Secrets [NAMJIN]

17

Namjoon sat in the cafe waiting for Yoongi to come and join him. He was also making some changes in his draft as ordered by the court so that it can go into publication again. The day was serene and beautiful. It was Christmas Eve and everything around him was colourful and jolly.

The door opened and Namjoon smiled as he saw Yoongi come in. He closed his laptop and greeted Yoongi with a warm hug. "I am glad you wanted to hang out."

Yoongi nodded and sat on the opposite chair, "Got my day off today and Hoseok has three cases back to back. So."

"So I was your second option." Namjoon said teasingly.

Yoongi shook his head, "No, no. You were the fourth choice actually. I called vmin but they were busy and I would rather not the third wheel them."

Namjoon gasped and pouted.

Yoongi chuckled and took his cup to take a sip. "If you don't mind, I would like to ask a question."

Namjoon raised his eyebrows and nodded, "Sure, go on."

Yoongi leaned back, "Why did you come back? Why now? Eunha is in her final years of schooling, you were not having any problems in the states. I hope you have a solid reason."

Namjoon chuckled and smiled sadly, "I knew you would be the first one to catch up." He sighed, "When I was in the states, I met Seokjin hyung's relative. He told me that hyung had cut all the ties with the family because he made a scene at the family function. In the function, he claimed that Mr Kim had ruined his life. So I think he is the reason why hyung left us but what was so huge that he had to leave us without giving any explanation. He knew our bond was so strong that we would have talked any situation out. He didn't tell me the reason. So this must be pretty huge."

Namjoon looked at Yoongi, "I wanna know the reason."

Yoongi huffed, "You didn't let him talk the day you lashed out in him."

Namjoon nodded and looked at his lap, "I wasn't ready for it. It came so suddenly. I didn't- I didn't want to lash out on him. I just lost my control."

Yoongi nodded and covered Namjoon's hand with his own, "Whatever it is, complete it soon. I can't watch hyung being miserable. I hope you can make a difference in 12 years of depression."

Namjoon nodded, "I'll try my best."

Yoongi nodded and smiled, "Oh, I almost forgot. Hoseok and I have decided have a baby with the help of surrogacy."

Namjoon gasped and covered his mouth with his hands, "Waah! Really? That's great! Congratulations."

Yoongi chuckled and was about to thank him when they heard a loud gasp from Yoongi's back. "Really? I'm going to be a big sister?"

They looked back and found an over-excited Eunha. She jumped and sat beside Namjoon, "I'll be a big sister. I hope the baby is a boy. So I can bully him."

Yoongi laughed and shook his head, "Wow, I'll have to keep the baby away from you."

Eunha slammed her hand on the table and leaned back, "You can't. I know you will call me to babysit them when you and Hobi samchon would want alone time."

Yoongi laughed again and shrugged, "Who wouldn't like a free babysitter?"

"I'll take money from you samchon. Just wait and watch." Eunha said and folded her hand in front of her chest.

~

He came home drunk again.

I can’t do this anymore. I took a notepad and wrote the note for him when he wakes up and started writing.

Dear Seokjun,
I can’t do this anymore. You came home drunk again. I am leaving you. Please don’t come to me. I don’t know when the love between us faded for you. I don’t know when I became a burden to you. But I know one thing, that if I stay here any more, I will go insane and either kill myself or kill you. So I am leaving for my parents’ house. I don’t know if they will take me in or not. But if they don’t I don’t know where I’ll go.

Seokjun, please take care of yourself.

I love you.

Jiwoo.

Heartbreak.

I didn’t cry. Because my tears had dried off. I just looked at the note on the fridge and sighed.

I woke up to the noise of a siren. I looked at the clock. It was 12 in the noon. I slept in too much today. Maybe because I slept peacefully after too many months. My parents obviously took me in. After all, I am their daughter. The siren broke my chain of thoughts again and I panicked. Because the first thought was of my parents being in danger. I ran down in my nightgown to find both of them alright. They looked at me with a worried expression and then shook their heads. There were medical staff and police officers. An officer looked at me and asked, “Are you Mrs Do Jiwoo?”

I nodded and they took me out of the house. I felt weak in my knees as I saw Seokjun there. Lying on the stretcher and covered with blood. The doctor looked at me and explained, “He met an accident while coming here. He pleaded to see you first.” I went near him and held his hand, “Seokjun?”

He opened his eyes and smiled. A tear ran down his face. “I know it is late, but please forgive me. Please. I ask for forgiveness selfishly. I know I won’t make it. Please forgive me Jiwoo-yah. I am really sorry. I love you.”

Tears

After months, I felt a great rush of tears overflowing through my eyes. I cried so hard. His hand came to my cheeks to whip the tears off, “Don’t cry, baby. I like it when you smile.”

More tears fell off my eyes and I cried harder. “I am sorry. I am sorry for leaving you. I am sorry.” Strangely, I didn’t want to forgive him. I knew as soon as I forgave him, he would give up the battle with life and embrace death. Selfishly I wanted to stall the moment. But I couldn’t control my tongue, “I forgive you Seokjunie. Please don’t do this to me. Please hold on to our life.”

Seokjun smiled through his tears and told me to lean down. He pecked me on my lips and as soon as I was about to respond, he fell numb.

Seokjin was in tears as he finished the novel. Namjoon’s first novel. He knew the protagonist was based on him and that he was just a big jerk like the protagonist in the novel. He would have given up on them sooner or later.

Yoongi came and saw Seokjin’s puffy teary eyes and then his sight fell on the book on his table. He sighed and walked to him and took the book and put it back in the self. “Why do you hurt yourself by reading this again and again?”

Seokjin chuckled and took a deep breath through his mouth, “I deserve the pain.”

Yoongi rolled his eyes and hugged him, “Bullshit! You don’t deserve half of the crap you put yourself into.” Seokjin sniffled and broke the hug. He got up, took his car keys and wallet and headed out. “Where are you going?” Yoongi asked, trying to stop him.

Seokjin waved his hand, “Don’t worry about me. Go home to your husband. Merry Christmas.”

Seokjin got in the car and started driving home when suddenly a thought crossed his mind. If Jiwoo forgave Seokjun when he had an accident, then...