ᥴꪖꪶꪶ ꪑꫀ B.E

52

Date 7/24/20
Bro thank u to everyone that comments bcuz y'all make it like 10x better. To the ppl who don't- stop being a lazy mf✨🙃

~
Y/n pov

I woke up in the hospital. Connected to some cords on my wrist. I found out the hard way waking up in these places were never a good thing. You either accidentally did it or purposely did it. All I fucking know is I feel nauseous and like shit. Billie was sleep curled up in a ball on couch. She seemed ok so it couldn't be that bad.

I rang the nurse so I could  get some fucking pain killers because my head hurts so fucking bad. "Hi. is there anything you need"

"Yes pain killers please" I say desperate

"I'm sorry but um we're going to wait a few hours before giving you any type of drugs. You took in a lot and it's not really safe for you to take any at the moment"

"Well is there anything you can give me? I feel like fucking shit"

"No not at this time but I can bring you water?"

"Yea sure" bullshit. Water isn't gonna do anything. I fucking hate being here bro. Billie got up and crawled into the bed. She didn't say anything so I don't know how she feels right now.

"You're a fucking asshole" she mumbles.

"I didn't mean for it to happen...it just did" I told her softly because my head felt like shit.

"You lied to me" she says looking at me.

"I am trying"

"No youre not. You bought more when we got there. You promised. You promised that you would stop" she said raising her voice.

"Yea because it's hard. I've been doing this shit for years. You wouldn't understand though things are always easy for you anyways" I said annoyed.

"You think this is easy for me? I thought you were gonna fucking die. You're fucking dick ass is ask all I have. When you're dumb ass is dead what the fuck am I supposed to do? You never think shit through and you never care I feel. You can't be in a relationship and be selfish with you're actions-" she seemed pretty hurt like as if she was gonna cry but stopped herself from going on so it didn't happen.

"I-"

"No shut up you don't get to speak anymore" she lays her head on my chest and I grabbed my phone from off the table. "I called your mom"

"You what!?!" I said sitting up quickly. "Fuck nooo. You talking about me. what were YOU thinking"

"I was thinking that I should ask if your mom was needed and they said I could call if I wanted to and I wanted to"

"Brooo how did you even get her number?"

"I have access to your phone...not that hard" she said rolling her eyes. "Plus you don't really hate your mom because if you did you would've blocked and deleted her number. You still talk to her too I read the messages"

"You're nosy" I said laughing but then stopped because of my head.

"I mean it wasn't really anything but hi and bye's and how are you's"

"You realize she text me first?"

"So she's obviously trying"

"I don't call it trying. I mean bil she kicked me out. It's just her trying to see if I'm gonna give in to come back home"

"Well she has a right to know what happened. She's about 2 hours away but she said she coming as fast as she can"

"I bet she is" I mumble.

"I told you no talking" she said grabbing onto my face. I laughed but quickly stopped because it made my head feel worst. "You fucked up my birthday a lot. What about MY birthday party that I'm hosting tonight"

"You know how many times I been in these bitches? I'll take these fucking needles out myself and grab my shit and walk out. I have a right to. Fuck hospitals not giving me pain killers. Take my own pain killers when I get home"I said sitting up.

"I wouldn't give you any either. You're not responsible"

"I am though"

"You love me right?"

"Yea. I say it all the time"

"Well if you really fucking love me you would stop doing drugs and go to rehab. I've let you get away with it so many times and I'm serious this time. I can't just watch you die. Shit is depressing. For real. You don't listen to me when i talk about. Last time you said I was being over dramatic. I mean you overdosed and you still don't care. This relationship has been the most healthiest I've ever been in so please don't let drugs here between us just because you wanna be selfish"

"Rehab?....I mean I don't think I need rehab to be honest" I said scratching my head. "I don't think it that serious...but you're right though I would like do anything to benefit us but I just don't wanna be weeks away at time. Fuck treatments. They just force you to learn how to not think about how you really feel"

"I don't fucking care. You have a problem. Ive tried letting you do it yourself. If you actually cared you would get help because this is that last I'll ever be in the hospital because you wanna do fuck shit. So I suggest- actually I'm telling you to go"

"I'll think about it"  the nurse then came in with the water. "Aye. About time. Thank you" i said slowly taking the cup. "Holy shit it's cold". There was then a knock at the door. "Yo is it my pain killers?" The door opened and it was my mom. "Oh fuck..wait you got some Advil"

"No!" Billie and my mom say yo me angrily.

"Ok damn. I was asking"

Date 7/30/20

Bro so like a few weeks ago I thought wine was juice and I took a big ass sip and I thought I was gonna fucking dieeeeee. Like I was nauseous and I had heart burn and everything. So todayyyyyttt I was like well maybe it taste different this time.  No! Shit still taste like fucking acid. So then after that people was telling me to try mixing it and I was like eh...ok? But Ian have juice but I had popsicles so I dipped it in the wine and like they were right- yo the shit kinda hitssss.  Wonder  how it taste with a my fruit juice.... ANYWAYS SKI MASK IS FINE OMGGG