And yet there will be happiness...

Reception

He was surrounded by a crowd of people, all in motion, the bustle and faces, familiar and unfamiliar, that he did not want to see, filled the hall, it seemed he was choking on sounds, chuckles, stupid chatter and inappropriate jokes. Sidney lowered his eyes, wishing that this day was finally over and he could be alone, alone with his feelings and thoughts. He knew that for a long time he had not allowed anyone close to him and his feelings, and lately the company of others had simply oppressed him. "Nobody.... No one.... Who the hell am I kidding?..what about Charlotte?... This little island of honesty, justice, joy, trust..love in the end..dear Charlotte." She appeared before his eyes, on the cliff, the wind ruffling her beautiful hair, she looked at him with excitement and joy, and he called her by name. His voice broke and trembled with excitement. Here she was, standing before him, so alive, so real, so loved and desired, the one who had robbed him of sleep and peace, who had turned his whole world upside down, the one who had made him want to live and laugh. There was so much he wanted to say to her then, but feelings and emotions overwhelmed him, standing so close that it became difficult to breathe, and he realized that he could no longer resist. What happened next Sydney remembered for a second, everything inside him quivered with the memory of their first kiss.. He felt a rush of tenderness and warmth all over his body, and smiled slightly, still staring blankly at the floor.
"Remember something interesting, Sidney?"
The voice cut through the air and brought him back to reality. Charlotte's beautiful image began to fade, and in its place came disappointment and pain.
"No, nothing interesting," he said dryly to the woman standing next to him. Sidney looked at her, this was the woman he had once loved, the woman he had dreamed of for years, and soon she would be his wife. Eliza is beautiful, rich, and generally a model of elegance and style. "It would seem that what could be better?"Maybe a couple of months ago, he would have been quite happy, realizing all this. But not now, now he wanted to scream in pain and run from everyone.
- Look, everyone is looking only at us, we are the most beautiful couple here, I'm sure - she continued - everyone wants to get us a visit, how do you like it? I think we should visit some families, I made a list.
- I have no desire to visit anyone, sorry-still dryly replied he.
"Sydney, I've already made my decision and it's not up for discussion," she said in a tone that brooked no argument.
He looked at her in silence, there was no anger inside him, no resistance, there was emptiness and longing inside. Sydney felt that something inside him had broken and he didn't know how to fix it. Mr. Parker looked at his future wife and felt nothing for her, absolutely nothing. He felt trapped in a cage again. In a cage with no way out, what happened to Tom left him no choice. "Damn this fire, and Tom and His project...if it wasn't for that, I would be the happiest person in the world right now.".. The sadness came over him again. It was only the memory of Charlotte that made Sydney get out of bed in the morning, but she was so far away, and so unattainable, that by nightfall he would feel desperate again and fall asleep, hoping that he would see her in a dream.
Days went by, but it was as if he was stuck in time, walking, talking, eating, doing things, but it was as if it was not him, but some other person..
"You've heard that lady Susan is bringing out a new lady, they say this is her first season, there are rumors that she is incredibly beautiful and extraordinary, men have already lined up to Express their preference for her and are flattering themselves with hopes of getting her to dance or something more. They say that perhaps she will be here today, it would be very interesting to see her-chattered incessantly Mrs. Burke, standing next to Eliza - I'm all in anticipation.
Sidney turned away, not wanting to listen to gossip, he wasn't interested. He was thinking about how he could get out of here so that no one would see him. He needs to distract himself and break out of this prison. It might be worth going to sanditon to see If the change of scene would do him good, and perhaps ( he hoped very much) Eliza would not be able or willing to go with Him. It would be perfect, he really wanted to be alone. "Damn, why are you kidding yourself again? You don't want to be alone... you don't want to be with her... all you need is Charlotte." All of Sydney's thoughts came back to her, Willy-nilly..."But she's not there anymore, she went home, she went away and took my heart with her."He longed for her, his longing was almost palpable and even brought physical pain. This had never happened to him before. Sidney was lost in thought. Suddenly, he felt that he was in the middle of something.
Something changed in the hall, everyone moved, there were whispers and louder conversations, chuckles, and for some reason some of the guests moved smoothly to another part of the Hall. Probably new guests, Sidney thought, but he showed no interest in the event.
"It's them, Lady Susan and her protégé, just as I said," Mrs. Burke whispered.
- Let's see, let's look at this girl-Eliza supported her - but let's not hurry, let's first let the men amuse their curiosity. I don't think there's going to be anything extraordinary, or- "she began sarcastically, then stopped and added, in a loud, nervous voice," what the hell?" What is she doing here?.
Sidney, who had only been listening to their conversation out of the corner of his ear, was very surprised by her reaction and turned in the direction that not only Eliza was looking, but also many other people in the room. And there, among the overdressed gentlemen and ladies, next to Lady Susan, he saw...her...he saw his Charlotte.... Sidney closed his eyes and opened them again, sure that she would disappear from the Room like a Mirage, but no, she didn't... Oh God... It was Charlotte...
She was as beautiful as ever, her light blue dress set off her beautiful face and accentuated her beautiful figure, her gorgeous thick hair (which he loved so much) they were put up and decorated with ribbons, her smile and clear eyes seemed to Wake up the whole Room, and it seemed to Sydney that everything around her was brighter and brighter. He stared at her, unable to take his eyes off her, this was his Charlotte, so alive, so beloved, so desirable... Sydney took a deep breath to steady himself, and felt that he was still alive for the first time since he had closed the door of her carriage and said good-bye to her forever....
It was some time before he realized that he was just standing there looking at her, which probably looked stupid or even unseemly, but it didn't bother Sydney much at the moment. He could not believe that the one he had been dreaming about and who had appeared to him in his dreams was here, a few meters away from him, all he had to do was walk up and hold out his hand and say Hello. He wanted to run to meet her, to take her in his arms and not let her go, to run to a place where no one would ever find them. He watched Charlotte smile sweetly at the people she was introduced to, but then she frowned, lowered her eyes, then looked at Lady Susan. Sidney looked at the man who was talking to them, it was W...., an avid gambler and rake, who nevertheless enjoyed great success with the ladies. At..... he paid compliments and joked, as was evident from Lady Susan's company. Sydney felt uneasy, a wave of jealousy so sudden that it confused all his thoughts, but then he looked at Charlotte again and realized that all his fears and doubts were in vain. Sydney remembered every line of her beautiful face and could already read a lot from it. Charlotte was answering her companion, but she was looking at him with narrowed eyes, and Sidney knew that she was studying him and was probably already seeing through him. Her ability to accurately determine what kind of person in front of her Sydney knew firsthand, and now, standing here, he once again thought how accurate were Charlotte's words about his family, said at their first ball. How rude he had been to her then, and she had told the truth, which was not True. - Sidney, I think we should go home, perhaps enough for today, I'm tired-said Eliza, but he did not hear her, and continued to stand and stare at the favorite figure in the other part of the Hall. Suddenly Charlotte turned and met Sidney's eyes. She looked directly at him, honestly, openly, without embarrassment. This took away his last doubts. Sidney's heart sank, and a bright fire burned inside him, and his eyes flashed, and he couldn't help but smile. Eliza couldn't help but notice.
- Sidney - even louder said she and its beautiful face contorted from wickedness of, lips folded in narrow line, and in the eyes of froze ice, thus mournfully perhaps can be was would kill - you hear me?
- What? "did you say something?" he asked absently. - he said, without taking his eyes off Charlotte-sorry, I need to say Hello - he said and moved to the lively group.
Eliza was furious.

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