could see the emotions in Kokichi's purple eyes. So many conflicting emotions he could barely process any of them. Shuichi could tell just then, Kokichi had finally taken down his mask.

"I-I had to do it Shuichi. It was my only option. After I was struck by that crossbow bolt, I knew I was going to die."

Shuichi watched in shock as tears, genuine tears escaped Kokichi's eyes, rolling slowly down his small face. Shuichi resisted the urge to reach up and wipe them away.

"Kaito and I both knew what we had to do. He was dying of the disease anyway. Neither of us believed we would leave that class trial alive, but I knew it had to be me to take the fall, to take the risk to save everyone else. I had already been planning my sacrifice for a while. Something elaborate and unsolvable that would cause the end of the game. I had spent so many sleepless nights in my room writing detailed plans for every scenario I could possibly think of. I thought I would have a bit more time, but the second Maki shot that crossbow, I knew that was it. I knew I wouldn't leave that hangar alive." At this point the smaller boy was desperately trying to stop his tears, trying to put his mask back up as he shook in Shuichi's arms.

"As much as I wanted to live, wanted to survive and escape with you and all the others, I wanted to redeem myself more. During that game, I made decisions that eventually caused everyone to hate me. I was cruel and heartless to everyone around me because it was the only way I could cope with what was happening. I claimed to be the mastermind after Gonta's trial because I knew you guys would all hate me for it. I hated myself after all so what difference would a couple more people make? I couldn't have anyone get close to me. It was what was necessary to survive. It was just like you said, I was alone. But Kaito, he had you and Maki and all the others supporting him. I couldn't possibly have kept living knowing I could've saved him. My stupidity had already caused the deaths of 2 other people. My stupidity had caused me to break the one rule I'd had for myself since as long as I could remember. In my own eyes, that made me beyond redemption. Causing their deaths made me a monster. It caused me so much grief and despair that I legit went insane. If Kaito had even the slightest chance of survival, of escaping with people he cared about who cared about him in return, I would have gladly sacrificed myself in his place. He had so much to live for, and i had nothing. So I decided to die instead. If there was even a chance that I could be forgiven, a chance to redeem myself to you guys even just a little bit, I had to take it even if it cost me my own life in the very end."

Shuichi couldn't resist the temptation anymore. He lifted his arm and delicately swiped away Kokichi's tears before letting his hand linger as he cupped the smaller boy's cheek. Kokichi tensed up at first, his face gaining a slight pink tint before he closed his eyes and leaned into Shuichi's touch, craving the tiny bit of affection after being alone for who knows how long. The sight of Kokichi so vulnerable made Shuichi feel happy, no, more than happy. The urge to protect the smaller boy was overwhelming. He was barely aware of his movements as he lunged forward for another hug, his strong arms wrapping around Kokichi's tiny frame as the smaller boy shook slightly, desperately trying to stop his tears and put up his mask yet again. Desperately trying to force away his vulnerability so Shuichi wouldn't get even closer. Shuichi couldn't seem to force his vocal cords to work, not knowing what he could possibly say to comfort the small boy. Kokichi didn't seem to mind though, instead choosing to nuzzle his face further into Shuichi's chest, clutching desperately onto his shirt as if he would disappear at any moment.

Neither of them were entirely sure how long they sat there on the couch, just holding each other as they let loose all of the emotions they had been hiding for so long. It wasn't until they had no tears left that Kokichi finally let go of his grip on Shuichi and pulled away. Shuichi was almost saddened by the sudden emptiness of his arms as Kokichi looked up at him with those piercing purple eyes, puffy and red from his tears. In a split second however, his entire demeanor changed completely, his trademark smirk returning to his face in the blink of an eye.

"Nishishi, wow Saihara-Chan! You made me look super stupid and vulnerable right there. You looked pretty dumb yourself though too, dropping your own problems to comfort me. Hehe too bad it was all a-"

Kokichi suddenly stopped talking, averting his eyes from Shuichi's face to look at the floor. It didn't take a genius to understand what the smaller boy was going to say. He was going to say it was all a lie, Shuichi thought to himself. But why did he stop himself?

"Kokichi why did you-"

"Oh nothing my precious Shumai. Wow you'd think you'd have realized how much I lie by now? Did our time together in the game mean nothing to you? WAHHHH." Kokichi started crying again but this time the tears were obviously fake. Shuichi chuckled a bit at Kokichi's outburst, secretly thankful to have his old friend back.

Wait friend? Were they friends?

Shuichi honestly didn't know. Plus there were more important things to discuss, such as why Kokichi was in his... no their apartment apparently. Whether they were or weren't friends could definitely wait.

"So," Shuichi started, finally finding his voice. "You said there's a lot to talk about? How about we start with that then."

A/N: So uhhh thanks for over 100 reads and so many sweet comments! I can't believe people like this so much like wow! Ily all so much!