Unexpected

8| Flustered

We walked out holding hands. His hand was warm. This simple gesture made me realize that how do people fall in love. These simple yet heartwarming gestures make a person feel like they are swimming underwater. Filled up with such intense emotion that it is unbearable to contain all that love inside. That is why people have sex?

My cheeks warmed up and my grip tightened on his hand. It was kinda weird too because my hands were turning clammy. My legs were aching from walking for so long. And I really wanted to scratch my forearm because it was itching where mosquitos had bitten me.

Ugh, I am such a wierdo. The female leads in movies never think of something as ridiculous as this.

I really, really wanted to hug Luke. His body pressed against mine, my chin on his shoulder and our cheeks pressed together. So I could feel his heart beating against my chest.

Uff, I am such a pathetic lovesick puppy. That nerdy little wierdo who just drools over pretty boys and dreams of kissing them. Luke, will never like a mute like me. I am a pathetic, weak, needy, failure. 

"Uh this way," I said and pulled his hand.  I was ahead of him so when I jerked his hand, he bumped on my back.

"Sorry," he immediately said. And few sticks fell, again. I held them closer.
"It's fine," I said as a grin was creeping up on my face. I walked ahead of him just like that, so he could not see me smiling and blushing.

I bit on to my lower lip to stop myself from smiling like crazy. The sky above us was turning crimson and I was getting impatient. Even though the precious time with Luke is as much important, I can't help but want to reach at the camping spot and take photos.

I looked down at my hand, intertwined with his. I am holding Luke's hand! Does that mean something?

Uh, of course not. Holding hand is a simple gesture. I need to chill.

And he called me cute. Does he like me? I always thought the female leads are too stupid and doesn't understand that the guy loves them. But God, it is confusing.

If he compliments me, should it mean something..? Or should it not? There should be a therapist for this. Ugh, oh yeah. Some people actually do this stuff. Therapy by an expert consultant for romantic relationships.

This sounds like sex therapist or something... (I remember where I heard it from... Netflix) Sex Education. But that is a different thing. And it just makes me think that people cannot do one thing without guidance. But who am I to judge? I don't trust myself in it too. Sex is intimidating to even imagine of, and the thought of actually doing it someday? Ah, a nightmare!

Anyways, I think my legs cannot take it anymore...

   ***

I plopped myself down on the sheet. A cup of noodles in my hand. Making sure that I don't spill.

Luke was irritated that everyone was assigned difficult work whilst Carver passed a cup of noodles in the name of food.

"The only thing you did was boil water. How can I be silent on that." This wasn't expected from this person. It was Charlotte. She was getting irritated by the passing minutes.

"What? You don't like noodles?" Carver asked. We have a little something planned for the night. MARSHMALLOWS. Charlotte wasn't responsible for bringing food so she didn't know about it. I wouldn't have too if I wasn't the one packing it. I twirled the plastic spork and fished out noodles from the cup. I silently ate as I watched the exchange of words between my twin and Charlotte.

"You can eat this. Thank you very much." She said as she shoved the cup in his face. "Your most welcome" he replied.

I looked down at my feet and heaved a sign. My heart felt heavy. Like hiding something so huge that my heart would like to rather burst than hold it all inside. I traced dust with my Snickers. I know what it is. The longing for someone. Not being able to touch them or caress them...