the greatest tragedy. ↣a bar tending for jesus fanfic↢

The Final Chapter

Marcus's evil twin- Marcuz, glared across the battlefield, locking eyes with his brother. He always knew this day would come. 

Meanwhile, Jazmin and Ava stood back to back, each armed with their favorite Glock 47 40 Calibers. They shot into the crowd of random teenagers that Claire had summoned with her socializing powers. 

Marcus skittered across the yard, leaping through the glass. (slicing open his arm but it was totally worth it because it was so hecking hawt.) 

Marcuz smirked at him, "It's been a while, brother." 

"Well clearly," Marcus said, revolted by Marcuz's harrowing face, "You tried to eat my fetus in the womb, I will never forgive you."

"I was just trying to survive! There's not room for the two of us in this world."

"I couldn't agree more."

"Oh also I'm possessed by an all powerful fire demon and I'm dating a werewolf."

"Well then," Marcus looked around for garlic but quickly realized that it wouldn't help him, "It's a good thing I've got the holy spirit!"

"FOR MATT!" Screamed Jazmin, appearing behind Marcus and dumping a bucket of water on Marcuz. 

"Water?" questioned Marcuz, beginning to laugh, "That's all you've got? I mean it's rather cold, but that's pretty much it."

Then, when all seemed lost, he sneezed. 

"Achoo!"

"Bless you." Said Marcus. 

Suddenly the water began to glow beige and marcuz started screaming as the water- now thoroughly blessed- began melting away at his spirit. 

Lilly and Claire shot into the flock of parakeets, who took most of the shots away from the bartenders. Parakeets fell to the grass, speckling the ground with their bright yellow corpses. 

Ava loaded her catapult with Jon's firework collection that she had confiscated earlier that day.  She launched it at the house, setting it ablaze. 

"Lilly?!" Screamed Claire Intensely.

"What is it?!" Lilly shouted over the sound of chaos. 

"We're out of ammo!"

"Gosh darn it!" 

The sound of Bean and Jon's spare spacecraft stunned them to silence before they could form a new plan. Jon lowered a rope and Sophie slid down it, shooting Lilly and Claire with tranquilizer darts that she had made earlier. 

"Heard you guys might need some help!" she shouted, waving at Ava and Jazmin. 

Jazmin kicked down the door to the house, even though it was burnt down and Marcus had already smashed in the window. 

The squad moved in and found the donuts, still in pristine shape and orange color, in the fridge. Though they were a bit cold and one had a chomp mark- possibly Marcuz's- they seemed perfect. 

"Well boys, I think we did it." Said Jazmin patting her comrades on the shoulders. 

The Trio looked at each other and had a glorious group hug. Minus Marcus of course because he doesn't like hugs and the second Jazmin's manly grip was off of his shoulder he hit the floor. He lost a lot of blood and was not really built for combat. Twitter politics were more his style. 

Jazmin and Ava dragged his feinted body to the ship and Jon and Bean blasted them back to the church. They dumped Marcus in the freezer and set the donuts out just in time. 

Gale walked in and saw the two girls, donned with their hot and hotter water necklaces. 

"Good Work girls. Where's Marcus, by the way?"

"uhhhh..." They looked at each other, "dead?"

Gale sighed, "you girls bully that boy. i'm docking your pay."

"we're volunteers-"

"One more thing...where are the cinnamon rolls?"

dang it. 

"In the freezer with Marcus's unconscious body!" Shouted Bean, munching on his donut. 

"WHAT?!" 

Matt burst in to the church, "Has anyone seen my car?"

The End. 

for real this time. 

or not?

----

(co-written by the real Jazmin. Blessed by the real Marcus. Inspired by true events. Iconic in general.)