Unexpected

1| Shy

I pulled the comforter closer to my chest, feeling numb inside. The only sound I could hear was my heavy breathing. And I swear my heart was pumping like a bullet train. I curled up into a ball and took long breathes to calm myself. Beads of sweat trickled on my forehead. I was having a panic attack. When this realisation hit me, tears started pouring down my cheeks. My cheeks heated up, my hands felt clammy and I didn't knew how to stop.

My head felt heavy. I raised my head and stretched out my hand to grab the water bottle, which was on the bedside table but I couldn't reach it. I scooted closer and tried again, but it toppled over and fell on the floor. At this point I started sobbing and choking for breathe.

***

The alarm kept on ringing increasing my headache. I dismissed the alarm and stepped out of the bed eyes half open . I entered the bathroom and brushed my teeth sleepily. My head ached as if I had a hangover. I looked at the shower and groaned.

I don't want to take a shower. Than I remembered today it's my first day in highschool. It's not as if I couldn't remember about it. Yesterday night was pretty - I don't know the perfect word - hectic so I temporarily forgot about it.

Just the thought of how today is gonna be makes me anxious. I have read and watched thousands of books and movies about this moment.

Yesterday's panic attack stressed me out so much that I didn't over thought about today.

I have a habit to over think everything. And now it's a part of me. It's my tool to avoid embarrassment, awkward talks AND in avoiding my bad hair day.

I walked out of the shower in my white bathrobe, now turned off white due to regular use. I opened the wardrobe and glanced at the big window beside it to check if the Robinsons are back. And the room is still empty.

I picked up the dress for today and lied it on my bed. After changing into the red dress I grabbed my pumps and slipped my feet in them. I touched my hair and smiled at the mirror.

Hope for the best, I told myself.

I brushed my hair and tied it up into a ponytail. I went to the kitchen and saw Dad on the dining table, typing on laptop. I wonder if Carver is as excited as me.

"Good Morning" I said and grabbed a plate from the counter. I sat on my chair and served myself toasts and scrambled egg.

"Good Morning" Mom replied.
"Morning Dad" I glanced at him, his one hand typing and the other holding a bread which was few inches away from his mouth. All his concentration on his laptop.

Mom came and served me and Dad orange juice. She pushed Dad's hand so that the bread reaches his mouth.

I smiled.

"Tell me I am not late!" Carver came running and thumped his bag on the table and poured himself some juice.
"Didn't you checked the clock?" I replied and chewed on my food.

He swatted me on the head and sat on his chair. Mom gave him a plate of toast an eggs.He started taking large bites of the toasts and gulped it down with the help of orange juice. Some of it even oozed down his mouth. I grimaced and looked away.

Mom sat on her chair with her breakfast and sipped her smoothie before making a remark about my appearance.
"Carter, are you wearing lip gloss?" She asked and I tensed. Her remarks makes me anxious. Everything does.

What if I am wearing lip gloss?
I am not wearing any makeup. She just doesn't like anything. No makeup, no skirts, no heels, no Facebook, no croptop, no sleeveless, no shorts...

"No, Mom" I replied.

She took a long look then continued eating.
I hate when she acts strict. She is terrible in trying to act strict, instead she acts annoying. There wasn't any need to question me but she had to ask.