babysitter, ruel van dijk

0:23

~✐✩➞ ☼~

→ruel's pov←

i decided that i should just drop the notes off at her house, and that's what i did. i had been to her house a couple times before, and realized that it was relatively close. sneaking up to her house, very carefully and quietly, not wanting to scare her. i know her parents aren't home, so hearing rustling outside might make her worried.

throughout the months of us getting closer, she offered some of the time to go to her house. the first time, i asked, "will your parents mind that i'm coming over?" and her face dropped.

responding with, "they're gone when i wake up, and they come back after i'm asleep, sometimes they don't come back. i could do pretty much anything, so no, i bet they don't mind" she tries to smile through it. i know how hurt she is, and i know after her sister left for college she feels lonely as shit. i'm probably not helping with that either.

i place the note on her doorstep, then gently knock the door, then bolt. i don't want her to know it was me, but i bet she could figure it out. i hid by her house, just to make sure she got the note, then i returned home. arriving home i thought of more and more notes to write to her, while also trying to write some more songs.

i write till i decided it's a good time to go to sleep, setting down my pen to go brush my teeth. i grab my toothbrush, with toothpaste, and start swirling it around my mouth. i take a look around my bathroom, seeing sky's light blue toothbrush still in the holder. i don't think i'll ever get rid of it.

ew is that creepy?

whatever.

i lazily make my way back to my bedroom, flopping down and shutting my eyes. and just before i fall asleep, i think to myself, "god i hope she forgives me" and with the thought of her happy, i fall asleep with a smile on my face.

→sky's pov←

☼ the next morning ☼

every morning is pretty much the same now, especially because it's the summer time now. i met ruel on vacation in june, reconnected with ruel seven months later near the holiday season, and it's been nearly a year, and i lost him. my homeschooling slowed because i completed it quickly, so now there's pretty much nothing to do.

before the falling out, ruel would invite me to hang out with his friends, or just one on one. now one of my closest friends is in the bay area, another being my sister, and the last being my cat. now that i think about it, that sounds so much sadder than i previously thought. whoops.

once i thought i was finally starting to be happy with myself, ruel, i'm assuming, decides to plant that one note. what he said about me really stuck, probably because we were so close, it made my self esteem so much worse that what it was before. but what he wrote truly was beautiful, and i stuck the note to be apart of my little wall collage. 

what an asshole.

back to my morning, of waking up and immediately checking my parents bedroom. once they're not there as usual and my face drops, i brush my teeth and get ready. heading to the kitchen to see the mess my parents left in their haste this morning. cleaning after them, and myself, had quickly become apart of the routine once they both took on more difficult jobs.

my parents aren't abusive or anything like that, they don't spend enough time with me to be that way. but when they came home and their mess was still there, i did get yelled at, at three in the morning once they came back. it kinda broke me, so usually i spend the first several hours cleaning so i don't get punished.

no one, besides my sister, knows that part of my life; i intend to keep it that way.

just as i'm finished cleaning up the house, i hear another knock on the door. rushing over to the door, gently pulling it open, to which all i see is an envelope sitting on the door mat once again. pulling it inside, inspecting the envelops, plain white, no writing on the outside.

going to my room, patting a spot for finley to sit by me. gently tearing open the envelope, peeping inside to see four more post-it notes. reading over all of them, my breath escaping from me. the first note reads...

i tried

explaining why i was so sad

but nothing could come out

that was when i realized

i didn't know why

either

my head tilting at what he had wrote, but still moving to the second note...

i am drowning 

in a sea

of sadness

and the only one who can save me

is you.

truly beautiful, and i kept re-reading the note, until i realized i was only half way through the notes. the third...

i said i was 

afraid of loosing you

and then i

faced my fears

and made you leave

i feel like i can feel his guilt through his words, is this him showing he cares?  one more, the fourth note...

you're my painkiller

when my brain gets bitter

you keep me close

when I've been miserable

and it takes forever

to let my brain get better

i'm his painkiller?

~✐✩➞ ☼~

a/n i'm literally obsessed with this chapter. ngl i feel like a genius. also poor sky, am i right?