Follow The Sun {Liam Hemsworth}

Bloodshot

    Eventually, I end up knocking on Josh's dressing room door and by that time, I am sobbing so hard that I can't breathe. His hair is messy and he looks confused because he probably wasn't expecting anyone for a while, but when he sees me, his eyes soften and fill with concern. "Are you okay?" is the first thing he asks. All I can do is shake my head as I collapse at the knees. Josh catches me before I fall to the ground, pulls me inside and hugs me until I calm down.

    With blurry and bloodshot eyes, I watch as he gets me water in a styrofoam cup. I try not to think so that I don't break down again, but I know that I have to explain why I'm crying. I tell Josh what Gary said through tears and shaky breaths without taking more than a small sip of the water. He listens attentively as I struggle out words through my shaking sobs. When I can no longer continue speaking, Josh sighs and rubs his forehead with his hand, thinking. For a few seconds, the only sound in the room is my sniffles.

"Look," he starts. "Liam is going to be looking for you. He's going to try to talk to you and ignore everything Gary said because he likes you a whole hell of a lot. You have to stay strong. Don't give in to it. I know you like him too but this is your career Vivianne. This movie will be over before you even know it and then you guys can be together."

    I inhale deeply and wipe my cheeks dry. "Okay?" He reaches out and takes my hand, which reassures me a lot more than he probably realizes. "Okay." I repeat, nodding. "Everything is going to be fine." he says. I believe that. Eventually, everything will be fine. I'll be fine whether Liam and I end up together or not. Everything will end up fine in the end. He's just one man, and the world wouldn't end over one man no matter how sweet, cute, or gentlemanly they are.

    There's a knock on the door and Josh gets up again to answer it. He leans against the doorframe when he opens it, but I can tell that it's anything but casual. "Hey, what's up?" he says, blocking the person from my view. "Have you seen Vivianne around here anywhere?" a familiar female voice asks. Jennifer, maybe? I almost stand up to tell her that I'm right here, but Josh shakes his head before I can. "Liam just came to my dressing room, he's looking for her." I slowly sit back in my seat again and try not to make much noise.

"No, I... haven't heard from her since she texted me that she was on her way."

"Me either. Apparently, she was here though, and Gary told her that she and Liam can't talk to each other anymore. Can you believe that?"

"Maybe she left... I would."

"Yeah, maybe. I'll go bounce that idea off of Liam and see what else I can do. Can't believe Gary could be so cruel."

    They talk for only a couple more seconds before she decides that she should get going. She kisses Josh's cheek quickly and then leaves. Normally, I would grin and tease him playfully about his unofficial relationship with Jennifer but this time, I only feel sad. Why do they get to date and hang out whenever they'd like, but Liam and I can't? I feel more tears stinging my eyes but I quickly blink them away before they can fall.

    I wait only a couple more minutes after Jen leaves before deciding to leave as well. I thank Josh for being such a great friend and hug him. He is a great friend, that's the truth. I shouldn't be angry at him, I should be angry at myself for letting myself fall for someone so fast, or for getting so drunk at that party, or for not leaving as soon as I woke up. All of this is my fault, not his or Gary's or Liam's. I can't blame anyone else for mistakes that I made.

    I make it out of the building without running into Liam, but just because I didn't have to physically see his face didn't mean that it stopped him from calling and texting me nonstop for the rest of the day. I don't answer his calls because I know that I wouldn't be able to hear his voice and keep up with this act. Hearing his voice is better than seeing his eyes however and I'll have to face both eventually.

    The rest of my day consists of crying and watching every movie on my Netflix queue. I realize at around eight o'clock that maybe I should eat something, but then I think about how Liam and I ate that delicious pizza together and my appetite disappears. I end up crying again when I realize that I probably won't get to find out what other movies make him cry or what his favorite song is or even his favorite actor. He'd probably be corny and say me or something.

    Somewhere around eleven, I decide to listen to the voicemails and read the text messages he left partially because I missed his voice and partially because the notifications annoyed me. Most of the voicemails were asking me why I wouldn't talk to him, if I'm okay or if I would just please call him back. I delete them all and force myself to refrain from texting him. To keep myself under control, I conclude that it's time to go to bed.

    I don't sleep for a while because I can't stop thinking about him. His eyes, his accent, his smile. I end up crying again at the thought of not being  around him. I think briefly about the fact that if I don't get some sleep, I'm going to have some terrible dark circles to match my bloodshot eyes and then Sophie would kill me. So I roll over on my side, shut my eyes and slowly fall asleep, dreaming about blue eyes and Australian accents.