Tiny Light

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"I have some business to take care of." Ren said quickly to Dazai before walking out the door.

As soon as she turned down an alley, she tilted her head to the side, a bullet nicking her face. Bringing her hands up to touch it and looking at the few drops of blood on her gloves, she nodded. There were a few more bullets, which she evaded, and a knife came flying towards her face. Concentrating, she stepped to the side and caught its handle between her fingers, the blade right in front of her face, flipping it around a few times.

The shots have been coming from their left hand side, so they're most likely left handed or ambidextrous.

The alley seemed completely dark, but she could sense someone there. Walking into the alley, she immediately found them and lifted them by the collar, grabbing their dominant hand and holding their knife against their throat.

"Tokugawa-kai agents are better than when I last saw them. But do you wanna see what it's like to have your throat slit open?" She hissed threateningly. "I'm not bothered to spill unnecessary blood at the moment, so if you'll excuse me, I have somewhere to be. Try harder to find me next time." She poked them sharply in the temples to daze them, and continued walking towards headquarters.

"Takahashi, I presume you're prepared for our trip. You will also be doing some work there as well, so be prepared. Meet me at the airport at 12am. Since we won't be back for around a week or so, I've made sure that someone else can deal with our work when we're away. I look forward to seeing you there. You are dismissed." Mori smiled and started playing with Elise, which was her cue to get out of his office.

Ren accompanied Gin on a minor task, taking care of a small gang and went straight to her desk, sighing. She knew Mori had someone to complete their tasks, but she couldn't completely trust someone else to do all of her work, so she completed as much as she could and was a yawning mess by the end of it. The sun had risen and fallen by the time she went back to her apartment, and she unlocked the door quickly, dragging her luggage out and calling a Port Mafia vehicle, practically throwing her suitcase into her car and going in.

She took a detour and stopped, leaving her car and quickly going inside a building. Unlocking the door, the place was completely silent. Her footsteps barely made any noise as she made her way through, making sure not to knock anything over on accident. There was a door that was slightly ajar, and she pushed it open slowly. Dazai was asleep, facing the ceiling, his arms sprawled on top of his blanket. The pale moonlight shone through, faintly illuminating his face, and Ren moved closer cautiously. Removing her gloves, she made an effort not to look at her hands as she kneeled next to his bed.

Softly, she sang,

"優しさに触れて (Touched by your kindness)

残る温度 消えないまま (I still feel your warmth)

「愛しい」と言えたら (If I am able to say "you are so precious")

心は軽くなるかな?(Will my heart feel lighter?)

閉ざした扉の向こうで (Behind the closed door,)

微かな声が聴こえてる (I hear a faint voice)

踏み出すことさえも 出来ないから (I can't even step out,)

孤独に寄り添ってる (I am embracing the loneliness)

まだこの胸の中 息づいたまま (Inside my heart, it is still breathing)

小さな灯火のような思いを (The feeling like a tiny light)

風に打たれぬように 雨に濡れないように (So as not to be blown out by the wind or get wet by the rain)

ずっと 抱き締めてた (I kept holding it forever)

ただ 真っ直ぐなまま願う強さも (But the strength to wish the pure emotion)

泣き出しそうになる脆い自分も (The weakness that I was about to cry)

君がいなきゃ 知らなかったんだよ (I wouldn't have known it without you)

偶然の中で 運命を見つけた (I found my fate in a coincidence)

Now I know that you're listening to this, don't play dumb later. I might criticise your weird antics, but the truth is, it's the highlight of my day. I call you childish, but I love it and I think it's really cute sometimes. I'll still nitpick every stupid thing you do, but I won't let anyone hurt you, and I want to dry your tears when you're sad, and smile with you when you're happy. You shine so bright in my colourless world. You made me happy for the first time in a decade. You reached out to me, Ren, and not any other character I play and showed me how wonderful the world can be. You're more precious to me than anything else and I feel like the luckiest person in the world and I still don't feel like I deserve this. But I promise I'll sing you the rest one day, even though my voice sounds... really bad at the moment. And wow you're cute when you're sleeping..." She laughed softly, smiling tenderly as she brushed a lock of hair out of his face. "愛している、太宰。(I love you, Dazai)" 

Her singing voice was soothing and quite. calming, and it felt more affectionate and soft. She cupped his cheek gently for a moment before turning and walking out of his room quickly, scribbling a note and putting it on the table along with his house keys. She quickly moved out and he could hear her engine as she drove off. He opened his eye slightly and yawned, rolling out of bed and wandering aimlessly towards the living room. Blinking a few times to adjust to the darkness, he picked up the note she quickly wrote in neat, flowing handwriting.

"I'm going on a little trip. I'll be fine, so don't worry." He yawned and put it back down on the table.

What shenanigans are you up to this time, Ren?

He knew that she would be fine, but there was still a part of him that was concerned, a part of him that couldn't stop worrying about her safety. Events like this probably didn't bother her, but she still had a crime syndicate gunning for her head and had just disappeared without a hint of where she was going. Her phone was apparently turned off, and there was this sudden sense of loneliness that seemed to hit Dazai like a ton of bricks. It was the same empty void he'd always had, which always left him feeling incomplete, but this time there was also a sense of longing that ate away at his insides, his heart and soul, and he smiled sadly, clutching the note to his chest protectively, as though it would magically bring her back. He still had the memory, and that made him somewhat feel better, but it wasn't as effective. He reached for the lock of hair which she brushed out of his face and held onto it, feeling the faint warmth from her hands, and her last line still replaying in his head, but there was still the thought at the back of his mind that something could happen, reminding him of something he'd said a while ago. "Anything I would never want to lose will be lost. It is given that everything that is worth wanting will be lost the moment I obtain it. There's nothing worth pursuing at the cost of prolonging a life of suffering. Will this be any different? Will I be able to find happiness?" 

"愛している。(I love you)" He whispered to himself as he sat back down on his bed. "Next time I'll say it to your face."

- - -

The reason why I used 愛している is because it's more powerful than using 好き (like) or 大好き (really like/love). It's usually saved for special occasions, and Ren considered it a special occasion because she never really communicates her feelings. Also I kept forgetting to write in translations so I was freaking out. 

The name for this chapter as well as the song is Tiny Light by Kitou Akari. It's a really good song and I've memorised the lyrics. It's told from the perspective of Yashiro Nene (the protagonist of Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun which is the anime where the song is from) and I think the lyrics were relevant to the story, and the promise is as well.

Also it feels weird because I was browsing on Instagram and I saw a bsd height chart thing, and Ren is the tallest female, and is taller than all the other Executives (well Chuuya isn't that tall in the first place) as well as her boss, and is 1cm shorter than Kajii though she more than makes up for it with intimidation. But when I was thinking about how tall she was in her past, when she was around 13 and Dazai was 15 she would have been roughly 10cm taller than him but Dazai managed to grow almost 20cm in a year rip Chuuya. 

Two new organisations next chapter. One of them is based on a real life gang and the other is kinda sorta very loosely based off the Corscian Mafia from Banana Fish.

hoot hoot.

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