notecards | e.c

imessage

When I was in high school, I was much more naive than your average teenage girl. In my mind, my life would splash with color the second I met my first love. Perhaps he would push every girl away and notice me or maybe he'd instantly fall in love with me. Sophomore year Rosalie was finally open to love. Thinking back, I hate the coincidence. I had finally opened up my heart and Luke was the first one?

I knew Luke wasn't interested in me when we first met but I was fully convinced that he at least grew some type of feeling toward me as the years went by. My mind wanted to find ways to understand why he simply wouldn't tell me he was unhappy. A heavy shame fell upon me after a few days as I recalled all the moments I tried to please him. I was a stupid little puppet and nothing more than a baggage for him. An ugly bitterness overtook my body for a whole night, laughing at how life really plays you. There were countless nights 17 year-old Rosalie spent watching Asian dramas and nothing was more irritating than the woman who didn't know when to give up. She acted as though he was her everything, her god. She went to drastic extents to keep him and I detested that. I swore I'd never be like that but isn't that who I essentially became? Maybe not to an extreme but I held on even when I knew deep down I lost him a long time ago.

Though I had a new-found hate toward Luke, I knew there were things we still had to talk about. Most importantly, we both knew we had to talk about filing for divorce. Divorcing at such a young age felt odd and almost predictable. It is so expected for a couple to divorce when they married young... at least that's what's said. We decided on meeting up at a secluded place which very few people knew about. When we were still dating and actually good friends, Luke would bring me to this place to study together but we'd still have fun. We actually tolerated each other and enjoyed the other's company.

As the minutes went by my body grew more anxious. If he didn't show up my embarrassment would eat my body up by the end of day. I was hoping to have him here sooner or later but I'd also rather not see him.

Upon the rapid increase of my anxiety, I concluded that texting him where he was would calm my nerves down. I quietly sighed as I reached for my phone and unlocked it. My thumb hovered over Luke's name and just when I was about to tap on it, a new text message saved me.

Erick
good morning rosalie😌

so i don't wanna be bored during the weekend and i know for a fact you don't wanna be bored either so wanna hang out?

rosita
I'll go just about anywhere rn as long as I'm out of my house

Erick
chevere 😄

btw you never told me how your parents reacted to the news?

rosita
My dad was furious which isn't surprising. My mom looked very hurt. They both liked Luke so it's obvious they're having mixed feelings.

Erick
i wouldn't have mixed feelings. i'd hate him right away.

i DO hate him

rosita
Lol please keep on doing that

Erick
anyway... en serio cómo estás?

rosita
i'm reaching for the okay level.

Erick
what are you doing right now?