And yet there will be happiness...

Reflections

Large drops of rain drummed on the glass, creating an atmosphere of sadness and longing. Charlotte looked out the window, hoping to distract herself from the thoughts that were swirling in her head. The street was deserted, except for the occasional lone traveler who had started on such a rash journey today, and the closed carriages that passed by could somehow amuse her. Under the gray curtain of rain, the same gray, colorless life of this great city flowed. London, which played with such bright colors at receptions and balls, struck Charlotte with its cold, mud, and a sense of hopeless loneliness. She was uncomfortable in it. As a sensitive person, she noticed falseness and falsehood in almost every look, gesture, bow, and word spoken. Charlotte, who had grown up in a small village and used to looking people in the eye honestly and openly, hated all this. Her whole young being rebelled against it. She was bored and cramped in these huge and luxurious halls filled with people, she acutely wanted to feel free.
The time dragged on unbearably long.
Charlotte sat down on the sofa, opened her favorite book and began to stare at the familiar lines, trying to forget for a moment why she had come here for. But today her heart wouldn't listen to her, bringing her back to Sydney again and again. It had been several days since their long-awaited but brief meeting, but Charlotte still saw his painfully familiar face, every feature of which she loved madly. She suddenly wanted to come back where she could so easily admire him, hear his gentle voice and melt from his magic smile. Charlotte closed her eyes...

A second later, she felt a light sea breeze blowing across her smiling face, swaying her curls to the beat of a tune known only to him. The setting sun gently blinded the eyes and painted everything around in a magical Golden haze. The sound of the surf, caressing her ears, and the occasional cry of the gulls soothed her tired soul, bringing her back, if only for a moment, to the place where she had been so happy.
In Charlotte's memory, one by one, events came up that seemed to change her forever, turning her from a brash and shrewd girl who yesterday had shot hares and played with her brothers and sisters into a wise, into a beautiful, sensitive and noble lady.
Sanditon burst into her life as loud and fast as a mountain torrent, tearing down every obstacle in its path. Its deafening novelty thrilled her beyond words. New people, morals, new thoughts, deeds, and feelings took hold of her immediately after her arrival. Seeing the sea for the first time, and feeling all its beauty and power, Charlotte realized that her life is just beginning and there are still many adventures ahead.
Everything she saw excited her, and she was interested in all and everything. And so, intoxicated with new thoughts and feelings, she met Mr. Sidney Parker.
Charlotte's interest in him had begun long before Sidney's arrival at Sanditon, and she was inexplicably drawn to the portrait of him that hung in the hall. Without realizing it, she admired him and flattered herself with the hope of meeting him. Sydney was a real mystery to her, and she was trying desperately to solve it.
Charlotte could not tell the day, the minute, or the hour when this interest of hers had grown into something more, which had taken possession of her whole soul with such new and hitherto unknown emotions. Surprised to learn more and more about Sydney, and realizing how unfair she had been to him at first, Charlotte became more and more ashamed of her hasty conclusions and actions. But even now she could not imagine how and when this contradictory and incomprehensible person, who so often baffled and infuriated her, could become the most dear and beloved in the world, and his opinion the most important? She didn't know the answer. But she knew that she would give anything to see him again, to feel the warmth of his hands and body, to drown in his bottomless eyes, to hear his voice calling her name, and to be lost in him, even for a moment, to feel like one.
The clock struck five, returning to Charlotte from Sunny Sanditon back to grey London. It's time to drink tea. She closed the book,  not being able to read it in a single line. Soon tea was served. Charlotte picked up the mug and went back to the window. She raised the mug to her lips and sipped, pleased to feel it so hot and fragrant liquid warmed her inside. The rain stopped and the sun flashed through the clouds, as if giving her a fragile hope of happiness. Charlotte smiled, realizing that perhaps the best was yet to come...

#Sanditon #Sidlotte #Sanditonfanfiction