And yet there will be happiness...

Tom and Mary

The weather was fine, and a fresh sea breeze ruffled the leaves of the trees and the clothes of the ladies and gentlemen strolling peacefully along the beach.
A new day had begun for the residents of Trafalgar house. In the morning, Tom was beside himself with excitement, rushing around his office, grabbing various papers and layouts, thus causing real chaos. His mind was full of projects and plans for the future of Sanditon, and the only problem was how to organize them and choose from them really interesting and profitable. This proved to be the most difficult task for Tom.
Since the announcement of Sidney's engagement, Tom has been incredibly happy, fate has given him a second chance and he has strengthened in the idea that his cause is right and he needs to move on, whatever it takes. He had almost forgotten the possibility of a debtors 's prison and what he had done with his family. Tom was genuinely happy for Sydney, believing that the fire had somehow brought him real happiness. Sydney was reunited with his love. And to be honest, Eliza's capital also came in handy. The money did not flow like a river, but it was quite a noticeable stream, which allowed Tom to relax and immerse himself in his many ideas.
He missed Charlotte, since her departure there were more and more papers and bills, and less and less order. "After all, this girl is a real treasure," he thought again, after losing the next drawings and spending a whole hour searching for them.
In contrast, Mary was not so happy, and he noticed more and more often that she was sad, absent-minded, and uncommunicative. She reacted calmly and almost coldly to all his enthusiastic ideas. Mary hadn't been feeling well in the last few days, and Tom was afraid she could came down. Tom could not understand the reason for this change in Mary; his only guess was that she might missed Charlotte.
As he sat buried in his papers, trying to sort out the backlog of business, he heard familiar footsteps and turned to Mary with a smile.
"Good morning, dear, how are the children?"  Tom asked.
- Good morning. It's all right, the kids are in class, " Mary said calmly.
- Well, you know, I have new ideas for improving Sanditon. I will write to Sydney, we need some more money-Tom started talking excitedly-but this will be a real breakthrough, after that visitors will rush to us in a powerful stream.
Mary stared at her husband, realizing once again that his obsession with Sanditon was becoming more and more frightening. She, as a truly loving wife, was always on his side and supported him even in the most difficult times. But now, looking at Tom, she had mixed feelings. Memories of Charlotte and Sidney didn't give her any peace. She had written letters to Charlotte several times, but had never been able to tell her the truth about how sorry she was for what had happened. She could see Charlotte's face as she got into the carriage, and there were tears in her eyes: "Poor girl, she has done so much for our family, for me, the children, Tom, for Sanditon, for Sydney, she has taught him to smile again.... and love, how could we do this with them? How did I let this happen? And Sydney.. when he arrives, it is painful to look at him, he is a completely different person. His gaze is empty, though, probably, as he is now." Mary sank slowly into a chair and closed her eyes, trying to collect her thoughts.
"Darling, are you all right?"  Tom asked anxiously, running from the table.
"I'm all right," Mary said calmly.
"But there's something going on with you" - Tom persisted - "Is it because of Charlotte? Do you miss her? I often miss her too, she was a good helper."
Mary frowned, wondering if she could share this secret with Tom. She looked at her husband carefully, remembering how she had scolded him for his secrecy and distrust, and decided.
"Tom, it's really about Charlotte," she began.
"But my dear, this is such nonsense, you can write to her, let her come again to stay" Tom happily interrupted her "especially soon I would also need her help."
"It's not that she's gone home," Mary said more loudly "it's about Charlotte and Sydney, Tom!"
"Yes, Sydney and Charlotte are great, they helped us so much with the regatta and the ball" said Tom "it's good that they got along, it would be difficult for us without them"
"Listen to me carefully, Tom," Mary said firmly.
"But, my dear," he began, but after looking at the expression on her face, he decided not to interrupt any more.
Mary took a deep breath, trying to compose herself.
"Charlotte and Sydney" she said in a firm voice, "we ruined their lives, Tom. Don't you understand? Are you so blind that you can't see anything at all?
Tom's face fell in surprise, and His eyes  wide opened.
"Destroyed their lives? Mary, I don't understand. What do you mean? Is this a joke?" asked Tom.
"No, I'm not kidding, unfortunately" with pain in her voice said Mary -" I should have told you a long time ago".
Tom was surprised, taken aback by her words, but still didn't understand their meaning.
"Charlotte and Sydney love each other," Mary continued " We were so blind, so stupid, that we didn't notice it before. God, it was so obvious. I think Sydney was going to proposal at the ball, but due to all the subsequent events, he was forced to..." Mary paused, unable to speak any more, she lowered her head for a second, and when she looked up, Tom saw tears on her face" we destroyed their lives, Tom, their happiness, we didn't give them a chance". The tears came harder and she couldn't speak anymore.
For several minutes the room was dead silent, broken only by the ticking of the clock.
Mary was able to calm down a little and looked at her husband. Tom looked suddenly haggard. It seemed to her that in those minutes he had aged several years.
"Are you sure you didn't make a mistake?"  he asked, with  trembling voice.
"I'm sure," Mary said painfully, " he got engaged to Eliza so we wouldn't end up in debt, don't you understand, Tom?" He sacrificed himself and Charlotte for us. And she, she didn't say a word.
How could I let this happen?" Mary's voice broke again, and tears rolled from her eyes.
It seemed to Tom that the whole world around him was gone, and the joy of the abundance of ideas and the pleasure of Sidney's life suddenly dimmed, and then disappeared altogether. He lacked air, his head flashed images of a past life: a conversation with Sidney about marriage, then in London; how happy Sidney was at the ball, and they danced with Charlotte, (as he then was associated with Eliza); farewell to Charlotte and tears in her eyes (which now he perceived quite differently), the return Sydney from London with a message about the engagement, everyone was happy, sounded laughter, and what about Sydney? He stood erect, smiling modestly, and in his eyes? There was pain in his eyes!... and after Charlotte left, he was not himself, at first cursing and angry at everyone for nothing (even Crowe), and then suddenly it seemed to go out... "God, what an idiot I was that I didn't see it right away. Yes I... I'm just a narcissistic fool! This is all because of me!".
Guilt washed over Tom. He was stunned, startled, and shocked. Tom looked at Mary again, suddenly realizing what a huge weight she had been carrying on her shoulders while he was enjoying his "happy" life like a fool. He went to Mary and hugged her tightly.
"We owe something to do, Tom, they should not suffer from-for of strangers mistakes" quietly told Mary  " if all to leave so, then you will lose you brother forever, and I never will be able to forgive myself.
Tom looked into her eyes and realized that she was right now as never before.
"Mary, you're right, we need to find a way out," Tom said.
He hugged his wife again, glad to have someone close to him, clinging to Mary as if she were a straw to keep him from drowning in the whirl of his own thoughts. "What exactly can I do for them now ? Where can I go? Lady Denham? Babbington? Or maybe London? Banks? And after the regatta and ball is there then at least a Ghost of a chance? Are there any hopes?..."

#Sanditon #Sanditonfanfiction