I am my destiny

Chapter 1

My beginning

Ann-Marie grew up in a small town along the coast of Costa Rico. Her most cherished memories were running along the beach shore, with her best friend Lateisha and playing in the beautiful aqua beach on a hot summer day. The sun glowed on her rich melanin skin, which made her look majestic. She had long beautiful black hair that is most times plat in two ponytails that extended below her shoulder. She was the true definition of 'Black is beauty'. She had a smile that could light the world even from miles and miles away. Her eyes sparkled like the night sky with eyes so bright and beautiful but buried deep in her heart was pain, pain that was just unexplainable and sometimes unbearable. Her childhood wasn't always the best but she refused to live in the past of bad memories, instead, she decided to embrace the positive.

Her mother and father died in a car accident when she was two years old, so, she has little to no memory of the times they spent together. Ann-Marie is 12 years old and lived with her grandparents. Their love for her made her feel at peace and loved, however, at time she has a sense of sadness in her heart whenever she thinks about her parents. Sometimes she wish she could halt the pain she felt because sometimes it feels so unbearable that the tears comes flooding down her cheeks. She wondered 'will I ever have a shot at being truly and completely happy?'.

Ann-Marie didn't have much friends except for Lateisha, who was always there for her. Ann-Marie and Lateisha met at the age of four in kindergarden, she was always reserved and no one talked to her until Lateisha transferred to the same school that Ann-Marie attended. They became friends almost instantly. Lateisha entered the classroom wearing a black blouse with a big pink heart on the front that wrote ' My heart is filled with love for you', the teacher introduced Lateisha to the class and at that point Ann-Marie held her head up and to her surprise Lateisha was wearing the same exact blouse as her, at that point they both noticed and they looked at each other and smiled and that was the beginning of a new friendship. Lateisha had beautiful brown eyes, long black hair and a personality that could turn a bad day into an awesome one. 

As they explored their new friendship that day, they realized they had a lot in common and they were going to be neighbors. Ann-Marie felt like something was going right in her life, she felt like God has sent her a best friend to keep her company. Things got easier having a friend around to play with and to share special moments with. Lateisha was the opposite of Ann-Marie, as she wasn't afraid to stand up for herself, she was always cheerful and full of life.  From the day they met, they became inseparable. Before Lateisha became apart of Ann-Marie's life, she never thought about having a best friend. The children at school and in her neighborhood made fun of her because of her braces, so, having friends wasn't something she went searching for but luckily she didn't have to search, true friendship found her instead. Lateisha hated to see the other children make fun of her best friend and she was always ready to defend her, as a true best friend would.

Ann-Marie loved her Grandparents, she considered them to be a blessing in her life since all she knew from a very tender age was heartache. The thought of losing her grandparents was devastating, she can't imagine a life without their love, support or guidance. She enjoyed sitting on the porch with her grandfather as he sang and played the guitar. He had a voice that was so melodious and breath taking, his voice was so calm that even after a difficult day, Ann-Marie felt at peace. He always reminded her that "You are your own destiny and you should never let people comments, attitude or judgements get the best of you because you are a fighter and you can be anyone or achieve anything you put your mind to". Every morning as she get dressed for school she would look herself in the mirror and repeat " I am beautiful, I am strong, I can be anything I put my mind to, today will be a good day''. These words has resonated with her throughout her life, it has helped her to take charge of her life and the person she is aiming to be.

One day while walking home from school, Ann-Marie and Lateisha was passing by a neighbors house and saw the kids playing with their dog, suddenly Ann-Marie smile quickly disappeared and sadness filled her eyes, Lateisha noticed the sudden change in Ann-Marie's behavior and thought that maybe she just didn't like dogs but rather than jumping to conclusion Lateisha decide to inquire what was causing Ann-Marie's sadness and that's when she learnt that Ann-Marie mom and dad had a dog named princess, who became a very important part of her life after her parents died, however, two years ago he died and she was devastated, she was the only friend Ann-Marie had before she met Lateisha. She cried for days, she felt as though part of her was missing, her heart was aching as if someone pierced it with a dagger. She asked herself  "why me, why does my life has to be this hard"?

Ann-Marie Grandparents always encouraged her to look at the happy moments in her life and cherish them as much as possible and to use the bad memories as a motivation to push through the barriers she face in life. For such a young girl, she has endured so many heartaches that no child should have to go through. Despite what life thrown at her, Ann-Marie had a genuine heart and a passion for helping others. It was natural for her, helping others gives her a sense of belonging, it also brings her happiness, a happiness that fills her heart and help her to forget about the bad things that has happen in her life. She would volunteer her weekends helping the less fortunate within her community. This has helped her over the years to realized how lucky she is, regardless of the things that happened in her life. She thought to herself, if she can help someone have an awesome day, then she can prevent them from feeling sad. She wanted to put a smile on others face and give them hope that someone cares.

Despite being bullied, Ann-Marie loved school, her teachers were amazing and she felt like she had persons she could rely on, except from her best friend and grandparents. She worked very hard in school even though it wasn't what she expected. She felt like no matter how hard she try it still wasn't good enough, she would still get C in her overall grades. Her grandparents didn't understand much about the work given in school, so at home she didn't have much help. Her grandparents sent her to lessons with hopes that her grades will improve, however, she never felt more lost. She felt as though she had no understanding and she couldn't comprehend what was being taught. When she gets home and had assignments to do, if she don't understand she didn't have anyone to help her in that regards. She felt like she was in a bubble floating around and watching everyone around her doing their work and understanding what needs to be done but with her its like being on another planet and she was fighting to survive.

Have you ever felt lonely even when you're surrounded by people who loves and care about you? she asked Lateisha but Lateisha couldn't relate to how Ann-Marie felt because she never knew what it felt like to lose the ones who mean more to her than life itself. Ann-Marie wish she could shut her feelings off, she wish she could really enjoy life to the fullest and don't worry about anything but no matter her hard she try its like she is never strong enough to break through the barriers to freedom. People always saw Ann-Marie as a happy child who was always smiling, she always looked so happy and always saw the best in others but little did they know how much she was hurting. She had so many questions about life that she wish someone could answer but only God could give her the answers she's really looking for. Love is a beautiful thing, she thought to herself ' if I could love someone deeply and wholeheartedly one day, just as much as my grandparents love each other then my heartache will only be a memory because love conquers all'. This sure is a lonely world if you have no one to enjoy it with, she had family and a friend who loves her and yet she still felt lonely, she wondered if she was being unappreciative for feeling the way she did but then again she had little to no control over her sadness unless she forgot about the past and her parents and that's something she is not ready to put behind her.