Secret Letters

Secret Letters Part 4

JAYLA- 2 WEEKS LATER

Have you ever woken up feeling suddenly depressed? Today, it was pouring rain. Sheets of rain fell from the sky. The rain made me feel so sad. I didn’t know why but it did. I didn’t want to be indoors. I wanted to be outside in the rain. I didn’t have class today so I got dressed in a black shirt and jean shorts. I stood under the awning and watched as the rain poured. It was loud as it fell to the ground. Suddenly, I found myself slowly inching towards the rain, leaving the protection of the awning. I first let my hand out and the cold rain felt good on my skin. I then stood out of the awning and was soaked immediately. It felt good; I looked up and closed my eyes.

I sat at the empty bench and sat in the rain. I didn’t notice but I was crying. I didn’t even know why I was. I just cried and I cried hard. Almost as hard as the rain that fell from the sky. It almost felt like the winged seraphs were crying with me.

This depression I felt, I didn’t know what was causing it. Maybe it was everything that happened to me. The taunting in high school, the bullying, my broken heart from Sebastian, missing my friends and family. It was like I bottled up these emotions for too long that it finally burst open. Even with Landon, I wasn’t quite happy. He was there for me but I still felt lonely. Alone for once. It was my fault for secluding myself. It made sense to me now. Why did I push people away to save me pain, when all I did was cause pain to myself? I did this all to myself. Now I had to endure it. There was no way I could go back to Cali now. It would be a hassle to move back. My parents wouldn’t allow it. I thought I was strong but I wasn’t.

No. I wouldn’t go back. As much as I wanted to, I wouldn’t go. I just have to endure the pain and make new friends.

The rain didn’t let up, it kept pouring. But I wasn’t getting soaked, I looked up and a large black umbrella was above me. “Sebastian?” I asked. The boy really did look like Sebastian, but my vision was a little blurry from the rain and crying. But it wasn’t Sebastian. It was Landon. He frowned at me. “What’d you say?” he said over the rain. I shook my head. A part of me wanted it to be Sebastian. “What’s wrong Jayla?” Landon said, taking a seat next to me. I hope he couldn’t tell I was crying. “Nothing.” I said. “Then why are you sitting in the rain?” he said, his voice concerned. “I do this a lot. I’m fine.” I lied. Landon looked disbelieving. It was like he could see past my façade. “No you’re not.” He said. I didn’t say anything. Landon held my cheek. He put down the umbrella and then he too was soaked. He just smiled at me. My chest began to ache. This is what I needed, what I wanted since I met him.

I leaned closer to him and he met me half way. His lips pecked my softly, then he kissed me harder. Landon held my cheek and the back of my neck, bringing me closer to him. He then planted soft kisses on my lips, my arms going around his neck. I kissed him with more force, I didn’t want soft kisses. Not now. He took that response and kissed me with a burning desire.

Then finally, out of breath, we pulled away. Breathing hard, we stared at each other. Landon smiled at me. I suddenly felt guilty. Was Landon a rebound or did I really like him like him? He pulled me into a hug, resting his head on mine. I really did like him. I closed my eyes and leaned into him. I really did like him and I started to feel better. I would continue my future here. Hopefully with Landon by my side every step of the way.

I looked up and Landon looked me in the eyes. I smiled and so did Landon. He looked pale, but his lips were pink and his eyes shining brightly. Landon looked like he could have been modeling in the rain. I looked at his attire; he wore dark jeans and a black pea coat. Yes, he definitely looked like he could have been in a middle of a photo shoot. I probably looked like a wet mess. Landon moved my hair out of my eyes and yelled “Let’s get you dry and then I want you meet someone.” He said over the loud rain fall. “Okay.” I said and began to stand. Landon wrapped his arm around me and walked me to the dorms. “I’ll go home and change okay and I’ll come to pick you up in an hour.” He said. “Okay. Do I need to dress up?” I asked. “No just dress casual.” He smiled and kissed me hard, taking my breath away. Landon pulled away and kissed me softly many times, as if he didn’t want to stop. “I’ll be back.” He said. I just nodded a little dazed.