21. mind barf

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Hello!
I'm back🙂

...for now.

I haven't been here in months,  I know.

Sorry😶
But at the same time, not sorry... 😬

I haven't been feeling like writing, and now I strangely did, so I am!

Let's try to talk about me🙂😳🤣

Well.. I feel like I lowkey have been depressed as shit, but also been fine, if that made any sense.

It's just that.. this whole year, people have been telling me that I'll be fine, and that I am fine, and that I have nothing to worry about.

...that doesn't relly help🙂
-at all🙂🙂

Nope!🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂

I know it is meant well, so I'm not mad at the people, but kinda I am.

No, I'm not, I'm just a little irritated that I am being told how good I am, and how great I'm doing and how if I'll just keep going, things will go better when in fact the total opposite has happened,  and I knew it would.

It's like, everything atound me, my life. It is great!

But I can't get my head out of my ass and thing positive!!

It's just all depressive deep stuff, and I can make everything,  and than I mean EVERYTHING, sad, deep and depressive.🙂🙂

Thing's are kind of "loosening up" a bit. But going with those taughts all the time, is hard. Especially since I am a really sensitive person, and I get a bad physical and mental feeling over anything. It has been rough, still is.

But if I don't deal with the shit, it ain't going away.

Something about the "being mad about people telling me I'm doing fine-thing".

It is kind of my fault. If I'm just showing and telling folks the good stuff, how the hell are the gonna know I am bleading snd hurting on the inside?!😶

EXACTLY 🙂🙂🙂

So! The good stuff!!😊⬇️

Me, yunofangirl, and our new friend are going to display our art like a gallery😁😁😁😁

It was S's idea!

(I'm calling her by the first letter in her name for privacy reasons, since I don't wanna expose her without promotion.)

She lives with a really creative lady,  and they taught it would be cool to do that if we wanted to.

And me and Kate were like.

OMGDOYOURELLYWANTTODOTHATTHATISAMAZINGOMGOMGYESOFCOURSEDOWEWANTTHATTHANKYOUSOMUCH😭😭😭😭🥰

Also. Im not moving🙂

I changed my mind for multiple reasons. Don't want to talk much about it.  I'm not "there" right now.
Just giving you the conclusion that it is the right desition😊

So that was it for now😅

It's 23.55 (Norwegian time) when I'm writing this btw, so there is definitely SO much grammar and spelling mistakes in this chapter that you could vomit or something. But I don't care right now, sorry. Good night.❤

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