Unexpected

4| The Place

I kept crying. I heard a clicking noise and the door swung open. He unlocked it from outside.

"What happened?..." He asked as he rushed toward me and engulfed me in an embrace.

"I embarrassed myself," he sighed.

I told him everything, EVERYTHING. He isn't my bestfriend for nothing.

He tried to tell me it's okay, and things like these doesn't define a person. It doesn't mean Luke is wierded out, it means he isn't wierded out by that at all. And that made complete sense.

He stayed with me and we talked. I have the best brother in the world.
We kept talking, he told me how today I got to know how good Luke is. Helping a girl in her weakest point is a +1, he said.

"This also means, he care about you. If it was any other girl he would just send someone to tell her. But because he is your friend and clearly cares about you, he didn't wanted to think he didn't helped you when you needed the most."

"Did Luke told you this." He nodded.

And I didn't knew when I slept.

Third day of period and here I am under my same old comforter on the couch in the living room. I ate dark chocolate while watching "To all the boys I've loved before." Carver walked in "What are you watching," he rolled his eyes when he saw what I was watching.

"This movie sucks," he said and sat on the couch opposite to mine so that he could see the yard from the window instead of watching the TV which was behind him.

"It isn't that bad. And by the way, Stephanie likes cheesy teenfics." I said wiggling my brow. He threw a cushion at me. I grunted and decided to not talk to him for a while. Brat.

I still felt bad on even thinking about Luke, or Jeremy. I have embarrassed myself in such a way that no one had ever did. I am so unlucky. A dork and pathetic. How can I even dream about Luke, he doesn't deserve a messed up wierdo like me. Me, a chapped lipped, frizz haired, skinny, awkward, mentally unstable, lazy girl.

I let out a breathe so I can breathe out all the insecurities and negativity out. But I felt sadder. I wanted to pull myself together before Carver looks up from his phone. I don't want to ruin his mood for me. He is already stressed about soccer.

I bit into my lower lip to stop myself from pouting out my lips and crying. What is good about me? Is anything good about me?

I grew sadder. I let out a breathe to feel better but all the bad memories came to me at once. The disgusting memories. Once when I was 11 and Mom made me sleep in my room - cause Carver and I always used to sleep together - and I peed because I got afraid.

Once when I was 12 and was in the park, I ripped my pants and had to walk home with my hands on my hips. Another time when we went to restaurant as a family, I spilled the soup over me. Mom was so embarrassed, I was 14.

I am good for nothing. There was a science exhibition when I was 13. And I broke Carver's spaceship model when I tripped over and fell on it.

I am so pathetic to even think I Luke would ever like me back.

"Hey, Carter." I cleared my throut before answering.
"Yeah,"
"We're planning for camping this weekend, you got an idea?"
I smiled, "is the place decided?" I asked. I love nature and camping.I know a perfect place we can go.

"No, do you have?" I grinned.
"You know the place," I sang. He smiled too understanding exactly what I mean.
"Hell yeah!" He said.

I sat on the shotgun and applied lip balm for the last time and looked at myself in the rearview mirror and checked if the lip balm is smudged. I adjusted the biege floppy hat on my head and smiled at my reflection. Carver was outside of the car, leaning on the driver's seat door. He was talking to Jeremy and Luke about where to we will race. They are bringing the girls, because we don't want to have a parking problem there.