Past Life Lessons (A Lams Fanfiction)

Alexander Gets Nervous

A/N: There's a possible trigger warning regarding PTSD with Alex so if you don't feel comfortable reading that's okay. There is also a warning right before and after that section, stay safe guys

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So maybe Alexander couldn't do this. He had a lot of his memories back, some of them not so great. Some of them made him want to punch a certain Francophile in the face. He promised John he wouldn't.

John. If there was any way that his relationship with the man could get any messier or anymore more confusing this was it.

On one hand he wanted to start right where they left off before Alexander had chosen to marry Eliza. Alex wanted him so much his heart ached. On the other hand John wasn't the exact same as he had been before. Sure it was still John, no doubt about that, but he had new memories too. New experiences that Alex never learned of.

Maybe it was better if they stayed friends for a while, even if Alex yearned to be with him. He was hopeful that they would get together again. The two did go on a date after all. Was it a date? Was it possible that John knew who Alex was and it was all a ploy to get the entire group back together again?
Alex was spiraling. And he was definitely not listening to whatever Peggy was saying. He felt bad for not listening to xem. Yes xem, Peggy didn't really feel gender this time around so xe used gender neutral pronouns. Would it take some getting used to? Absolutely, but Alex wanted xem to feel comfortable.

He really tried to listen to what Peggy was saying, truly, but his mind kept drifting.

"...and so then Eliza was. Alex? Hey dude are you even listening to me?" Peggy waved xyr hand in front of Alex's face. He snapped out of his daze.

"Uh yeah, yeah. I'm listening, so what happened next?"

Peggy crossed xyr arms, "You totally weren't. All you've been doing is staring off into space. Is it memories popping up? I know it sucks pretty bad but what are you going to do. Right? So any way Eliza was all like..." Peggy went right back to rambling about some story about xem and xyr sisters.

Then someone tapped on Alex's shoulder.

He immediately flinched, he may or may not have recently gotten diagnosed PTSD who knows, and flipped around to see who it was. Alex regretted that decision.

"Hello Hamilton." Standing before Alex was a tall, dark, and completely idiot man.

"Jefferson." The two stood staring at each other. Nowhere near eye to eye because Jefferson was more than half a foot taller than Alex.

Peggy saw the two staring and raised xyr eyebrows. "I think I'm just gonna leave this to you two," with that xe made xyr exit.

"I see you're just as small and dimwitted as you were back in the 1700s." Alex was seething, but he was trying his best to not act out physically. Nobody ever said anything about verbal abuse.

"You must be really insecure about something if you're just going to walk up to me out of nowhere and insult my height. At least I can walk through a doorway and not worry about hitting my head on the door frame." Of course Jefferson was going to make height jokes Alex was ready to say them right back. The only people aloud to make those himself and possibly John if the time was right. If you couldn't tell Jefferson was not on that list.

The two stayed like that for a second, just looking at each other. "Woo, you could cut the tension between you two right now with a knife." Both of the men turned to the right to see Peggy, slowly clapping.