Quinn's Chronicles

Passion

When I am in the scanning mood, I will outperform any practitioner using tools. Sometimes though I wish I weren't seen as a divination tool, being as psychic as I am. This is one of the costs for revealing that I am a practitioner among neophytes, having revealed the possession of this desirable skill. I wish that others would learn how to do things for themselves. I have no issues with performing readings for readings or readings for practice, but out of the blue when someone asks to confirm something, they see not that I am not in the mood to put forth energy into looking into a future that may not come to pass, or confirm something trivial. They see not the tired jackal that is experiencing their own quarrels. I still would not trade this gift of mine for anything.

Often I am guilty of pushing those that claim absurdities to reveal their truths. I cannot stand to see the spreads of what is clearly false information or malice to be heard by my peers. When I am presented with information that I repeat to myself, often there is a hidden truth. I am likely to resist an aggressive individual with passive aggression. If I am met with a problem, I am guilty of taking the path of least resistance than to further disrupt the peace, for I do not fully comprehend the strength of my words and actions.

I welcome a partner to delve into the depths of my mind to reveal my hidden desires. I welcome the attention for the reassurances of love and contempt. I desire somewhat to be while consented, broken through pleasure, my mind to be twisted and warped in sensual ways. I am addicted to this intimacy that I share with others that I can project with. I enjoy being in the presence of those whom sense their phantom limbs, and I desire to reach and have been reached deep into the soul.

Living with someone is much different than seeing someone for an hour or a night. Often we find ourselves most comfortable when we are in the act of searching for significant others and concubines than to be bound to an entity through marriage. Often embarrassment and shame is where the chains of a relationship break.

I admit, not knowing my own happiness and drives, to place forth the reason to continue existing in my current lover had in itself been quite a painful fate through dependence and heartbreak. I began to see the expectations than to appreciate the reality of my circumstances. I could no longer see the reality of my situation for being so blinded by love. I wish that breaking out of loops and scripts were easy, I wish change were easy. Sometimes I had pushed others away because in my perception I believed that, either the other was no longer good for me or that we needed to be apart, for one reason or another through the perception of my self hatred. Most of these thoughts have been self destructive and there are many things said that I regret. Even walking among men as an awakened star, I am not absent of fault and error. Even I forget things. I may even be more broken than these sheep for the awareness of all that I am, continuing my growth at levels beyond mundane capacity.

I had taken care of my partners in many ways, financially, emotionally, physically; I would cook and be watched in the hopes that my lover would benefit from my methods. I imposed my perception upon a lover that I wish that I hadn't given so much of myself away to. I was starting to become someone I didn't want to be. Had I not fallen for the illusions of others before the times of my lovers, I may still have many of my possessions that I held dear. I might not have exploited my accesses to reveal the truths that were unsaid. I experienced paranoia against those wanting to abuse me.

I am known to spiritually act on the actions I text to others. Often I will go out of my way to bring hugs to those that are likely welcoming of it at random to further practice my skill at projection. Often it's best when the time is night and the neighbors are sound asleep, I find that I get cleaner psychic signals during this time.

What if I don't want the Albino Lioness to leave my side when I reach the place of peace?

I have had times when I am living with the Albino Lioness and Mother Lilith. Many pasts have been spent at Coven in their love and care when I couldn't receive it from my mundane families. It took some time before I was able to finally cuddle up to them, and I didn't want it to end.

I don't want this to end between me and the Albino Lioness. Though I am afraid of the future, afraid to become someone I never thought I'd become, afraid to hurt and be hurt. Perhaps as I begin to love the Albino Lioness further and with further comfort, I will be able to rest these spontaneous thoughts the most of which not acted upon, and these fears of acting like the bastard I never want to be. I admit to being sometimes louder than intended, more dramatic than intended. Some things are better left unsaid. Some things I wish to speak out about as I am locked in this mental prison unable to quote the words of my mind.