Drink Your Medicine (Jalex)

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That morning, I woke up at four thirty. I couldn't fall back asleep within five minutes, so I decided to go and talk to Jack. I forgot what this feels like. What it's like to want to see a person every day. Back at home, in Essex, I had a lot of friends. They all liked my very much, and I was constantly hanging out with them. I was almost never home because of it. Of course, now it takes effort to get me out of bed, much less out to hang out with people. I don't know what changed so much. People around here just don't seem to like me as much. 

Then again, it's been seven years since then. What am I doing wrong? 

I knocked on the mirror gently, and Jack yawned as he greeted me. "Do you have any idea what time it is? " He asked, sounded exhausted. 

"I couldn't fall back asleep, "  I whispered in response simply. 

He looked dead in his eyes, but smiled slightly anyway. "I'm honored that I'm the first person that you want to bother when you can't sleep at night." 

There was no sarcasm in his voice at all. Why can't there be more people like this in the world? "Yes. It's quite the honor, " I said, feeling myself smile slightly in return. 

"Did you drink your medicine? " Jack asked. 

My face fell at the reminder of reality. "Oh, shit. I forgot. Hang on. " I ran back to my room and drank a spoonful of the red liquid. I returned to the bathroom, but Jack wasn't in the mirror. When I knocked and called him, he didn't respond. Maybe he just fell asleep. Or maybe I am imagining him. Or maybe he doesn't really like me. Or maybe- My breathing became shallow and quick. The room was spinning. I closed my eyes and fell to my knees. Please make it end. Please get me off. 

"Alex? " I heard the voice of my dad. 

"I'm here! " I shouted. It came out as more of a cry than I'd wanted it to. 

I felt him grab my arm and lift me to my feet. "Alex, just breathe. You're still. I'm here. " 

The desperate gasps that I'd been doing before slowed to normally paced breathing after about two minutes. Everything slowed down. Everything was still. Had I really just freaked out that much over a guy in my mirror? 

Now calm, I looked my father in the face. "I'm just going to go back to bed, " I told him. I looked back to the mirror one last time before leaving the room. I crawled back into bed and began my innermost rant. You can't trust anyone. Even those who you think are good people eventually betray you. I know it may sound dark to you, but you're not the one who's friend-to-be just left you. I was just abandoned by the one person who I finally felt might have been trustworthy. 

This is why I never, ever leave my bed willingly. 

I never fell back asleep. I just tossed and turned for the next half hour or so. When my alarm clock went off at five, I took two doses of my medicine. I can essentially take it whenever I want to, but I can't take too much of it. Overdosing can make the situation I'm in even worse. Instead of helping me to stay relaxed, it would cause my body to become so weak I couldn't move properly. As of current however, that seems like a pretty damn good idea. So I went off to the bathroom, got dressed, took two more doses, brushed my hair, took two more doses, and then brushed my teeth just before taking another two doses. I could see and hear Jack in the mirror, pounding on it to get me to stop. What does he care? He abandoned me. 

When I went to leave the bathroom, my foot could barely lift off of the ground. "Mum! " I called, my tongue feeling like lead in my mouth. 

She entered shortly afterwards. "What's the matter? "

"I think that I might have overdosed a bit. " I glanced over at the mirror, and Jack was gone. Serves him right. I'll put him through the same torture that he put me through. 

She held up one hand in front of me. "Push on my hand as hard as you can. "

I struggled to lift my arm, and then I proceeded to weakly push against her. It definitely helped that I wasn't faking it. "How can I go to school like this? " I asked quietly. 

"Did you overdose on purpose? " She looked at me knowingly. 

I looked down and swallowed my saliva hard. I can lie to her if it means that I won't have to deal with school today. "No. I just lost track of how much I drank. I was trying to calm myself down. " 

She looked at me with sympathy and helped lead me back to my room. I gladly accepted her crutch to help myself. If I was faking, I would never have let her treat me like this. My mother knows that very well. I sat on the edge of my bed until she left, and then I proceeded to throw up into the nearest trash can. I may have overdone the overdose thing a bit too much. It didn't help that I could barely move, so vomit just kept getting in my hair. Now I really feel like shit. 

My mother came back to the room after I had emptied the contents of my stomach with a wet wash cloth. "Oh, Alex. You really overdid it this time. You have to pay attention to that. " She looked at me with pity as she rubbed the gross stuff off of my lips and pulled it out of my hair. 

After I was all cleaned up, I finally passed out on my bed. Thoughts of Jack abandoning me haunted my nightmares.