Unexpected

[30] Birthday Surprise

Happy New Year everyone!!! I spent my New Year's eve being sick and missing out on all the fun. (Yay...) I hope yours turned out much better! I'm back home now but college starts in like two weeks so that will be a new adventure for me. :) How is everyone's 2015 so far?

Hope you like the chapter and if you do please give it a big ol' vote or comment! Thank you everyone so much for your support and love! It truly means a lot.

Clara.

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Music was blaring from the sound system when I came through the door. Dean and Travis were in the kitchen setting up some of the food. My mind was still swimming with all that Ryan had told me and I sighed, dropping my purse and backpack onto the sofa as I passed.

    “Hey. Where’ve you been?” My brother asked as I passed him.

    “I just had some stuff to take care of,” I shrugged before opening the fridge and pulling out the rest of the hors d’oeuvres I’d made this morning. Dean gave me an odd look, but thankfully he didn’t say anything. Once all the food was set up I took my stuff up stairs and tried to get started on my homework. I knew some of his friends that would be coming, but honestly I wasn’t up for much human interaction at the moment.

    After a frustrating forty minutes in which I tried and failed at Chemistry homework, I gave up with a sigh. I grabbed the book I had to read for English and headed downstairs instead. Maybe a little fresh air on the back porch would help clear my head. Despite my best efforts I couldn’t concentrate and was just staring into the darkness when I heard the door open behind me. I looked over to see Anya. Smiling, I accepted the glass of punch she handed me.

    “Want some company?”

    I nodded, taking a sip of the drink tentatively.

    “You seem distracted,” Anya laughed lightly as she tucked her legs beneath her on the chair.

    “A little,” I agreed with a nod. Sighing, I bit my lip and swirled my drink around the glass.

    “Want to talk about it?”

    I shook my head, laughing dryly. “Not really.”

    After a short pause, however, I realized that was a lie. Sighing, I closed the book on my lap and put it on the cushion, between my leg and the back of the wicker sofa.

    “Actually… Yeah, kind of.” Before I could stop myself I was telling her everything that had happened in the past couple of months. Ryan cheating, our fight, him leaving—and now him suddenly being back, and everything he’d said this afternoon.

    “I want to believe him. I truly do. But…after what happened, I just don’t think that I can. I’m terrified that I’ll forgive him and say it’s all in the past and then he’ll turn around and do it all over again. I can’t handle that.”

    “And I can’t blame you. I think you made the right choice when you walked away. But clearly you still care about him. Is that really what you want? To never have him in your life because you don’t want to get hurt again? What if he doesn’t go back to how he was, and you miss your chance to ever be with him again?”

    She was right, but there was still a small part of me unwilling to admit that. I’d been through enough pain this year, between loosing Mom and everything with Ryan. Was it worth it to risk that again?

    “I don’t know…maybe.” I sighed, holding my head in my hands for a long moment.

    “You were good for him, Kodi.” Anya smiled and squeezed my hand. “And you may not see it, but he was good for you too.”