SMALL TALK | Shirbert

{11} Never Really Over

{Title of the chapter from Never Really Over by Katy Perry}

August 23, 2019

The last six weeks passed very quickly. It was nice to live like they were in 2015 again like nothing ever happened. There were not many house parties –not one actually- after the one in which Rayna threw her drink at Anne, but they kept finding ways to hang out together.

Winifred and Jerry went back to Paris at the end of July, and Gilbert had another week before he had to leave too and start his second to last year of university –finally-. He and Anne had been getting along well, there was still this… awkwardness when they were alone, just the two of them, but they quickly fell into their old group dynamic when they were with their friends.

Anne still thought about Rayna, she missed having someone, and Ray seemed to truly regret what happened, she could give her a second chance. After all, she was better than to be completely alone again. But no, she could not do that again, she likes Rayna, but the more she thinks about it she realizes she does not love her, and being with her just so she is not alone was a very mean to do, and she already did that with Billy after Gilbert left.

Gilbert.

Gilbert Blythe.

Gilbert, she missed him, so much, she could not stop thinking about him either after that dream, how easily she would fall back into his arms if he did the bare minimum. He only had to say it, and she would go back to him, because it is him, it has always been Gilbert. She could not do that to him, she already broke his heart, he forgave her, but that does not mean they should be back together. No matter how much she wants to.

Today was one of those days she felt like the world was plotting against her. She decided to hide at Green Gables, Marilla and Matthew knew her well, and they also knew not to ask question and wait for her to come to them. He was leaving again, and she had enjoyed this summer so much. These past two months have been the best two months in four years, she wants to believe it is not because of him, because of Gilbert, but what else could it be? Certainly not Winifred and Jerry, even though she liked them, she was not feeling like this when they were about to leave and even less after they left. It had to be him. It is always him. Why does it always have to be him?

Why can’t I get over you?

Hiding was probably not the best thing to do, but Anne knew Cole and Diana would interrogate her about what is happening to her. She loves them, a lot, but she needed to be alone. Marilla asked her why she was there two days ago when she arrived since it was very unusual for her to go there unannounced –nowadays, when she still lived with her parents Anne used to go to Green Gables almost every day-, Anne told her she wanted to get away from the city for a few days, which was not technically a lie, but it was not the whole truth, and Marilla knew that, but she would not push her. Matthew knew something was wrong the second he came inside and saw Anne sitting on his armchair with a book and a cup of tea on the table next to her. Anne did not like tea –that much-, she only drinks it when she is feeling nervous because tea relaxes her. He just sat on the couch next to her and started reading his own book without asking any questions either.

They were waiting for the moment Gilbert Blythe was going to visit them after Anne told them he was back in town for the summer. He thought it was very weird for the ex-boyfriend of their daughter to still come to their house, so he only went once when Anne was working and he saw Marilla a few times at the supermarket.

The moment Gilbert knew Anne had been at Green Gables for two days, he decided to pay the Cuthberts a visit. Matthew was at the kitchen when he heard a knock on the door and then another. He still felt a bit uncomfortable around the elder man, but it was nothing compared to what it was before. Gilbert started to go to Green Gables a lot after they first met and Matthew had opened up more to him. They went from only greetings to each other to actually talk sometimes about their families, and when Matthew was feeling talkative, they talked about hockey or Anne.