Secrets [NAMJIN]

2

It had been one week since Seokjin gave the speech and talked to the public. He was right now in the library reading some books. Yoongi sat opposite him doing work on his laptop. Yoongi looked up and saw Seokjin actually reading a gay novel. Yoongi rolled his eyes, "I thought you were doing some research or something."

Seokjin looked up from the book. He was wearing a casual black t-shirt and ripped jeans. He shrugged, "Let me live, Yoongi-chi. I can't actually go out and be like a normal 38 years old."

Yoongi shook his head, "Then get married."

Seokjin closed the book and sighed, "You know I am married. We never actually divorced. So leave me alone."

Yoongi looked at with guilt, "I am sorry. But you can at least hook up?"

Seokjin shook his head, "I have hurt him enough. I don't want to cheat on him too."

Yoongi knew this was unreasonable. The older man was always overworked and when he was not working, he would read or watch movies or just sleep. "What if he hooked up in these years? What if he has another partner?"

Seokjin smiled sadly, "It's his choice. I don't-" He took a deep breath to control his emotions. "Let's not talk about it now."

Yoongi sighed, "You know he permanently moved to Seoul. Why don't you give him closure or maybe try to get back with him?"

Seokjin chuckled and got up. He put the book back on the shelf and turned to Yoongi, "I don't deserve a second chance after what I did. And it's too late for closure. I am going to the cafe, you can go home. I am done for today."

Yoongi nodded and closed his laptop. He took the phone out and called someone, "Hey babe. I am going home."

That's great. I actually got free early too. Let's make dinner together.

Yoongi looked at Seokjin getting in the car and giving instructions to his driver and smiled sadly, "Yes, I actually have something to tell you."

~

"I'll have one camomile tea." Two people spoke at once. Seokjin looked at the person and smiled, "Nice to meet you young lady."

"Oh, Hello. Nice to meet you too." The girl bowed and smiled. Ah, Seokjin had forgotten about her dimples. "You like camomile tea too?"

Seokjin chuckled, "Yes. It helps me calm down."

The girl nodded. "Me too. My dad says coffee is better than tea, but I like tea better."

Seokjin smiled easily, "Right? Tea squad." He high fived the girls and giggled.

The girl laughed too, "You are much cooler for your age."

Seokjin's eyes went wide, "Yah! I am still young. What do you mean my age?"

The girl laughed louder, "I am sorry."

Seokjin felt his heart melt immediately. "Let's sit together."

The girl nodded and yelled a yes. Seokjin was happy that the girl was equally excited.

They took the order and sat on a seat beside the huge window. The girl sat and sighed, "It's nice weather."

Seokjin nodded. He looked at the girl and smiled, "I never knew your name."

The girl scratched her head in embarrassment, "Ah. I am sorry." She bowed her head, "I am Kim Eunha."

Seokjin's smile faded a bit but he recovered immediately, "Eunha. That's a nice name. Do you know what it means?"

The girl smiled brighter and nodded, "It means the galaxy. Dad says I am his only family, besides his few friends. And also that I am his whole galaxy. So he literally named me Eunha."

Seokjin smiled with tears in his eyes, "I had a daughter who would be almost your age if I didn't leave her. It's like I can see her in you."

Eunha looked down on her tea, "Why did you leave her?"

Seokjin looked out of the window, "Because I was coward and stupid. I hope she forgives me if I meet her."

Eunha smiled, "If you had the right reason, I am sure she will."

Seokjin smiled and they drank their tea in a comfortable silence. Some time after there was a car in front of the cafe and Eunha stood up. "That would be my ride. Thank you for the company a-ahjussi."

Seokjin smiled, "It's my pleasure to be with you young lady. Take care." Eunha bowed and left the cafe. Seokjin sighed and sank in his chair closing his eyes and smiling. After a few minutes he got up and went home.

~

The clouds were roaring. There was heavy rain. Namjoon sat on his chair and looked outside the window at the rain. He sighed and took a sip from his coffee. He started to write on his laptop. This weather was best to write a chapter. Maybe a murder or an angst. In his novels, the rain always meant a bad omen or an angst coming. Many fans and journalists had asked him about it and his answer was simple. "For me, the rain means sadness. It has never meant anything else." Which was completely false. Many years ago, he had related rains as being the most beautiful thing nature had ever invented.

He was deep in his writing when his phone rang. He looked at the caller and smiled. "Hello."

Yah! Namjoon-ah! You came to Seoul and didn't call me? Am I a stranger to you?

He chuckled, "Sorry noona. I thought mom would not like me talking to you."

There was a silence on the other side for a few moments. "About that, Joon-ah. Eomma is in the hospital. She had a heart stroke and doctors said she won't last long. Please visit her, Joonie. You know you always were her favourite kid."

Namjoon's breath hitched and he closed his eyes, "I will noona. I will come after my lecture tomorrow at the university."

What lecture?

Namjoon sighed, "The university I passed out of gave me an offer to take english lectures as the permanent professor. I took up the job."

I am so proud of you Joonie. Noona is always proud of you.

Namjoon smiled through his tears, "I know. I'll see you tomorrow." he cut the call and held his head in his hands and started crying bitterly.