The work day was long and hard, and by the time Kurt got home, it was very late. Blaine was still there, at the kitchen table, waiting for him. Kurt spied the stone cold dinner behind him on the kitchen counter and moved to turn the oven on to warm it. Blaine was watching him with an unreadable expression, and Kurt felt a little uncomfortable.
Blaine didn't say a word, he was just watching.
As Kurt placed his dinner in the now warmed oven, he glanced at Blaine to try and gauge his expression but it was neutral, impossible for him to read.
His eyes however, were very expressive, a little anger, disappointment, and maybe sadness.
As Kurt turned to get his now slightly warmer dinner from the oven, and sat his butt in his chair, he sighed. He had been on his feet all day and he wanted to relax.
"We need to talk."
And relaxation was obviously forbidden right now.
"Can this wait until after dinner, I don't have the energy to fight right now." Kurt said with exasperation, as he melted his back against the chair, after being on his feet for hours, he just wanted to take a load off.
"I don't want to fight I want to talk." Blaine said quietly, and Kurt raised his head to stare at him, Blaine still wearing a neutral expression that he couldn't read.
"Since when do we just talk to each other anymore?" Kurt said sarcastically, as he started to eat his dinner, and Blaine sighed.
"Exactly why I wanted to talk."
Kurt raised an eyebrow and his husband's tone, and got up to get a glass of water.
"What?" He asked and Blaine rubbed the back of his neck, before sliding the same palm over his face.
"We don't talk, Kurt," he told him as Kurt sat back down, "all we do is fight and argue, and insult each other, it shouldn't be like that."
As Blaine continued to talk, his voice taking on a sad and resentful tone, Kurt's chest grew tighter and tighter. He could feel the same squeeze around his heart again.
"This isn't a marriage anymore, it's a battlefield," Blaine said sadly, wringing his hands together in front of him, "everyday I come home, with my guard up like a shield, wondering what is going to hit me as soon as I walk through the door, and it shouldn't be that way."
Kurt swallowed one last bite of his dinner, but the way his throat seems to be closing, he doubted he would eat anymore of it tonight. He could feel something coming, his stomach was churning slightly, and his heart was beating painfully hard inside his chest.
He looked up at Blaine, into those regret filled eyes and watched as Blaine's eyes filled with unshed tears.
"I'm sorry, but I want a divorce." Blaine said quietly, and as soon as the words left his lips, Kurt jumped up and ran for the bathroom, to empty his stomach.
"Kurt? Please come out so we can talk." Blaine called through the door, as he had done for the past couple of minutes.
Kurt sat on the floor, shaking his head, in silent protest to whatever Blaine wanted, he wouldn't get up and open that door. he didn't want to face whatever was on the other side. He wanted to stay here, in this moment, unchanged.
He was shaking his head as Blaine kept knocking on the door, but remained silent.
"Kurt, please." Blaine pleaded and Kurt felt numb and sick.
How had his life turned into such a mess?
He placed a hand over his mouth as he felt his chest tighten, and he tried to stifle the first sob, without success. After the first sob, it was relentless, his body wracked and shook with his sobs. His tears falling down his cheeks like a river.
Blaine's knocking had paused, but he could obviously hear what was going on with Kurt, the walls were thin. Footsteps backed away from the door, and quietly padded down the hall, and Kurt sighed a little until they returned, stopping at the door again.
There was a tiny scraping sound, and something being twisted, and then the door was swinging inwards gently, Blaine standing in the doorway, holding the screwdriver.
Oh, the fail safe lock. He remembered now. They had someone install that after Elly locked herself in the bathroom when she was 3 years old, and flooded the apartment. Kurt and Blaine had been so worried that she would do it again, that they had to make some way of opening the door, and they came up with a hole in the frame and a long screwdriver, to twist the lock out of place.
They had painted over the hole in the frame, it hadn't been used for years now.
"Kurt." Blaine said softly as he placed the screwdriver down and stepped into the bathroom, and Kurt kept his eyes down, wanting to look at anything but those sad eyes.
"Don't do this," Blaine said as he moved to kneel in front of him, placing a hand on one of Kurt's shaking knees, "please look at me?"
No, no, anything but those eyes! Kurt's head screamed, but he ignored it and looked up at Blaine's face. Blaine didn't smile at him, and he wasn't frowning but his passive face looked so much sadder and worn out than Kurt had ever seen him.
How hadn't he noticed before? When did he stop caring how upset and tired Blaine looked?
"Kurt, I'm sorry it's come to this, I really am."
Oh god, oh god, stop him, Say something! Tell him you love him, anything!
"We both know that where we are right now, isn't where we thought we would be."
No! Kurt! Open your mouth!
"And I think we've come to a point where we have to say goodbye, it's for the better."
Stop him! Stop him! Promise him things will change, tell him you love him! Don't let him do this Kurt! Hurry! Anything!
"So I think it's best if we go our separate ways." Blaine finished and Kurt remained silent, even though his entire being was screaming at him to move or say something.
Blaine was waiting patiently though, watching him. Knowing Kurt was warring with his own mind right now, and thinking of what to say.
"What erm..." Kurt stumbled over what he was going to say, and what his brain was telling him he needed to say, but he shook his head, and as Blaine squeezed his knee in comfort, he frowned a little, "what made up your mind?"
"What do you mean?" Blaine asked as he watched Kurt's hand remove his own from Kurt's knee, so he decided to kneel with his own hands in his lap.
"When did you start thinking about divorce?"
Blaine raised both eyebrows at the question, and then stared at Kurt incredulously.
"Seriously, how could I not think about it, these last few years?"
Years?
"Don't tell me that you haven't?" Blaine asked and Kurt glared.
"No, never." He replied with a bit of bite, and Blaine paused.
He looked at Kurt, really looked at him, like he was seeing him for the first time in years. Something akin to fondness flickered in his eyes, but it soon faded.
"Kurt, I want a divorce, I can't do this anymore."
Kurt averted his eyes again and nodded. He bit his lip, trying to keep the anguished sobs at bay, but as he choked on a hitched breath, Blaine's arms wrapped around his shoulders tightly and he let go.
He was sobbing uncontrollably, in the arms of the man he had once called his forever. He cried for his husband soon to be ex, he cried for his failed relationship, he cried for everything that would never be fixed.
His whole world was tumbling. And even though the man who was holding him tightly, was the same one who had just pulled the rug out from under his feet, Kurt knew that there was no greater comfort for him right now, than in Blaine's arms.
