Peters POV.
As I swing into my room at the avengers compound, I'm hoping no one saw me.
I swing in landing softly on my towels I laid out earlier under my window so I wouldn't ruin Mr Starks carpet, I was only staying here for a couple nights while he works on my suit upgrades... shit.
He'll notice it's wet! It never gets properly wet unless I'm still for like 2 hours... he'll begin to get suspicious. God why can't I just be normal for one goddamn time! Wait... is that...?
Oh shit, I think it's mr stark, shit shit shit shit
I run to the bathroom and to get changed he knocks on my door as I'm half way through changing.
'Hey pete, you home yet? I thought I heard you get back.'
I attempt to calm my voice, 'ah yeah mr stark, I uh, I'm just getting changed in my bathroom, I'm sorry. I'll be out in a few!'
Hoping he didn't hear the panic or strain in my voice. 'Ok peter, I'll just wait out here.' Shit shit shit. He knows somethings wrong, why else would he use 'Peter' he never says Peter.
It's because he hates you
He doesn't care about you
He only cares about Spider-Man
He's using you
He hates you
He hates you
All the avengers hate you
Everyone hates you.
Just die already
Die
Die
Die
Die
Die
'Uh hey Pete, you all good in there...?'
Shit I've been too long, as quick as I can I slip on my black track pants and oversized hoodie so no one notices how weak I look.
I can't be weak, not in front of the avengers, they'll hate me even more than they already do.
I walk over to the door to greet Mr Stark, when I open the door he's standing whispering to Nat, they notice I'm there and turn around, quickly finishing the conversation I obviously was not supposed to hear.
Too bad I did.
Tony's POV.
I was getting worried, it's 4 am for god's sake, he should be back by now, god this kid is gonna be the death of me.
I decide to go and just see if he's home. I knock on his door.
'Hey Pete, you home yet? I thought I heard you get back'
I wait for a response, I hear a 'ah yeah mr stark, I uh, I'm just getting changed in my bathroom, I'm sorry. I'll be out in a few!'
Peter's voice sounds like he's choking... what if something's wrong and he got hurt in patrol which is why he didn't get back till so late?
Maybe he's in pain, not physically.. but in other ways. Maybe it's just the door making the words seem less... human.
'Ok peter, I'll just wait out here.' I stand here thinking about every possible reason, I don't even notice it's been eleven minutes.
I decide to be calm so as to not freak him out.
'Uh hey Pete, you all good in there...?' I don't hear a reply but he just probably didn't hear me...
'whatcha up to stark?' I turn to see Nat
I'm worried about him Nat, he's been getting back from patrol at like 4 am every day and is just always wearing a hoodie and long pants and isn't the happy Peter he used to be. I'm, I'm just ... worried. He lost Ben and since then he's obviously been struggling...'
'tony, he's a teenager, he probably just likes staying out late in the fresh air-' ' the fresh air of New York?' I say sarcastically
' what I'm saying tony is he's probably just insecure, or stressed about school, I know what it feels like ok? You don't want to push him, maybe just gently remind him you're here for him. Invite him to upgrade the suit with you, get him to trust you. So if something is wrong he'll tell you.'
We're whispering at this point so as to not alert him. I sigh and say
' I guess you're right, thank you Nat' she smiles and looks behind me.
I turn around to see Peter. Well at least he looks ok.
'Hey Pete, how was patrol-' 'it was good, I'm a little tired though would it be alright if I just went to bed?' He yawned and clearly struggled to keep his eyes open.
I silently sigh 'yeah Pete, that's all good. Sleep well..' 'goodnight!' 'Night' and with that he closes the door, a little too quickly, but I'm probably just overreacting.
Hey guys second chapter hear now lol, remember ily guys and it's ok to not be ok but there is always someone to talk to ✨🥰❤️
YOU ARE READING
I don't even know who i am anymore
Fanfiction⚠️ Trigger warning ⚠️ This story contains self harm please be careful and love yourself ❤️✨ Peter doesn't know who he is anymore, he's just trying to keep up appearances and stay the happy peter everyone loves, but it's getting harder and harder. W...
