And yet there will be happiness...

Time does not wait

Morning came inevitably and soon. The sun's rays penetrated the Windows of the house, illuminating the rooms with incredibly bright highlights and waking up all the household.
Sidney, who had not slept a wink during the night, looked out of the window. A new day had come, and it was waiting for him to take action.

Yesterday, as he was returning in the carriage that was slowly taking him through the streets of London from the dearest and most beloved person in his life, with whom his heart seemed to remain forever, he was agonizing over all that had happened to him in the last few hours. The storm of emotions and feelings raging inside him did not allow him to think calmly, as if wave after wave swept over him, causing incredible pain, then giving unlimited happiness. His older brother, Tom, who was sitting next to him, talking incessantly about the triumph of his brilliant idea and now and then raising his hands to the sky in ecstasy, did not seem to notice what was happening to Sidney dney at all. However, he said to himself, not for the first time. It's time to accept it.
He closed his eyes, listening to the sound of horses ' hooves on the pavement. The dimness of the carriage and its steady swaying finally began to bear fruit, and Sidney's thoughts, which had been following him all evening, began to form a single line. He breathed a sigh of relief, sanity and a certain detachment from everyone were among his strong qualities that he had systematically developed over the years, and Sidney would have been happy to use them now. He did not recognize himself, all that had seemed so important before, now meant almost nothing, giving earlier calm oppressed. His soul asked for more, longed for the one that appeared to him in dreams and made him tremble with happiness. His love for Charlotte had turned his whole world upside down, and she seemed to be able to play music on the strings of his soul, giving him a new, incredible life that he would not have dared to dream of before.
The image of Charlotte still stood before him, her deep, wide eyes looking at him with such tenderness and affection that the heart in his chest began to beat wildly again, her proximity, the touch of her hands, the sweetness of her lips and the scent of her hair were maddening. He knew that now he was at her mercy, body and soul, every fiber of his being. Sidney could not and would not resist it.
He didn't want to be an outsider anymore, and Sidney had been searching for her and only her all his life, afraid to admit it even to himself. He needed Charlotte like air, and life without her warmth, tenderness, and love was unbearable, and every new day turned into a real torture. He couldn't let her disappear again, the thought of it made him desperate, couldn't let her suffer any more, the tears in her beautiful eyes tore his heart apart. Sidney had to protect her no matter whatever it takes.
His thoughts went back to the engagement, to Eliza, what a fool he had been, how could he have fallen so easily into her trap? He no longer loved her, but he still trusted her. How could he think that Eliza had deliberately decided his fate in her own way, without giving him a tiny chance? "She has everything she wants, why does she need me? Love? No, the person who loves sincerely wishes happiness to the beloved. Trophy? The prize?"these thoughts were unbearable and caused him incredible pain. How could he ever love such a woman? Go crazy for her? She almost ruin all his life after her wedding? How could he believe and give in to her then and now? More than ten years ago, Sidney was young, and so stupid and blind that he was still paying for his mistakes.
It was as if he was caught between two elements: Charlotte, warming him with her inexpressibly bright light, giving him the strength to live and strive for happiness, and Eliza, who decided his fate with a single stroke of her pen.
"Damn this engagement, and Eliza!" he thought angrily. He was ready to terminate it immediately, as soon as he could find the money (since he had already received answers to some requests), go through humiliation, court and fines if necessary. He no longer cared about his reputation. There was only one thing Sidney could not afford, and he would never forgive himself. He could not bear the thought of all this filth ever touching his Charlotte, her bright name. This could not be allowed to happen, he would do the right thing without dropping a shadow of suspicion, and protect her, at any cost.
He must force Eliza to break the engagement, just as she had tricked Him into making it. It was necessary. "But how? What do I really know about her? I was going to marry a woman I didn't really know anything about! What an idiot I was!"
The carriage stopped at the house and the gentlemen got out.
- Great day, Sidney! - Tom said with a smile, patting his brother on the shoulder.
Sidney smiled and patted him on the shoulder.
Tom went into the house, and his younger brother remained standing on the porch, breathing in the warm air and disappearing into the silence of London at night. The darkness calmed him. Sydney looked up into the sky and saw the stars. Fascinated by their radiance, he thought again of Charlotte, of her sparkling eyes, his heart warmed, and all the love and tenderness that lived in him spread slowly through his body, giving him unspeakable joy and peace.
Sidney desperately needed time and calm, and they were the only ones who could put all his thoughts and feelings in order and help him decide what to do next.
The tournament was to take place as soon as possible. Sidney had long been thinking about how to act, where to buy everything he needed, contacted potential participants and guests himself, and was ready to do any work that was required of him. Sidney had to fix everything he'd done, willingly or unwittingly. He had to help Tom and himself.
"The guests will arrive, the tournament will pay off, the engagement will be terminated and this wedding will never take place!!! He told himself again and again, until at last he realized that it was all so real, so tangible, that all he had to do was reach out and take action. The uneasy thoughts that had been holding his head in a vise all this time suddenly receded, a weight dropped from his shoulders, bringing him back to reality.
When he awoke, he realized that he was a little cold. The night was coming to an end, and the darkness was replaced by a pre-dawn twilight. How long he stood there on the porch he did not know, time seemed to suddenly stop and give him a break. "I need a plan," he thought, and walked resolutely into the house.
When he got up to his room, he finally took off his coat and waistcoat, took off his shoes, and collapsed on the bed. But sleep did not come to him.
He should go to Sanditon with Tom, help him with everything, as soon as he settles all the business of the tournament here (well, what
Babbington is also in business), this should take a maximum of 2-3 days. The departure was inevitable and necessary, but it hurt Sidney to think about it,because here in London there was still his Charlotte, whom he did not want to leave. He closed his eyes and she filled his whole being again, her image enveloping Sidney with incredible love and tenderness, spreading a sweet languor over his body. He couldn't help but smile.
He exhaled, opened his eyes and sat back down on the bed.
"Departure is inevitable," he repeated to himself, secretly reassuring himself that if he stayed here, he probably wouldn't be able to see her. But that damned Broom would still be hanging around her. After lady Susan's words, he couldn't get It out of his mind. Broom can propose marriage  to Charlotte, his Charlotte, his girl! Jealousy was madly tormented by Sydney and he could not cope with it. He said he loves her, opened his soul to her, gave himself, but never heard about her feelings. Doubts and fears began to creep up on him again, slowly, step by step, sinking him into the depths of despair.
"No, I saw everything in her eyes, in her touch, in the way she trusted me again, her lips can't lie!"he replied to himself. But Broome was a strong contender, he had to admit that, and Sidney knew he had to hurry.
Eliza. Mrs. Burke (damn her, she's out of her snuffbox) is sure to send her a message that might make her hurry. He had to find out what was known about Eliza in London and beyond, and he knew exactly who could help him. Crowe re! In such matters, he was simply irreplaceable, an idle reveller, now and then letting off greasy jokes and seemed forever laughing at everyone who knew him was not so simple, his connections and incredibly wide range of communication sometimes even scared Sidney. But now that's exactly what was needed. Crowe knew something about Eliza and had already warned him in the Smoking room. It's time to talk.
Sidney went to the Desk and wrote a note to Crowe, which the morning post was supposed to send. After some thought, he sent a couple more mails to suppliers with offers for the tournament.
Time was now playing against Sidney and rushing the tournament was the only option.
When the sun came up and lit up the whole house, he was still sitting at the table. Looking out the window, he finally felt that his strength was running out and he should try to sleep.
Sidney lay down on the bed and closed his eyes, fatigue seemed to break him completely, and sleep, which had not come to him all night, finally came into its possession, leaving only the image of Charlotte in Sidney's memory.

He was awakened by a loud knock on the door and Tom's voice. He sat up abruptly and opened his eyes, hardly knowing where he was or what was happening. The door opened and Tom flew in.
- Sydney, you won't believe it! - Tom said - it's incredible, I've just received a letter from Lady Wooster! Can you imagine? It says that the Prince Regent officially declares his interest in the tournament and sends his proxy to help organize and control the preparation! What do you think, Sidney? This person can arrive at Sanditon before the end of the week!!!
- Splendid, splendid! - he continued - I think we will have a couple of days to finish up here? Did you contact the contract suppliers? Almost everything should be ready.
- Yes - said Sidney wearily, knowing that he would not be able to recover so quickly - the last orders were in the letters on the table, and they had to be sent immediately. I have several meetings today and tomorrow, and the agreements are almost signed. We can make the rest out of Sanditon.
- Yes, Yes, thank you-Tom again went around the room - we must tell Babbington, he will be delighted!
- Yes, you're right - Sidney said calmly.
Tom looked closely at his brother, unable to understand the reasons for his sadness and such a broken look, he, who fell asleep in sweet dreams as soon as his head touched the pillow, did not know what was happening to his brother all this time.
- What's wrong with you, Sidney? - said Tom - it's already noon, it's high time to   wake up, we have a lot of things to do and very little time. I'll go to Babbington's, and then I'll write to Mary, Oh, my God, she'll be delighted! And you get up, stop lying around!
Tom threw the last words as he ran down the stairs without closing the bedroom door behind him.
Sidney closed his eyes and fell back on the bed. It was a few more minutes before he gathered all his strength and got up and cleaned himself up.
Half an hour later, he had Breakfast and was ready for any fight. Ahead of him were the planned meetings and the possible and much-needed conversation with Crowe. The memory of Charlotte never left him for a moment, sometimes it even seemed to him that she was there for him, smiling and supporting in everything. Her invisible presence gave him strength and confidence.
"So we're going to Sanditon! And let the tournament take place! he said to himself, still hoping in his heart to see Charlotte again soon. There was only one thing about the separation that didn't upset Sidney: being away from her, he would be able to protect Charlotte from Eliza's attacks. This made him very happy.
There would be a lot to do at Sanditon, and he would be able to distract himself. Especially, as Tom said, there will be a confidant of the Prince Regent who will need to be surprised. Sidney hoped that this face wouldn't be a surly old man who would drive them both crazy.
"I only have a couple of days and I have to act." Sidney put on his top hat and went out to meet the new day.

#Sanditon #Sanditonfanfiction